Away
by MamaBearMayhem
Summary: She was always going to be Jax Teller's old lady... Whether she liked it or not.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my dear reader chums. Wow. It has been a long time! Many apologies! A lot has happened over the last 18 months. I met a great guy, started a new job, and had a baby so writing has taken a major back seat. In that time I finally got around to watching Sons of Anarchy and jesus it broke me!**

 **I have no idea what this one shot is. It just came to me and it's the first time I've been inspired to write so I just went with it. It's a load of nonsense and nothing really happens but let me know what you think about it :)**

 **I will hopefully get around to updating my other stories when inspiration for them hits. I've tried a number of times but just cant think of anything to write.**

 **Much love xx**

 _ **I do not own Sons of Anarchy or its characters.**_

"I won't keep having this fight!" Jax yelled, saliva escaping from his lips as he seethed with barely contained anger. "You're not in charge! Stop acting like a spoiled bitch. You're my old lady. Do as you're told before you get hurt!"

Mouth agape, Jules flinched and took an instinctive step backawards away from Jax; furthering the physical distance between the two whilst momentarily pondering upon the current tempestuous state of their relationship and the emotional distance that seemed to plague their love.

Biting on his clenched fist, Jax squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to breathe deep and quench the fire inside his gut. He despised the look he saw in the eyes of his girlfriend but no matter how many times he saw it, he could never stop himself when the hateful words left his mouth. She pushed his buttons like no other and he was certain that with or without her, she would be the death of him. Still, though, she needed to learn that club business was his priority and that her place by his side could only be written in stone if she followed the rules.

"If being your 'old lady' means standing by while you screw every tart that throws herself at you then count me out."

"I did what I had to do!" Jax argued.

"No. You did what you wanted to do." Jules shot back, trying hard to remain composed as she watched the man infront of her begin to unravel.

"I did what needed to be done to protect this club. To protect you."

"Don't you dare put this on me. I've turned a blind eye to all the violence time and time again, Jax. I've cleaned your wounds and stitched you up. I've killed people for you... but this - knowing you've slept with other women - it kills me inside."

Running his fingers through his shoulder length blonde hair, Jax sat down on the edge of the untidy double bed of one of the Club house's many bedrooms and felt the bed sink under his weight. He held his face in the palms of his hands for a few seconds before rubbing the stubble on his cheeks and staring directly into Jules' green eyes.

"I love you. You need to trust me, darlin'"

A shake of her head was all the response Jules could give. He had glossed over his infidelity, his destruction of her soul and inner peace. A knock at the door tugged her away from her own sense of self-pity and loathing and she watched as the door opened and in walked Gemma; her face stoic even as her eyes scanned the couple and an air of omniscience radiated from her.

"Clay wants you." she directed towards her son, saying nothing more as she watched Jax rise to his feet, place one hand on Jules' waist and lean in to kiss her lips; getting only her cheek as she turned away from him.

"You okay, baby?" Jules heard Gemma ask.

The sounds of a celebration filtered into the room and Jules knew that she would have to leave the safety of her hideout and face the members and patrons of the club house. She could hear Chibs' booming laugh and the deep barotones of Bobby's voice as he crooned out yet another Elvis record. Lifting her head high, she brushed the waves of her milky brown hair from her eyes and forced a crooked smile.

"We got any bourbon left?"

Holding her arms open, Gemma placed one around the houlder of the young woman and guided out of the room and down the hall. "C'mon honey, I know where they keep the good stuff."

It was somewhere around her eigth glass of bourbon that Jules had an epiphany. Her mind a swirl of thoughts and the world around her a haze, she stumbled through the crowds of sweaty, drunk, laughing bodies, mumbling half aplogies and crashed through the doors of he club house. The frigid night air hit her square in the face and almost shocked her body into sobriety. Stopping short, she inhaled deeply until her lungs began to scream from the cold air injected into her system. As the minutes ticked by she continued to stand alone and stare at the myriad of colours the sky offered up to her. Eventually closing her eyes, Jules revelled in the gust of wind that blew her hair across her face and battered her bare shoulders. Behind her, she did not hear the door open - music booming and then dulling as the door closed again - nor hear the footsteps of her visitor. His voice took her by surprise; his first words to her in hours.

"Jules, what are you doing out here?"

"I thought you forgot about me." she replied, her back still to him.

She felt him wrap his arms around her waist and rest his chin on her shoulder. "Never" came his simple reply; his breath sour with the smell of stale beer.

"Truce?"

"Jax..." she sighed.

"I can be a better man for you. A better man with you. Just give me a chance."

"It's not that simple, Jax. The club-"

"- Is my family but so are you. You just got to me trust me, darlin'. No matter what I do, whatever happens, just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart."

Breathing in his scent and commiting it to memory, Jules softly pried Jax's hands apart and, remaining silent, she took one step. Then another and another. She was out of Jax's reach when she heard him speak; her alcohol impaired mind making decisions for her that she was sure she would regret one day.

"Where are you going?"

Her heels clicking on the pavement she walked with purpose.

"Away. Jax. Away."

Review?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, my dear readers. It's been a while. I wasn't intending on this being anything more than a one shot but I found myself inspired to write this week so here we are. I have started the next chapter too so let me know what you think of this and what you'd like to see. I'm also addicted to Opie OC fanfiction at the moment and there just isn't enough to satisfy me!**

Two seasons passed by in the small town of Charming before Jules finally returned. She had missed the bitterness of winter and her homecoming coincided with the beginning of summer. The streets were crammed with small children carrying ice-creams as their weary parents tried desperately to remain cool in the unforgiving heat. As she drove by the crowds, leaning her head back on the passenger seat head rest and letting the manufactured breeze blast her face, she tried hard to ignore the pit of worry in her stomach. She knew that her return was long overdue and most likely unwelcome, and she dreaded the moment she would come face to face with those she had abandoned.

The sudden feeling of a hand on her own pulled her from her thoughts and Jules forced a smile as she turned her head and stared at the man beside her. The gold band that adorned the fourth finger of her left hand glittered brightly in the sun as the rays bounced off of the round diamond. She had not expected to return to Charming so soon and she knew, with every cell in her body, that the Club would not take her sudden engagement positively. Even the thought of it caused her shoulders to hunch and the fake smile to fall from her face, and it did not go unnoticed.

"Hey. Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Yeah, maybe." Jules responded. "You're right. Everything will be fine." She stated again more confidently; placating her fiancé with a smile.

"I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

With one final smile, Jules nodded her head and turned away from the man who promised her safety – removing her hand from under his – and returned to silently watching the unsuspecting people as she travelled further into town.

* * *

Tumbling out and off of the jail cell's version of a bed, Jax cursed when his body hit the floor and a sharp pain shot through his shoulder. Not even the leather of his Cut softened the blow and as he picked himself up from the floor, he instantly regretted his drunken antics from the night before. His head pound incessantly as he picked himself up off the ground and plonked his bottom down on the edge of the 'bed'; leaning his head gently back against the stone wall and blocking out the spinning room with tightly shut eyes.

"Teller. Time to go." Spoke an officer whose face was familiar to Jax but whose name was not.

Sauntering passed the law man, Jax frowned when he entered the main section of the police station and saw his mother speaking with Unser; the police captain and one of the Club's paid allies. The second his mother locked eyes with him, Jax groaned and raised his arms in mock defeat. Gemma stood with one hand on her hip and a look of exasperation plastered all over her face, which served only to highlight her aging despite the overall youthful look she still maintained.

"Mom."

"This is the third time this month, Jax." She said, greeting him with a hug and kiss on the cheek in spite of her being annoyed.

"Just a bit of fun, Mom." Jax fired back with a nonchalant laugh, returning Gemma's kiss even as she hummed her disapproval. "Besides, no harm done."

"Before you two go, you should know that David's back." Unser began, the wrinkles and worry lines on his weathered face deepening as he spoke of his returning Deputy.

"Has that asshole not drove off a cliff yet?" Gemma scoffed, rolling her eyes.

Ignoring Gemma's harsh comment, Unser continued in a quiet voice. "I'll try and keep him off your backs for as long as possible but just lay low, yeah? Keep the Club on the right side of the law for once?"

Slapping the old man on the back, Jax grinned and his eye lit up. "Now, Unser, where would be the fun in that?"

Still laughing, Jax strolled down the hallway towards the exit and left his mother to make her false reassurances to the Captain. A rustling and shutting of a door behind him caught his attention and he spun his head around to find a source to the noise. When he saw that he was completely alone in the corridor, he dismissed it and walked through the glass doors of the station and into the blazing heat.

Inside the almost claustrophobic store cupboard Jules panicked; her breath came out in short bursts and her skin felt clammy in a way she knew had nothing to do with the weather. The tightness in her chest was stubborn and refused to subside and the overwhelming feeling of cowardice made her ashamed of herself. It would be impossible to avoid Jax Teller forever but the way she had instinctively fled to hide at just the sound of his voice was confirmation that she was far from ready to confront her past. As she stowed away in the cupboard she begun to wonder, not for the first - nor last time that day she was sure - , whether she would ever be ready to face Jax.

The tapping of a knock at the door disrupted the stillness and made Jules jump. She accidentally caused a broom to fall and crash into a set of metal buckets and the deafening sound cracked in the air. Instantly, the door was pulled open and Unser raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"They're gone." He eyed Jules huddled in the corner and the mess that lay at her feet.

"Unser..."

She couldn't speak. She didn't tell him that being back in Charming made her feel suffocated. That she had spent eight months trying to wipe away all traces of Jax Teller and SAMCRO from her life. She didn't tell him that she still did not feel clean. Nor how she was one hundred percent sure that if she were to be in Jax's presence alone she would risk everything and burn her new life to the ground without a second thought to the consequences, just to feel his kiss. Of course, she did not need to tell him these things because he already knew. After all, he was the one who helped her to escape.

"You should go find David."

Nodding, Jules stepped carefully over the fallen equipment and straightened the skirt of her pale grey dress. She looked up once more to thank Unser but he shook his head at her thanks and reiterated for her to find the man she had promised to marry. It took only a few minutes for Jules to track him down and she watched him from afar while he finished his conversation with the co-workers he had spent the last couple of months away from. David, she took note of, was handsome in a traditional way. His shoulders were broad and he stood with the authority one only gained from a life serving as an officer; a protector of the innocent. His hair was short and dark and his eyes shined with kindness. He was adept at making her laugh and Jules knew that a life with David would be safe and happy.

"I was wondering where you'd gotten to."

"I just needed some air." Jules lied, as David kissed her on the cheek and proceeded to introduce her as his soon to be wife.

Of course, everyone remembered Jules. How could they not. Her time as Jax Teller's old lady was still fresh in the minds of the residents of Charming and more than once, Jules caught the fellow officers of her fiancé eyeing her warily before plastering cheap, fake smiles onto their faces and giving both herself and David their congratulations.

"So when's the wedding." One of men asked. "I didn't even know you were seeing anyone, David."

"It was a whirlwind romance. How could I not snap up this gorgeous creature? Look at her." With another kiss planted on her head and a squeeze of her waist, Jules smiled politely but added nothing to the conversation. "But no date yet. We wanted Jules to have a chance to get settled back in first."

"How long have you been gone, again?" The man, whose name Jules could finally recall, directed at her; staring straight into her eyes. The question was an innocent one but she could feel the weight of its underlying connotations bearing down on her and she averted her eyes as she answered.

"Eight months."

"Not long then. Seems like a lot has changed for you."

"Can we go home?" She pointedly asked David.

She waited only a few moments from him to reply and then instantly walked away. She knew that he would follow her and she heard him say his goodbyes.

"Hey, Jules…"

Jules stopped to turn and see David's co-worker eye her with a smile.

"Welcome back to Charming."

 **Review? :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys. Hope you're all well. Thank you for the follows. A review was posted that made a good point that Jules would know David would return to Charming when she said yes to his proposal. This will be addressed soon enough guys :) It's a long chapter for you. I got to writing in work and just couldn't stop. The next chapter is already being written so should be with you next week. Enjoy :)**

The feel of her hands on his skin set his senses of fire. Her nails raked down his sweaty back and he hissed as they dug in just a little too deep to be pleasurable. His only goal was the release of his own physical pleasure and its imminent freedom was near; he just needed something to push him over the edge.

"Jax."

The sound of his name came out husky and breathless and the woman beneath him clung to him even tighter. Still, it wasn't enough to satisfy him. Nothing was ever enough anymore. Not since Jules had left.

A booming knock on the door to the room he kept at the Club house interrupted him and pulled him from his thoughts of things past before he could spiral dangerously into them. It also distracted him from the naked woman beneath him who did not even bat an eyelid when Chibs flung open the door.

"Well, well, Jackie Boy."

Chibs' chuckle of amusement grated on Jax as his sexual frustration began to peak and he growled out a declaration of dissatisfaction.

"What the hell do you want, Chibs? I'm kind of busy here."

"I can see that. You might want to get dressed, love" he suggested towards the crow-eater occupying Jax's bed, his Scottish twang filling the space, as he threw a white t-shirt at his fellow club member. "You too, Jackie."

In one swift motion, Jax was free from the woman and muttered only a quick apology before completely dismissing her. He did not even glance her way when she cursed him out and stormed out of the room with only her underwear on to grant her some dignity.

"This couldn't have waited?" asked Jax, pulling on his shirt and hitching up his jeans.

"She's just a piece of ass. You can get another crow eater later. C'mon, we're going for a ride."

Throwing Jax's leather Cut at him, Chibs continued to lean against the door and stare at his Vice-President until he was fully dressed and laughed when he shook his head and lazed out of the room. Following, the two men walked through the main club room – sparsely filled as its usual members went about their own business for the day – and exited the building into the blinding sun light.

Protecting his eyes with his signature black shades, Jax mounted his beloved bike and clipped on his helmet; already hating how he could feel sweat beginning to ooze from head. He waited as Chibs did the same until the arrival of his mother interrupted their plans. She stood, one hand on her hip and the other shielding her eyes from the high-rise sun, silent and intimidating.

"Mom, I don't have time for one of your lectures."

"Where are you going?"

"Just out for a ride. We won't be long."

The hum that left Gemma's mouth made it clear that she doubted her son's words but Gemma kept quiet; only placing a small kiss on her son's cheek before focusing all of her attention on Chibs.

"Bring him back in one piece." She whispered, moving away as the roaring engines of the bikes came to life.

With a nod, Chibs drove off first with Jax following close behind. The streets of Charming flew by in a haze and the two men concentrated on nothing but the road and the surge of electricity than ran through their bodies as they travelled to the outskirts of the town. It was only when they reached the wide, open fields that adorned the town limits did they finally stop. Each threw off their helmets and wiped away the grime and sweat that covered their faces. The sun was still high despite it approaching early evening and Jax had to squint in order to focus on Chibs' face properly. It was as the older man was taking a swig of warm water to quench his thirst that Jax spoke.

"So what's with the sudden need to take a ride, huh?"

"Can't we want to just enjoy the scenery every once in a while?"

Jax cast a scathing look as Chibs folded easily; his eyes rolling and his body sagging against the leather seat of his bike. Sighing, he stared straight into the eyes of his younger club member. The air around them was quiet.

"We're worried about you."

"Jesus Christ. Did my mom put you up to this?" fired Jax, rolling his eyes.

"No. Listen –"

"Clay then?"

"No." Chibs reiterated; now standing with his hands on Jax's shoulders in an attempt to calm the man and prevent him from further fidgeting.

"I don't need a nanny or a therapist. I'm okay, Chibs."

"We're just concerned. The last eight months –"

"Don't you dare say her name!"

"You're in and out of that damn jail more times than a crow-eater's knickers go up and down! You're distracted. You're drinking all night and when you're not getting into fights you're fucking everything with a pulse. This isn't you, Jackie."

"I swear to God, Chibs, don't say it."

By now, Jax was pacing erratically and his blood was boiling with anger and denial. His footsteps leaving clouds of brown dirt in their wake.

"Jules isn't coming back."

The punch came at him quickly but was not entirely unexpected. The snap of his head as the force of the fist connected with his jaw line was painful to say the least. Spitting out a pool of blood caused by his now bleeding lip, Chibs did not retaliate and remained mute for only a few seconds whilst he allowed Jax to yell and kick the tyres of his bike to blow off steam.

"You need to forget her."

"You need to shut up."

Mounting his bike and placing his helmet back upon his head, Chibs eyed up a defeated but still furious looking Jax.

"You're not the only one who misses her."

He left Jax to contemplate his parting words and barely glanced in his side mirror as he drove away. The journey back into town was short. Or at least it felt that way. His mind whirled with thoughts and memories he had long since entertained, but now everything within Chibs' head was consumed by Jules. She had up and left with no warning; no goodbye note or explanation for why she had felt the need to abandon her family. Of course, they had all tried to find her. Their desperation turning to fear when they realised the threat she posed with her knowledge of all their secrets. Talk had one point turned to 'disposing' of her but Jax had vetoed it immediately. With it, all discussion of the absent woman had unceremoniously ceased. She had become an unacknowledged ghost in the room.

Slowing, Chibs manoeuvred the beast of a machine he was on through the suburban street. Rows of identical, idyllic houses stood on both sides and were lined with manicured lawns. The only differences rose from the differing vehicles that adorned the driveways and the litters of toys and screaming children that played outside their homes in the slowly depleting sunshine.

As a small, red and yellow spotted ball rolled into the road, Chibs instinctively stopped his bike and allowed the two young boys chasing after it to collect; smiling at them politely when he heard their mother chastise them for being so unsafe. It was this serendipitous moment that led him to look up at just the right moment when he heard the chime of a laugh that almost stilled his beating heart.

There she was. No longer a ghost but a fully resurrected memory; flesh and blood and back where she belonged… almost. Chibs immediately made to drive towards her yet halted when he witnessed the newly returned deputy chief of police exit the porch and take the box Jules had been holding from her hands and place a tender kiss on her lips. Even from where he was sat, Chibs could see the smile Jules gave was genuine and it filled him with such disappointment that he felt floored by his emotions. He had stumbled onto a secret; one he was certain he wouldn't be able to keep.

* * *

The ice-cold temperature of the pristine white and black coloured kitchen tiles bit at the nerve endings of Jules' feet. An involuntary chill shook her body and she padded quickly through the kitchen; grabbing the still warm mug of tea that David had made her that morning before he left for work, as she made her way to the ringing door bell. It was a little past ten in the morning and the sun blazed through the open blinds of the hallway; illuminating the walls and bouncing off of the glass framed pictures that hung from them. She hummed a tune contently.

She almost dropped the mug. The good mood she had been in before opening the front door to her new home had instantly vanished. Chibs gave her no smile but no scowl either. His figure was a daunting one as his height blocked out the sun but his eyes held only a knowing expression, and Jules gulped and gripped the door tightly.

"Don't kill me."

"Oh, Lass. I'm not here to kill you." Chibs replied, walking forward in spite of a lack of invitation to enter.

Jules let him pass and she watched him appraise her; his eyes settling on the diamond ring that was still clinging to the mug she carried. Only then did he frown, his lips forming a tight line, before delving further into the house and into the kitchen. The sight of Chibs in her home – his black leather jacket, dirty jeans, and a mop of messy dark hair tinged generously with grey that matched his beard – was completely at odds with her surroundings and it made her so uncomfortable that she struggled to stay still.

"You're getting married." It wasn't a question.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I love him."

The answers Jules gave were stilted and not forthcoming. A deep uneasiness had set into her bones and she placed the mug of tea gently down on the counter top for fear that she would drop it. Her arms folded of their own accord and Chibs sighed at the emotional distance that was evidently present between them.

"No you don't."

"Excuse me?"

"You haven't been gone long enough to love that do-gooder."

"You know his name. I know you do. And for your information, David is kind and sweet and protective. He loves me and he takes care of me."

"I got it. He's a saint. Now why are you marrying him?"

"Jesus, Chibs. I just told you. I love him." Jules argued, her voice still quiet but firm.

Seeing how the woman in front of him avoided his gaze, Chibs took one step towards her and halted when he saw Jules flinch and take an equal step back. Her green eyes were wide with alarm and apprehension and she had flung an arm up, level with his chest, to prevent him from coming any further.

"Stop."

"I'm not going to hurt you." His voice tender.

"You might not…"

The insinuation was clear and Chibs held up his hands in surrender. It had never once crossed his mind to hurt the woman he cared deeply for; who was like a daughter to him. However, not all members of SAMCRO were as conflicted when it came to hurting people; even the ones they loved.

"You're not in any danger here, Jules. Jax made sure of that months ago."

Her mind's eye conjured up an image of Jax so crystal clear that it was almost as if he were in the room with her. Just as quickly as he had appeared, Jules' mind had shook him away like a cloud of fog dissipating instantly. She did not need to be blinded by her unresolved feelings for Jax as she prepared to cement her future.

"Please leave."

"Come home so we can fix things. Jax needs you."

"I love David and I'm going to marry him. Now get out."

"I don't know why you're back but I know it isn't to live happily ever after with Hale of all people."

"Stop talking to me and leave."

She stormed away from the man she had once thought of as family and wrenched open the door to home. She heard him follow her and the second he had passed over the threshold, she slammed the door shut and turned away before her courage failed her. Every part of her body shook and Jules collapsed to a heap on the carpeted rug that sat in the hallway.

It was a long time before she moved again. The mailman came and went. Door to door sales people visited her home and gave up when she refused to answer their third knock. The striking of the antique cuckoo clock that hung in the lounge, an heirloom from David's long deceased grandmother, split the silence in the air and finally, with aching legs from sitting too long, Jules clambered to her feet and shuffled up the stairs. Her feet carried her automatically to the bathroom and she let her muscle memory overtake her as her hands went through the motions of filling the claw-foot tub with steaming hot water. Stripping off her white cotton night gown, Jules lowered her still shaking body into the tub and closed her eyes as the heat encased her.

 _"I'm too smart to be seduced by you."_

 _She banged the filing cabinet shut and grabbed her can of cola from the desk; taking a swig and grimacing at how warm it had become in the stuffy office._

 _"I know." Jax smirked. "That's why I like you."_

 _"I'm not interested, Jax. How about you go find that crow-eater from last night. I'm sure she'd be interested."_

 _"She's lonely and desperate."_

 _"Clearly. She slept with you." She quipped, raising one eyebrow playfully and sauntering past him._

 _Like a lap dog he trailed after her and watched her walk through the lot and into the garage where Clay and Tigs were stood, in their pale blue, grease covered overalls, fixing the engine of a car that belonged to a random member of the town. Leaning against the metal edge that connected the open shutters to the wall, Jax watched Jules grab her car keys from the hook where she kept them every day and continued to pursue her._

 _"You hurt me, darlin'. How am I meant to go on with my life without you in it?" he asked, teasing her and ignoring the raised eyebrows Tigs gave him._

 _"Somehow I think you'll manage." Answered Jules, gliding past him once more. "Besides…" she started, turning back to face him as she walked slowly backwards across the gravel. "…If you ever get lonely you've always got your right hand to keep you company."_

 _"Jules. C'mon."_

 _"I have a date. See you later, Jax."_

A pair of hands pulled her from the shallow depths of the water and the sudden interruption made Jules gasp and choke for air as she finally surfaced. In front of her, David was crouched over the bath staring at her with wide eyes. Instantly, he hugged her tight in spite of her wet hair and skin soaking his uniform.

"Jesus, Jules. I thought you were dead. What on earth were you doing?" he questioned; the panic unmistakable in his voice as it began to crack.

His hands cupped her cheek and she rubbed the water from her eyes and pushed the hair back from her face. The room was blurry and it took a little too long for her eyes to refocus properly. Once they had, she came to her senses and began to apologise.

"I'm sorry. I was just…" her sentence tapered off; not really knowing how to answer it nor wanting to admit she was lost in the past. "Wait, why are you home?"

"I came to check on you. My patrol was right by the house. C'mon, let's get you out of here." He said, helping Jules to her feet and handing her a thick, white terry cloth towel.

The room was stifling from the combination of the summer heat and the steam from hot water, and the thickness of the towel now covering her naked body only intensified how flushed and faint she felt. Stumbling, she fell into the arms of her fiancé and thanked him as he straightened her up.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Honestly. Maybe a hot bath wasn't my greatest idea." Laughed Jules.

"Listen, I have to get back to work. Just promise me you'll be okay."

"I will be fine." She emphasised, kissing him softly. "Stop worrying."

"Okay." He started to walk from the room and into the upstairs hallway. "Why don't you go for a walk? It's a nice day."

"Yeah. Maybe." She shrugged non-committedly.

"Oh, and I hate to do this but I'm going to be late tonight. I missed stuff being away and a lot of shit has gone down with SAMCRO."

Averting her gaze, Jules remained tight lipped until David began to rub the tops of her arms with his thumbs and pressed his forehead against hers.

"Sorry. I know you don't want to hear about them."

"No. Don't be silly. I can't avoid them forever. Just be safe, okay?"

"Of course. I'll see you tonight. I love you."

"I love you too."

Left alone, the silence was once again resounding and it left her feeling anxious and jittery. Grabbing a hair from the top of the dresser as soon as she entered the bedroom, Jules gathered her wet and tangled hair together and twisted it into a bun that sat atop her head. The sun would dry it in no time, she knew, so she skipped drying both it and herself. It took less than two minutes for her to dress appropriately in a pair of fraying denim shorts and a loose, black halter-top. She bounded down the stairs, snatching up her keys, shoving her feet into a pair of soft-soled pumps, and covering her eyes with her favourite pair of red-rimmed shades that always reminded her of the glasses iconized by Audrey Hepburn.

Just like the previous day, the sun glowed hot and everything sizzled. Stopping for a bottle of water as soon as she reached the first store on her journey, she gulped down the water and sighed with pleasure as the liquid cooled her insides. She had no plan in mind. Her feet pounded the pavement and navigated the streets of Charming by memory alone and before she knew it, without ever having consciously intended to do so, she was standing outside the partially open gate of the yard that homed the Teller-Morrow garage and the SAMCRO club house. Everything was just as she remembered it. After all, she had been away less than a year.

The metal of the bars was cool, having been saved by the sanctuary of the shade, and Jules curled her hand around one of the bars and peeked at the scene before her. If Chibs was right, then she truly was safe. Yet, she could not rid herself of her fears no matter how much she tried to rationalise her actions and motivations. Still, there she was. Tempting fate against her better judgement. The pull of home, of belonging, was stronger than she had anticipated and her feet refused to move despite her intentions to leave.

She searched for him but saw no-one. She searched for his bike; its image was committed to her mind with perfect accuracy and she remembered the roar of the engine and the feel of the vibrations on her thighs. The disappointment and relief were both too much when she failed to find it. Immediately, she knew he must be out attending to whatever immoral and illegal business Clay had the club currently wrapped up in. Reluctantly, she dropped her hand from the bar and turned around to leave. So wrapped up in her own thoughts, she had failed to hear the rumble of a motorcycle engine and now it was too late. The bike stopped as it pulled up to the gate. His eyes were still covered with his own shades and he had so far not recognised her. She was trapped with no-where to run.

"Can I help you?" he asked, kicking down the stand to secure his bike as he climbed off; his head bowed.

Now was her chance. She willed her feet to move and internally rejoiced when they did. Her attempt to sneak past him was futile though. No sooner had she moved did his hand snap up and snake around her slender wrist, yanking her back to him. She cursed her choice of clothing. The tattoo that adorned her right shoulder blade, a thin, black outline of a rose with a spiral of thorns tangled around its stem, was visible and distinctive. It was one of a kind and it signalled her identity like a blaring siren.

His dark eyes bore into her and she shied away from his intense gaze. He seemed surprised to see her as he silently took in the sight of her. He did not smile. He did not shout or berate her. He simply stood there.

"Hi."

 **Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think :)**

"Still wearing that ridiculous hat, I see."

Opie remained stoic. His hand still gripped Jules' wrist like a vice. Although his face was a statue, his heart was beating out furiously. It was a long moment before Jules attempted to move and with it Opie finally broke his silence.

"I need to go." She whispered; a lump in her throat stopping Jules from speaking any louder.

"No. Stay."

He was a man of few words. Though not the most talkative of the members of SAMCRO, Opie had so much running through his mind but all that he could articulate was his demand for her to stay.

"I can't. I shouldn't be here. Please, let me go."

"You should stay."

"I don't belong here. Let go of me, Opie."

To hear her deny her home and family cut Opie just a deep as her initial exodus from Charming eight months before had. Though he had completely understood why she had fled their hometown, there was no rhyme or reason to her sudden reappearance. Answers were needed and he was determined to get them no matter the cost.

"I can't do that, Jules."

She wasn't struggling. She did not pull against him. At over six foot and well built, the man clinging to her was more than powerful enough to physically restrain her if he truly wanted to. It was more logical and beneficial to appeal to his underlying gentle nature.

"I have to leave. I need to go home. If Jax sees me he'll kill me!"

"Jax wouldn't hurt you."

"Yes he would. You know he would! The way I left-"

"He doesn't know." Opie stated, yanking Jules further towards him and heaving a sigh when he clocked the utter astonishment on her face at his revelation.

"You never told him?"

"No."

"I-Why?"

"Jax was already hurt enough when you left. He didn't need to know about that. He hasn't been himself since you left and I didn't want to make things worse for him. He's my best friend, Jules."

She stared at him for what seemed like an eternity as the pieces began to click into place like a puzzle being solved. Jax did not know her terrible secret. SAMCRO were not trying to silence her with death like she had feared for all those months. She truly had nothing to fear… except for her ability to self-sabotage; something, she knew, she was guilty of doing in that very moment. Even if the Sons of Anarchy did not want her dead to protect their secrets, she had made the conscious decision to leave Jax and her family for her own well-being. Now wasn't the time to go back and fall into her old life just because she was seeing the world she left through rose-tinted glasses.

"Thank you."

It was all that she could think to say as she stood there, Opie's hands still on her, familiar in so many ways, as the sun beat down relentlessly and began to slowly scorch her fair skin.

"I didn't do it just for Jax. You're my friend too and you belong here with us."

"I really don't."

"If that's true then why are you here?" he argued back.

Her mouth gaped open but Opie gave her no time to answer before bombarding Jules with information and criticisms. All of which, as she stood at the border of the gate still trapped in his arms, she knew to be fair and true but was unwilling to admit to.

"Chibs told me you were back. You're damn lucky he didn't tell anyone else yet. If Gemma finds out you're back and didn't come to see her, she'll drag you back here by your hair herself. And Jax… well you owe it to him to at least apologise. In fact, you owe all of us an apology for running away. We're meant to be family and you left us without a word. Who does that to their family?"

His voice rose with indignation as he continued to scold Jules; the latter feeling as small as a child as Opie's face twisted into a scowl that showed every fibre of hurt he was feeling.

"I'm sorry, alright?"

"No. If you were really sorry then you wouldn't be marrying that douchebag, Hale. Yeah, Chibs told me about that too." He added when he saw Jules' eyes snap up to look at him in surprise. "I don't know what the hell you think you're playing at, but you and Jax belong together."

Ripping her wrists out of Opie's grasp, Jules rubbed the now aching limbs. She stumbled only slightly but regained her standing quickly; now furious at his presumption that she belonged with someone who could, and did, discard her so easily for other women so many times. Closing what little space lay between them, Jules lifted her head and glowered at the man before her; no longer frightened or anxious despite the height difference of over a foot.

"Maybe that was true once but not anymore!"

"Bullshit. Jax still loves you and would take you back in a heartbeat."

"I'm not his to 'take back', Opie!"

It was with an open mouth that Opie stood, watching Jules carefully and refusing to retaliate when she shoved him forcefully away from her and into his bike; knocking it slightly. He did not attempt to restrain her again. Her eyes, now wild with fury, bore into him and she cursed him out with undeniable venom.

"You can put a ring on that finger all you want but it doesn't change the fact that you're still Jax's Old Lady."

With a screech of frustration, Jules stomped her feet and turned her back on Opie. Retreating, she stormed off but did not get much further before a great rumble stopped her in her tracks. The sound of the three engines made the ground shake and the noise vibrated through Jules' bones. Clay led the trio and behind him Jules spotted Bobby's long, flowing, frizzy curls and Jax's unmistakable sunshine blonde hair. They reached her instantly. Yanking off his own set of black shades, Clay tilted his head briefly before smiling widely and greeting the young woman.

"Jules."

"Oh, don't you start too!" she admonished, pointing at Clay and rushing off before he had a chance to stop her.

"Care to share, Ope?" Clay asked, looking to him for answers.

"Ask Chibs." He replied with a shrug. "Wait, shit! Jax! Don't!"

An empty black helmet lay abandoned on the floor beside Jax's motorcycle. Racing after Jules, he ignored the shouts of his best friend and chased down the woman; cutting her off and blocking her path. She was every bit as beautiful as he remembered. Her hair, a messy top knot, was still the same shade of caramel brown and it glowed in the sun light. He could still recall how it felt to run his fingers through it when they kissed and her lips, slightly chapped, he noticed, from dehydration, were still plump and tempting.

"Move!"

It was the first words she had spoken to Jax in eight months and it did not matter that the day before she had hid away rather than face him. Nor did she care that she was quite possibly making a scene; something herself and Jax were well known for during her time with SAMCRO. No, what had struck a nerve was Opie's declaration that she was still Jax's Old Lady and she knew, deep down, that he was right… and it angered her.

"Wait."

He grabbed her by the upper arm. The spark that ran through him made him feel as if he had been brought back to life; that she was his salvation and the key to his resurrection. Contact was lost almost within an instant. Jerking her arm back away from Jax, Jules raised her hand and slapped him across his stubble-laden cheek. It was a shock. Before he had time to react, Jax was stopped by the interference of Opie, who had grabbed his best-friend by the shoulders, and Clay and Bobby, who stood back and watched the drama unfold.

"What the hell was that about?" Bobby asked with curiosity.

The four men looked on as Jules walked away; her feet moving at a feverish pace as she escaped them. The crest-fallen expression on Jax's face was all-consuming as Opie whispered to him.

"Just give her time."

"Well." Clay started, glee lining his voice. "Gemma is going to love this."

* * *

"Jesus Christ, Jules! What the hell were you thinking?" David shouted, his face turning red as he called her out on her earlier behaviour. "I said go for a walk, not fraternise with the goddamn enemy!"

"I was not fraternising!"

"No… you were hanging about with your ex-boyfriend and his criminal friends! Have you learned nothing since you left Charming?"

"Of course I have!" Jules shouted, still raging from her interactions with Opie and Jax that afternoon. "Don't treat me like a child!"

"Then don't at like one!" he fired back, turning his back on Jules and taking purposeful deep breaths to try and calm his anger. "All I'm saying is that we've been back less than two days and you're already running back to them. You told me you wanted a fresh start, to get away from them and all the hurt they cause, and yet the way you're acting makes me think differently."

"No." Jules started, still unable to quench her fury despite the rational arguments her fiancé presented her. "I think what you meant to say is I'm running back to Jax. Which isn't true! If I wanted to be with Jax then I would be, but I don't. However, Opie is right. They are – were- my family and those feelings aren't just going to disappear overnight. So give me some time to figure things out before you start accusing me of running off!"

She did not stick around to hear his reply. She left the room quickly and yanked open the front door to their shared home. The sun had only just set so the sky was slowly turning from a glowing orange to a sheet of pale blue and off-white that led into a deepening indigo in the distance. The heat had reached a comfortable level and a small breeze dominated the air. All around, families were beginning to retreat for the evening but they were not what had caught Jules' attention. Stood across the road, leaning against his motorcycle, his SAMCRO leather cut missing from his body, was Jax; a cigarette hanging from his lips. His eyes locked with hers and Jules prayed that David would not follow her out onto the porch.

Neither one of them moved. Finally, her mood was beginning to diminish and the events of the day had left her tired and emotionally drained. The last thing she wanted was to be sucked back into Jax's vortex and if truth be told, she did not trust herself to remain faithful to her future husband. They continued to gaze at one another until eventually, after flicking his half-finished cigarette to the ground and stubbing it out with the heel of his boots, Jax stood to his full height and began moving towards her. She fled instinctively. No longer fuelled by the madness induced courage of the afternoon, Jules dreaded any confrontation they may have so she ran. She ran until her lungs burned and cried out in agony; until her thighs were limp with the effort of moving so fast. It was only when she stopped, the sky now ever darkening, and hid in an alleyway, did she sneak a peek and check that Jax was not following her. To her relief, he was nowhere in sight but a new sinking feeling overtook her. She was alone. She had ran away without even a thought of where to go to for support and it was as she pondered this further that it dawned on her that she had isolated herself from those who knew her best. In the past, she had always turned to Gemma or Jax in times of need. Now, she had no-one. Her gut told her to go to Gemma but she knew how hurt David would be if she did. But everything had changed. Everything she thought she knew about why she was so anxious about returning to Charming had turned out to be false. The family she had grown up with weren't trying to harm her. The only obstacle to her happiness was her past with Jax. So why shouldn't she reach out and reconnect?

Determined, Jules checked one last time that Jax had disappeared and when she was satisfied, she briskly walked in the direction of the Teller matriarch's house. The door was open before she had even step one foot on the bottom of the stone pathway and there Gemma stood; arms folded and tapping one foot impatiently. Behind her, a glow of light filled the room and Jules could hear Clay's hoarse laugh and the grimace worn on the older woman's face was telling.

"I'm sorry."

"It's about time." Came Gemma's simple reply.

It was the most natural thing in the world, and there were no second thoughts as Jules bounded towards Gemma and let the woman wrap her arms around her and embrace her in a hug. It was overflowing with love but the underlying tones of hurt were still present.

"Where the hell have you been?" Gemma rebuked, hugging Jules even tighter.

"I don't know what to do."

Breaking her embrace, Gemma stretched out her arms and held Jules away so she could appraise her. She still looked like the woman she had raised from a teenager, but her demeanour was different; cautious and broken where she had once been feisty and fearless.

"You should have brought your ass back home to me the moment you got back into town. Screw David. This is your home, baby."

"I've messed everything up." Jules choked out; hanging her head. "I never should have come back"

"You never should have left." Gemma fired back, forcibly lifting Jules' chin so she had no choice but to look at her. "It isn't easy being in this life..." she paused. "But it's okay to still love him."

A stray tear fell down the younger woman's cheek and she allowed Gemma to hold her once more before pulling away from her; hating the pain she saw flash in the eyes of the woman who helped raise her and the ache it caused in her chest. Wiping away the moisture from her eyes and cheeks, Jules cleared her throat and forced a smile.

"Tell Clay I'm sorry for shouting at him."

"It ain't nothing he's not used to, honey."

Nodding at Gemma's reply, she said her goodbyes and turned her back on the woman. Her feet feeling heavy as she dragged them down the pathway, she did not stop when she heard Gemma address her one last time for the night.

"Come see me tomorrow. I'll be at the car lot."

It was as she returned, sweaty and breathless, her head pounding incessantly from stress, that Jules noticed Jax's bike. There he was. Still waiting for her.


	5. Chapter 5

_His scent still clung to her skin. She could smell him every time she breathed in and every time she did so, she felt sick to her stomach with guilt. It was what she had wanted… at the time. But now, as the sky began to faintly turn from pitch black to a charcoal grey, rain clouds covering the early morning sky, she detested how weak she had become. Oh it had felt good. To be touched by a man who had never been unfaithful to her was a novelty she had long since experienced with Jax. The cost of this, however, was her life for she surely knew that the moment Jax found out about her infidelity he would kill her. It did not matter about his own many indiscretions. She had betrayed him in the worst possible way._

"I think it's about time we talked, don't you?"

She stayed quiet. Her heart was thumping out so rapidly that her chest ached. Though, whether she ached from fear or longing she wasn't so sure. Choosing to take the safer option, Jules ignored Jax and walked past him. Her feet had no sooner touched the set of steps that led to the porch of her home that Jax grabbed at her and wrapped his fingers around her slender wrist. His touch sent sparks through her veins and her whole body shook involuntarily. Her breathing slowed to an almost stop and she knew that Jax would notice the effect he had on her. Indeed, as soon as she turned her head she saw the smug smile that adorned his glorious face.

She let her eyes fall the hand that clasped her wrist and his gaze followed hers. As if in sync, they both looked back up again and for a split second, Jules wanted nothing more than to feel his lips on hers. To experience the rush that pulsated throughout her body every single time Jax had taken her into his bed. It was like an addiction and she craved it with every atom that lived inside of her.

"Stop running away from me."

Her eyes darted around as her brain finally kicked into gear and she remembered that she had left her fiancé at home after their fight. When she noticed that his squad car was no longer parked out front, she let out a visible sigh of relief but her body still refused to relax.

"It's okay. He's not here."

"I'm getting married, Jax." Jules eventually said, still frozen to the spot.

"I know." Jax replied as he made no attempt to hide the disdain in his voice. "Hale took great joy in reminding me when you ran away. Warned me to stay away from you too… but that ain't going to happen, darlin'."

"You need to leave."

"Not until you tell me why you left and why the hell you're marrying that asshole when you should have been marrying me."

"I don't recall you ever asking me."

"You never gave me the chance!" his voice rose, yanking Jules closer towards him until their chests were only centimetres from touching.

"I caught you fucking another woman! Do you honestly think I would have said yes even if you had asked me?"

"You know why I did that."

"Yeah, yeah. For the club. Blah blah blah. I know! But you know what, Jax? That wasn't the first time you cheated on me and I'm pretty sure that if I had stuck around and married you, it wouldn't have been the last either!"

"I would never hurt you like that!"

"You already did, Jax!" screamed Jules through gritted teeth as she yanked her wrist from Jax's hand and shoved him off the side-walk. "And I didn't run away. You drove me away!"

Storming off, Jules ran up the steps to her front door and scowled at her neighbours as they snuck a peek at her through their curtains; their obvious nosiness annoying her. She slammed the door shut and locked it behind her. Jax waited only a moment before impulsively surging forward and chasing after her; his fists hammering on the door. He cursed at the same neighbours who spied on himself and Jules and when his shouting was unsuccessful, he let his head rest against the warm wood as he spoke softly but clearly; confident that Jules would be close by and listening.

"I'm sorry, okay? I fucked up. Losing you - Jesus, Jules. It broke me. I can't just stand here and watch you marry that prick. The Club is your family. You belong with us – with me. Please, just open the door and let me in."

Inside the house, Jules sat with her back against the door. The house was dark and the emptiness screamed out silently, leaving a sense of eeriness about the place. She listened as Jax pleaded with her; her heart aching so badly she felt like she had been punched repeatedly in the chest. The events of the whole day had exhausted her. It had taken her only twelve hours to almost destroy the new life she had built for herself, and she laughed hysterically at the wreck that lay before her. Quickly, her laughter turned to tears and they spilled over without her consent as she let out a pained shriek.

"Jules!" Jax shouted, banging his fist once again on the door as he began to panic. "Open the damn door! Jules!"

Stuffing her hand into her mouth, Jules bit down on the flesh and bones of her knuckles and winced as they dug agonizingly into the fragile skin. Unable to stand the physical pain, she instead surrendered herself to the emotional anguish battering her and used her now throbbing hand to wipe away the tears that had wet her cheeks.

"Please!"

Against her better judgement, Jules rose and unlocked the door. The second the lock clicked open and she turned the handle, Jax rushed in and banged it firmly shut; once again locking it and with doing so, locked out the world.

"Bloody hell." He muttered as he took in the sight of Jules; her face puffy and red with slumping shoulder and a tangled mess of hair.

Instinctively, he pulled her in close and sheathed her with his arms. He held her for a long moment before pulling back and moving his hands to her face; both of them cupping her cheeks as his thumbs softly rubbed away some stray tears. He lifted her face so she had no choice but to lock eyes with him and he forced himself not to kiss her.

"Look at the state of you. Just come back. Give me a chance to make this better."

Shaking her head, Jules replied. "I'm getting married."

"You don't have to. Listen, my mom, everybody, we will get over being pissed about you leaving. You didn't betray us and we would never hurt you. I will never hurt you again." He reiterated. "Do you love me?"

"It's not that simple, Jax."

"Do. You. Love. Me?"

"I'm marrying David." She whispered, still refusing to answer his question.

Frustrated by her snubbing of his question, Jax changed his tactics and leaned his forehead against hers. The smell of her skin, sun-kissed and fragrant from various lotions, was foreign to him and he wrinkled his nose at the unfamiliar scent. She was a shadow of the woman he was knew; flighty and reserved. Gone was her spark and he was determined to reignite it.

"Do you love him?"

"What?" Jules questioned; eyebrows furrowing at the sudden change.

"You heard me. Do you love him?" he repeated, afraid of the answer.

"Of course I do. I'm marrying him."

Ignoring the sharp stab in his chest, Jax persisted and swallowed down the degrading self-pity that threatened to over-run him.

"Do you love him as much as you love me?"

"That's not fair, Jax."

"Does he make you laugh like I did? Does he make you smile in the same way? Does he even fuck you like I used to? You remember it. The way you used to scream my name. How we used to fuck so hard neither of us could move for hours. Does he do that to you, Jules?"

The pink blush that had crept onto Jules' face consumed her cheeks and she shied away from his gaze. Her throat felt dry and she croaked out a response that was barely loud enough for Jax to hear.

"We haven't-" she cleared her throat. "Me and David. We haven't… I told him I wanted to wait."

"You haven't fucked him?" said Jax; remiss in hiding his disbelief and smug joy.

"No. I-"

"When was the last time you slept with someone, Jules?"

"That's none of your business." She admonished him, ripping his hands off her face and backing away from him; guilt forming in the pit of her stomach. "You need to leave, Jax."

"I'm not going anywhere without you."

"This is David's home! People talk and he's going to be furious when he realises that you were in here! Leave!"

"If you want me to go then why did you let me in?"

"I don't know."

"Bull shit."

He intruded on her personal space, backing her into a corner where her elbow knocked into a vase of flowers she had placed there the day before; a gift from her soon-to-be husband. The memory of David was omnipresent but her brain struggled to remain focused as Jax invaded all of her senses. The carnal expression that radiated from Jax's blue eyes made her feel heady and weak and as he cradled the back of her slender neck in the cusp of his calloused hand, she found herself completely captivated by him.

"You can't kiss me, Jax. It's not right." She stated, knowing the man so well that she could guess his sinful intentions.

"The hell it isn't."

With no care to the consequences, Jax pressed his mouth against Jules' and responded with a grin when she instantly puckered her lips and returned his kiss; tangling the fingers of both hands into his shoulder-length blonde hair and pulling with insatiable desire. She reacted on instinct and it sent electric sparks straight to Jax's groin, igniting his libido and urging him on as pushed his body flush against that of his former lover. Through his white t-shirt he could feel the swell of her breasts and his free hand gripped her hip bone to keep her in place. Their mouths moved together perfectly and as her body heated up – skin burning, knees weakening, her eyes closing in pleasure as Jax moved his lips to the sensitive skin of her neck – she threw out a hand against the wall to steady herself and accidently knocked the vase to the floor. The subsequent crash and splash of water that began to seep across the wooden floor and into the rug caught their attention. Breaking apart, Jules wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and knelt down to assess the damage.

"Jules, just leave it."

"No." she whispered, now carefully scraping the broken pieces of vase together into a pile whilst avoiding looking at Jax.

"It's not important."

"Of course you wouldn't think it's important! Why didn't you just leave when I asked you to?"

"Stop. You're going to hurt yourself." Jax urged, before kneeling down and securing Jules' wrists as he stopped her from frantically cleaning up the mess. "Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset. I'm pissed. You had no right to kiss me."

"You kissed me back."

"That's my mistake and I hope to God David never finds out."

Hurt by her concern for the Deputy of Charming's police force, Jax frowned and let Jules' wrists fall from his clutches. He stood quickly and peered down at Jules whilst she continued to squat over the now soaking wet floor and disarrayed flower stems. His mouth opened to speak but he quickly changed his mind and left. With a bang, the door shut behind him and Jules winced as the sound bounced off the darkened hallway. She collapsed fully the ground and leaned her head against the wall. Her lips still tingled.

Brushing off specks of water from her bare legs, she collected a brush and paper towels from the kitchen. In the darkness, she cleaned until the mess was non-existent and silently prayed that David would not question the absence of the flowers. Returning the brush and throwing the sopping wet bundle of paper towels away, she searched for things to occupy her hands and brain. Her entire body hummed with sexual frustration and she despised how, even an hour after Jax had left, she was still yearning for him. Climbing the stairs, she soon reached the master bedroom and discarded herself of her clothes; leaving the sweaty items in a crumpled pile at the foot of the bed. Completely naked, she crawled under the thin cotton covers, rolled onto her stomach and punched the cold pillow as she used it to muffle her screams.

Sometime later, when midnight had come and gone and David had still not returned, Jules gave up counting the imaginary sheep in her head and succumbed to the desire that still flowed throughout her body. She knew that the smart thing was to walk away from Jax but he was like quicksand. So with thoughts of him in her head, she dipped her hand below the sheets and trailed it down her body until it came to rest between her legs. The initial relief was instant but the reprieve did not last. As she touched herself, her fingers flicking across her sensitive parts at an almost furious pace whilst her free hand massaged her breasts, she felt her level of frustration peak to an unbearable level. Yet, no matter what she did she could not get the release she was so desperate for. Giving up with a reluctant huff, she clambered out of bed and strode to the bathroom. The shower head sprung to life and she stood under it; shivering at the frosty temperature of the water. When she cooled her lust to an amount she surmised she could deal with, Jules turned to knob until warm water began to pour over her. She ceased her shower only when she noticed the glow of a sunrise sneaking through the frosted window pane. A new day was upon her. It was a chance of a new start but she had only one thing on her mind.

* * *

"How did you do it, Gemma?"

Shutting the middle compartment of the filing cabinet, Gemma returned to her full height and, using it as a support, she took off her glasses as she threw the coffee-coloured folder onto a pile that was overflowing on the desk that took up one half of the small office. On the same desk, Jules sat perched on the edge sipping a mug of tea despite the relentless summer temperatures.

"Listen, baby. I was just a kid when I met Jax's dad. I was young and in love and I never questioned anything because I would do anything to please that man. The Club became my family and when my Thomas died…" she petered off. "The Club protects one another and we make sacrifices for them. We give up parts of ourselves and the things we want but in return, we become so much more. Who cares if they get a little flirty with the occasional whore? It's us they always come back to."

Shaking her head, Jules let her eyes drop to the floor and sighed. "I don't think I can do that… I never could, Gemma. I couldn't be what Jax needed me to be. I needed loyalty and trust and he was never capable of that."

"Is that why you're marrying Hale? Because you think you can trust him?"

"I know I can." Jules started, lifting her gaze to meet Gemma's as she fingered a curled up piece of paper that lay next to her on the desk. "But I'm not sure if he can trust me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." She responded when Gemma eyed her with curiosity; pushing away the memory of her night-time indiscretion with Jax.

"Honey, you may not have been born into this life but it's in your blood. When you turned up on my doorstep – a ratty, skinny looking thing – you were just a kid…"

"I was fourteen." Jules argued back.

"You were a kid." Stated Gemma, in a matter of fact manner. "And I took you in and raised you like my own daughter. You're better at this life than you think… You only lose your head when it comes to Jax."

"I wish I had never fallen in love with him. I tried so hard not to."

"We don't get to choose in this life who we fall for. I loved John but I fell for your father so hard."

With a pensive stare, she hummed neither in agreement nor disagreement. She contemplated Gemma's words briefly then stopped. Her thoughts suddenly turning to her mother.

"You know, I never knew my mom was a crow-eater until just before she died. When she told me about Clay… I was so angry. I grew up thinking my father didn't want me when he never even knew I existed. I was so mad at her for a long time. Even after she died." She paused as Gemma silently encouraged her to go on. "But now, I totally get it. I understand why she hid this stuff from me. She wanted a normal life away from the violence and the lies. I wish I was as strong as her."

Striding over to where Jules was sat, Gemma clasped the young woman's chin in her hand and forced her to look her dead in the eye. She spoke with certainty and authority and it was her intention to ensure that Jules returned to the Teller-Morrow fold.

"You listen here and you listen good. Your mom was weak. She wasn't made for this life but you are. You never faltered. You never failed us. You got your heart broken and my son is a goddamn idiot for ever having done those shitty things to you. It takes strength to keep this family together and that's what you do; you help to hold us all together. So stop being ridiculous and come home."

"That's the thing, Gemma. I don't think I can. I miss you guys so much. I thought being away from you guys was hard but the last two days have been the worst. Being so close to everyone… it made me miss you even more and I don't know how to be with David and be with the Club."

"Then screw him. He isn't one of us." She scoffed; anger lining her tone.

"It's not just him. Gem, if I came back I would go back to Jax. I know I would."

"Would that really be such a bad thing?" she asked with a gentle stroke of her hair. "He did a bad thing but he did it for a good reason."

With a snort, Jules rolled her eyes and stood; her weight displacing some of the files that were piled on the desk.

"Please don't defend him."

"I'm not. But Jax made a hard choice. Sometimes we have to make hard choices whether we want to or not."

"Oh yeah. It must have been so hard for him fucking her in our bed. Looked like he really hated it." Sarcasm dripped from her. "Jax had a choice and he chose her."

"He chose the club." Corrected Gemma softly.

"Either way, he didn't choose me."

Whatever Gemma intended on saying next went unsaid as the door burst open and in walked Clay. His tall, broad stature made his presence in the tiny office even more evident and he filled the space with his beaming smile when he noticed Jules standing in front of his wife. Locking eyes with Clay, Jules noticed how he had changed very little in the time she had been away. His hair was still thick and a white-ish grey; his face still handsome despite the ever-growing wrinkles.

"Jules. What are you doing here?" He asked, pulling the woman in for a bear hug.

"Hey, Clay."

Holding her at arm's length so he could properly observe her, Clay ignored the irking feeling that always arose when Jules spoke his name. He had long since accepted, in the ten years since she had come into his life, that she would never call him 'dad' but her habit of not doing so left him stung. As did the closer bond she shared with Gemma.

"I just came for a chat." Replied Jules, not wanting to discuss her relationship with Jax; knowing that Clay would never understand her conflicted feelings towards her place within SAMCRO's familial circle.

"You should have told me you were coming. Does Hale know you're here?"

She did not miss the utter contempt that lined Clay's voice when he mentioned David or how Gemma scowled when speaking of Jules' fiancé.

"No. He's pissed about Jax being at the house last night." She admitted without thinking.

Clay's risen eyebrows and smug smile led to a laugh that escaped Jules' mouth; her first since moving back to Charming. Tutting, she rolled her eyes at the old man and folded her arms defensively.

"It's not what you think."

"Uh huh."

"Seriously, Clay. Stop smiling at me like that."

"Like what? I'm just smiling." He said innocently; a booming laugh coming from him as Gemma discreetly elbowed him playfully.

Once again rolling her eyes, Jules swallowed down her frustration at Clay and tried hard not to let the guilt show on her face. A movement to the left of her caught her attention and when she looked, she saw Jax standing there. His face immediately split into a dazzling smile that caused her heart to flutter and her breath caught in her throat. The two former lovers stared at one another before Clay loudly cleared his throat and Gemma's voice broke the spell.

"Need something, baby?" she directed towards her son; still carefully watching both Jax and Jules.

"No, Mom." He answered back without looking at her; his focus remaining trained on Jules as he moved further into the already crowded room and blocked the exit.

From her position, Gemma slyly judged the behaviour of the two people she had raised. She saw the blush that crept into Jules' cheeks until her face took on a pinkish tinge. She saw how the woman averted her eyes and gawked at a spot of dirt on the floor. When she flitted her attention to her son, it was obvious from his close proximity and wandering eyes that he was longing to touch her. Yes, Gemma was a smart woman and when it came to her children she was a wise one too.

"Son?" Clay prompted when Jax offered up no explanation for his sudden appearance.

Finally tearing himself away from the woman he loved, Jax immediately switched into business mode and remembered why he had sought out his step-father and President to begin with.

"Bobby had a tip off from Unser that the warehouse is going to be raided. Unser's going to try and buy us some time but we need to haul ass and get the guns moved before the cops find them and all our asses end up in jail. I've already got the guys ready to go."

With a huge sigh, Clay rubbed his face. "Okay. I'm coming. This is the last thing we need. The Mayans won't be happy with us postponing this afternoon's drop off."

Agreeing, Jax listened to the man then turned to Jules again. The look of apprehension in her green eyes and the soft, temporary wrinkles of her furrowed forehead made a ball of guilt take root inside of him. Wanting to lessen her worry, he reacted as he always did in the past whenever Jules became anxious when he left for a dangerous job.

His palm curling around the nape of her neck, he planted a chaste kiss of her lips and said the words he always spoke. "Be back soon, darlin'."

"You better." She answered, with an automatic return of the kiss, completing their ritual.

Once he had left, Clay rounded on his daughter whilst Gemma stood beside him, one hand on her hip and a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"So nothing's going on, huh?"

"I need to go home."

She made for the exit but was blocked by Clay side-stepping in front of her. She was much smaller than her father and she felt like a child about to receive a telling off. From her position, she could see the various members of the club all mounted on their bikes and ready to leave at Clay's command. She knew they would be growing impatient and she was responsible for holding up the day's illegal activities.

"Don't even start, okay?" she snapped, pre-empting his speech. "I have no idea what's going on with me and Jax. I've been back three days and already I'm practically cheating on my fiancé and getting sucked into this crazy mess! I can't be here!"

Ducking under Clay's arm and past his side, Jules ran from the office and sent up a silent thank you when she heard Gemma tell him to let her go. She slowed as she reached the gang of men but kept a quick walking pace, now desperate to be out of the Lot and back home where she could ponder her fate with a clearer mind.

The smell of gas and oil assaulted her nostrils and the voices of the men mingled together so that she caught only snippets of their conversations. Passing them, she stopped suddenly and headed over to Opie who stared at her with pity as he ceased his conversation with Jax. She could feel Jax's eyes bearing into her but she ignored him. She was raw from wanting him and exhausted from her conflicting emotions.

"Make sure he comes back alive."

"I'll do my best." He promised, placing a friendly kiss on her head.

When they eventually rode off, Jules watching them go like a wife waiting for her absent husband to return from sea and the roar of the engines becoming ever quieter in the distance, a strange silence settled over the Lot and she waited before leaving; the memory of the Jax's accident two years before swirling in her mind.

 _"You couldn't handle me if I came with a user manual."_

 _"Is that a challenge?" Jax smirked whilst twisting a piece of Jules' hair between his index finger and thum_ b.

 _"Just a friendly piece of advice." She fired back, removing his hand from her hair._

 _"Jax, seriously. Stop flirting with your sister. Even for me, it's a little kinky." Yelled Tigs whose eyes bulged when Jax flipped him off and leant in to kiss Jules on the lips._

 _When she turned her head and he was given only her cheek to kiss, he gave her a peck anyway and mounted his bike whilst strapping on his helmet._

 _"Be back soon, darlin'."_

 _"You better."_

 _It was dark when they returned to the Club House. Their mood was sombre and their faces twisted with worry and exhaustion. They were covered in dirt and it fell from their clothes as they tracked through the communal room and bar where Gemma and Jules were sat deep in conversation. When the two women noticed the arrival of their friends, their smiles instantly evaporated and Gemma stood slowly; using the edge of_ _the bar for support. She saw the bleeding cut above Bobby's left eye, the split lip and swollen jaw that Clay was sporting and the developing black eye that sat prominently upon Tigs' face. What she did not see, as she cradled Clay's face in her hands, was her son._

 _"Oh, baby. What happened?" Gemma choked._

 _"Ambush. They didn't get away with much though. We can take the hit." Clay answered, his voice gruff as he hugged his wife._

 _"Bobby…" Jules began, hardly fazed by the injuries she saw as she had seen much worse over her years with the Club. "Where's Jax?"_

 _"About Jax…" started Bobby._

 _"Where is he?" Jules repeated, more urgently this time as she ignored the soothing expression in Bobby's voice; recognising it as the same one he used when he accidentally ran over her cat when she was fifteen._

 _Hobbling in, Jax hissed under his breath with every movement he made. For an instant, everyone was frozen. The man before them was not the same one who had left a few hours previously. His blonde hair was matted and face and hands were covered in various cuts and scrapes; some lined his stubble laden jaw whilst others trailed up his lower arms. He used his left arm to clutch the right side of his torso and the pain was evident on his face. Rushing to him, Jules flung her arms around Jax and pulled back guiltily when he winced and cursed loudly._

 _"Ow! Damn it!"_

 _"What is it?" she interrogated him._

 _"Nothing. Just a few cracked ribs. I fell pretty hard and they got some good kicks in. I'll be okay."_

 _His hand tenderly grazed her cheek but she wrenched it away and bounded off without saying a word to anyone. Pushing away his mother and brushing off her concerns for his well-being as she tried to hug him, Jax limped off and followed Jules. Reaching the doorway to the room he kept at the Club House, he leaned against it and cocked his head to the side. With a smile, he watched Jules as she stood with her back to him but his smile soon faded when he heard her sniffle._

 _"Hey, what's wrong?"_

 _When she turned, her eyes were red and swollen. She advanced on Jax and slapped him square across the face as she as she was within touching distance. Shocked by the unexpected violence, Jax bolted upright and grabbed his ribs when the sudden movement sent a shot of pain through him and caused his ribs to throb._

 _"Don't you ever do that again! Do you hear me? If you turn up here in this state again I'll strangle you! You could have died!" Her voice cracked._

 _"It's okay. I'm okay."_

 _"No you're not! Jesus, Jax. I mean it. I will kill you myself if you ever do something stupid like that again! You can't just go around shrugging this shit off like it's nothing!"_

 _"Why are you so mad at me?" he asked, completely confused by her over-reaction to his injuries._

 _"I'm mad at you because I love you!"_

 _Their breaths came out in heavy bursts and the only other sounds were the distant muffled voices of their friends and family members. Smirking in spite of the agony he is was, Jax grabbed Jules' hand, entwining his fingers with hers, and pulled her in close._

 _"Well it's about damn time."_

The sound of a car honking interrupted her trip down memory lane. Jules felt disorientated as she struggled to bring herself fully back into the present moment. Blinking, she forced her eyes to focus and when she felt confident that she could make it back home, she heard Gemma address her; now stood only a few feet away from her.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh. Reminiscing." She answered honestly.

"He'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

Tilting her head and fingering a loose piece of hair that had fallen across Jules' cheek. Gemma tutted and then smiled.

"Because, baby, now he has a reason to be."


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting alone in the coffee shop, Jules cradled the steaming cup of chamomile tea that had been brought to her by a waitress even younger than she was. It smelled bland and looked weak. Jules disliked the flavour but nevertheless took a sip. The beverage reminded her of her mother; a woman who religiously drank the tea every day of her life and had always insisted that Jules do so whenever the young woman was worried as a child. The habit was ingrained deep within her and taking another mouthful, she swallowed the scalding liquid before abandoning what was left in the cup and leaning back against the wooden backrest of the coffee shop's uniform chair. From her position, she had a clear view of the bustling world outside but her focus was solely on the diamond engagement ring that was heavy on her finger.

The conflict which raged inside of her was all-consuming. Every logical part of her mind told Jules that she would be foolish to forgive Jax. His words were just that – words. Actions always spoke louder and Jax had proven, time and time again, that he was incapable of being faithful; that whatever semblance of love he claimed to feel towards her wasn't of enough value to him not to break her trust. Grazing the pad of her thumb over the smooth diamond, Jules marvelled at its beauty and felt grateful for the presence of David in her life. He had rescued her at a time when her life was spiralling into dissent and had brought stability to it. She would forever be thankful to him for his love and understanding… but could she really marry him, she wondered.

Pushing the almost empty cup away from her and standing, the chair legs screeching against the tiles of the coffee shop floor, Jules left a small tip for the waitress and exited the building. The heat hit her straight away and it took only a couple of minutes, as she walked leisurely back home, for her skin to become sheeted in a film of perspiration. She was glad of the cool air when she finally entered her home and as she chugged down a glass of water, she heard the front door open and close and David shout her name.

"Jules?"

"In the kitchen." She shouted back, wiping away the water droplets that clung to her lips with the back of her hand.

When she saw him she stopped breathing. The doleful look he gave her was brief. She could almost see the inner workings of his brain coming to the realisation that he was exuding desperation and sorrow, and she saw his face tighten and the look replaced with a hardened apathetic expression. It hurt her to see the barrier he had begun to build around his heart.

"I didn't expect you to be here."

"Of course I'm going to be here. Where else would I be."

"I don't think you want me to answer that." He snapped, grabbing the paper bag with his lunch in it from the refrigerator and brushing past Jules without so much as even grazing her skin.

With a huge sigh, Jules let her eyes fall and she stared at the glass on the counter. "This is about Jax."

"You let that man into my house. You had no right to do that. He's a criminal; a low-life who gets joy out of killing people and fucking any desperate woman that will have him. You should know better than anyone that he's a lying, cheating scum bag who prays on the weak, and you allowed him in here. I'm the laughing stock of the station!"

Heating up at David's insinuation, Jules gripped the edge of the counter top tightly until her knuckles began to pale and she forced herself to take a couple of deep, calming breaths before slowly responding; each word leaving her mouth with a deliberate carefulness.

"You don't need to remind me what Jax is capable of. Like you said, I know him better than anyone and I know how unreliable he can be. I'm sorry you're upset but me and Jax had unfinished business. It's done now… but Gemma, Clay… they're my family whether you like it or not. I'm not getting involved in that life but I'm not going to abandon my family. If you still want to marry me then good, but I won't be used as a spy or a rat or a bargaining chip to get one over on SAMCRO."

"I'm not asking you to be! I'm asking you to be my goddamn wife and to keep those people out of my house."

The two stared silently at one another, neither wanting to relent, until David huffed loudly. The bag in his hand crinkled as he squeezed it and with a beaten tone to his voice, he gently kissed his fiancé's cheek as he bid her farewell.

"I'll be back for dinner."

The door closed with a quiet click and once more, Jules was alone in the empty house.

At a loss for what to do with the remainder of her day and wanting to avoid to the creeping anxiety that threatened to consume her as she remembered about the raid that was to happen on SAMCRO's warehouse, Jules filled a bucket with hot, soapy water, grabbed a cleaning brush from under the sink, and set to work on obsessively scrubbing the kitchen floor clean. The scalding water pruned the tips of her fingers and turned her skin red raw. Still, she cleaned. The menial chore helped to empty her brain and when she was finished – knees sore, hair damp with sweat, and chest aching with the effort of breathing – she emptied away the grey-coloured water and plonked herself down on the sofa. A short peruse through the television channels proved pointless and unfulfilling. The ticking of the clock hands grated on her and for the first time in a long time, she regretted the peaceful life she had committed herself to.

Spotting a stray bridal magazine that she had purchased the day before her return to Charming, Jules thumbed through the pictures of the smiling model brides; their hair and make-up perfect; their dresses crisp and white; their glowing faces depicting a level of happiness she wondered if she would ever feel. Her eyes feeling heavy, Jules set down the magazine and curled her body into a ball on the sofa. She slept fitfully; dreams and memories mixing together until they blurred into an unrecognisable entity and she awoke startled. A knock at the door proved to be the cause of her sudden awakening and still groggy, she pulled herself to her feet and shuffled to the door. On the other side stood Opie. His face was shiny with sweat and patches of dust and dirt; as were his jeans and hands. With one hand on the frame of the door, Jules greeted Opie but did not move to welcome him in.

"What are you doing here, Opie? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. We got all the shit moved and Clay's re-arranging the drop off with the Mayans for tonight."

She sensed his hesitation and with a sigh she prompted him. "I know you didn't come all the way over here just to tell me that."

` "Jax told me what happened last night." He continued even when Jules refused to meet his eye line. "He almost got himself into a fight with Hale when they turned up to search the warehouse. He's been reckless ever since you left but now you're back, he's worse."

"Is he okay?"

"Me and Chibs held him back. Nothing but a pissing match to be honest."

"But...?"

"But he's convinced he can win you back and honestly, I don't think he's going to stop until he does. He doesn't care who's standing in his way."

Feeling over-whelmed, Jules shook her head repeatedly and then rubbed her temples. "He's crazy."

"Crazy or not, he loves you and that kind of love doesn't just die."

She watched him go; his back getting ever further away and it was as he mounted his motorcycle that she finally shouted to him.

"Ope!" She paused before running down the porch and pathway and stopping next to him. "Thank you for keeping him safe."

Opie nodded and placed a friendly kiss on Jules' cheek. The roar of his engine vibrated in the air as it came alive and Jules looked on as the motorcycle disappeared down the road and out of her sight. No longer sleepy, she turned on her heel and retreated back into the house. Her anxiety now gone, she searched the refrigerator for ingredients and set to work on preparing dinner as she waited for David to come home.

* * *

The clock chimed out signalling the beginning of a new hour. Her eyes flitting to the clock, Jules noted down the hour as being six in the evening and she let out a sigh of disappointment. In front of her, on the neatly laid table, sat two plates of spicy chicken pasta that were quickly cooling. There was no sign of her fiancé's return and as the minutes ticked by, she became increasingly annoyed. Stabbing the screen of her phone, she dialled David's number and after three rings she heard him say hello.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Dinner's been ready for half an hour, David. When are you coming home?"

"I'm sorry. I'm buried under paper work and then the guys want to go for a few beers."

The tension between them was palpable and Jules suspected that David was trying to avoid her. Although it was her instinct to confront him, she could not completely blame him for his actions and so, forcing her voice into a happier sounding pitch, she ignored the irking thoughts inside her head and instructed him to relax and have fun.

"That's okay. I'll put dinner in the fridge. You can just heat it up when you get home. Have fun."

"Thanks." The line was quiet. "Jules?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Carefully, she wrapped David's untouched dinner in plastic wrap and placed it in the fridge. She ate her own, it's texture now chewy and tepid, without really tasting it and when she was left with nothing but an empty plate, she silently washed the single plate and fork and placed them on the draining board to dry. Drying her hands with a dish towel, she dawdled for a minute before grabbing her sandals from the hallway and locking the house up.

Her feet hit the pavement with purpose and it wasn't long before she reached the Teller-Morrow auto garage. The gate was still unlocked and she could see plenty of people – friends, family, crow-eaters – milling about outside the door to the Club house. People came and went with rambunctious laughter as they basked in the evening air's warm glow and the dying light from the sun. She could see Clay with his arms wrapped around Gemma as they shared a joke and a loving kiss and Jules smiled; this was the family she remembered.

Strolling through the yard, she made a beeline for Gemma and hugged her tightly. "Hey, Gemma."

"Hey, baby." Gemma whispered, letting Jules go as Clay went to embrace his only daughter. "What are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you back here today."

"Having a party?"

"It's Tigs' birthday."

"Oh shit. Is that today? I totally forgot."

"Eh, Tigs will get over it." Clay said dismissively. "We should be celebrating your return anyway. Come and have a drink."

"No thanks, Clay. One drink with you guys is never just one drink." Jules smirked and rolled her eyes. "Besides, I came to see Jax. He in there?"

"I think so." Gemma replied, chugging down the remainder of her beer.

Choosing not to pay attention to the grins on Clay and Gemma's faces, Jules kissed her father on the cheek and let herself into the Club house. The large, communal bar room was packed with bodies and the heat that exuded from them encumbered the room. The noise was deafening as music blared and drinks orders were shouted. More than once, somebody bumped into her but she could not hear their weak apologies. Half-Sack, she noticed, was red and flustered as he manned the bar alone. Feeling sorry for him, she made for his direction but was distracted when a pair of hands grabbed at her hips from behind. The smell of alcohol on his breath was potent. The scruff on his jaw was coarse as it rubbed against her cheek and neck but the sound of his voice, echoing decadently down her ear made her tingle and panic.

"Hey, darlin."

"Jax."

"You smell good."

"You're drunk." Jules stated simply.

"And you're beautiful."

Tutting at him, Jules swivelled on the spot but still found herself with Jax's arm wrapped around her waist. Curling her fingers around the neck of the beer bottle in his free hand, she tried to grab it from him only for Jax to pull her so flush against his body that she could feel how much he physically wanted her.

"I think you've had enough, Jax. Give me the bottle."

Lifting the bottle for her reach, Jax smiled down at Jules and swayed slightly. Leaning down, he nipped her earlobe with his teeth and chuckled at the visible shake Jules gave of her whole body. He felt her tremble and he bit down on her ear again, this time harder.

"Not here, Jax." Was all Jules could mutter.

Pushing her forward through the throngs of people, Jax never took his eyes off hers. His intentions were so carnal and obvious. Even his fellow brothers moved out of his way when they saw them coming; the heat between them steaming up the atmosphere. The alcohol impaired his reasoning but Jax did not care about logic or reason or even morality. He was filled with lust and his only goal was to get Jules back into his bed; to keep her from being the one who got away.

She wasn't sure whether it was the unrelenting tension she had had with David for the last few days, or the familiarity of Jax's touch, or even the fact that she had been excruciatingly aroused since Jax had kissed her, but Jules let him lead her away. Against her better judgement, she went willingly into the room that her former lover had usually occupied at the Club House. She watched him gulp down the remainder of the beer and drop the empty bottle to the floor. With a soft thud it landed and Jax flashed her a wickedly sinful smile. He cradled her softly as he tilted his head and pushed her back towards the bed that stood against the far wall; all the while tracing kisses up and down her neck and collarbone.

Her back hit the crumpled sheets of the bed before she had even completely registered where they were. The weight and heat of Jax's body on hers was overpowering all of her thoughts and as he pulled his t-shirt off over his head, she caught a glimpse of his chest; still strong and toned just as it had always been in the years she had known him. His tongue invaded her mouth and she kissed him back feverishly. Her own hands searched his body and popping open the button to his jeans, she undid the zip and began to pull them down.

"Just this once, Jax."

"Mhmmm."

"I'm still getting married." She reaffirmed; pulling Jax's jeans down past his backside and allowing him to kick them off.

She felt him fish his hand underneath the hem of her dress, as she kicked off her sandals, and tug at her panties until they tore. Jules let out a yelp at the bite of the tearing lace and the sudden rush of air between her legs. Almost instantly, it was replaced with the warmth of Jax's body as he settled himself back between the crux of her thighs.

"Ummm, Jax?" Jules mumbled between kisses.

"What?"

"Condom?"

"Aren't you on birth control?" he questioned, still hazy with alcohol and lust, and his hand now pushing Jules' dress up past her waist.

"Jax, please." She insisted, her own desires reaching a frustrating level.

With great reluctance, he forced himself off of Jules and yanked open the drawer to the bed-side table. The box of condoms he kept in the drawer was still there, though now bare from emptiness, and Jax cursed himself out when he remembered his previous sexual encounter with the crow-eater just a few days before and his carelessness at not replacing the product.

"What is it?" he heard his lover question as she raised herself onto her elbows.

The whole experience was beginning to sober him up and he missed the carefree buzz that had been running through his veins only moments ago. He remained quiet for a second as he weighed up his options. He could ask one of his fellow brothers for help but he knew that the longer they waited, the higher the risk Jules would change her mind and go home to her fiancé.

Running his hand through his hair, he groaned with defeat. "I don't have any…I ran out."

"I'm not even going to ask how you managed that." Jules sniped.

"Hey, don't get pissed at me for using condoms. Would you rather I fuck women without them?"

"I'd rather you didn't fuck women at all." She muttered under her breath; though not low enough for Jax to miss.

Still naked and hovering over her, Jax shook his head and swallowed down the angry retort that was on his lips when he realised that the women beneath him, in spite of their troublesome history, the engagement ring on her finger, or the lack of protection, had made no attempt to leave yet. Forcing her back down through his readjusting between her legs, he tangled his fingers into her brunette hair and kissed her tenderly.

"Jules… shut the hell up."

With one motion, so swift and effortless from years of practice, he was inside of her and the gasp of pleasure she gave matched his own. He wanted so much to savour the experience, not sure he would ever get the chance to again, but it had been so long since they had connected in this way that his instincts over-ruled his mind and he worked hard and quick to satisfy their urges. Whenever his body threatened to throw him over the precipice, he found the willpower to hold back; Jules' moans and the way she dug her sharp nails into his bottom providing him with the incentive he needed.

"Jax… stop."

"What's wrong?" he asked, breath heavy in her ear as he as he continued to grind his hips and elicited a deep groan of feral pleasure from the woman beneath him.

"God – I – It feels… I don't want to… Not yet. It's too good. Slow down."

"I can't." he replied truthfully, burying his face into the crook of her neck; feeling her get tighter around him.

She was unable to speak again. The only sound that left Jules' mouth was the soft whimper that seemed to fill the room as she came undone around him. The sensitivity she felt was further heightened when Jax sought after his own selfish relief and spilled himself deep inside of her.

Laying beneath him, Jules gave herself a short amount of time to catch her breath and as her heart rate began to slow down, she pulled Jax's hand from her cheek and pushed him off of her. She walked silently to the bathroom, even when he called her name, and once she had emptied her bladder and cleaned her thighs, she ran her fingers roughly through her hair and took a minute to observe herself in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were bright; the kind of brightness you only get from doing something that ignites your soul. Her hair, neat and straight when she left her house, was now tangled and frizzy and her skin tingled with satisfaction.

"Stop it."

Jax stood behind her. In the mirror she could see his reflection; leaning lazily against the frame of the door now dressed in just his jeans. His own blonde hair was dishevelled and she could see the angry red lines down the sides of his arms where she had scratched him during their passionate encounter. His face, however, was a canvas of juxtaposing emotions. The sadness deep-set in his eyes was at war with the playful smirk that tugged at his mouth and Jules found it easier to look at him through the mirror.

"Stop what?"

"Feeling guilty." he answered, moving closer into the bathroom. "You have no reason to be."

"I have every reason to be. I'm no better than you, Jax."

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth." She argued back. "I know how it feels to be betrayed and I've just done the same thing to David. He doesn't deserve this."

"If you feel so bad about it, then why did you come here? Why did you climb into bed with me?"

Jax's voice was rising quickly and he forced Jules to turn around and look at him.

"I don't know, Jax."

"That's a lie and you know it."

With a shake of her head, Jules stormed past her lover and grabbed her sandals from where they had been flung on the floor. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she slipped them on and tried to ignore Jax even as he advanced upon her.

"You shouldn't feel bad about what we did. We belong together."

"We're toxic together. You constantly cheat and I become the worst version of myself when I'm with you."

She sighed so deeply that her shoulders slumped and she rested her head in her hands for a long second. The noise from the party was spilling in and she was thankful that it somewhat prevented an awkward silence.

"It wouldn't be like it was before. I wouldn't do those things again."

"Jax, I think that you honestly believe that when you say it but I know you. It's only a matter of time before you start to break your promises and I can't take that chance."

"You can trust me." He argued back, now crouching in front of Jules and clasping her hands in his.

Taking one hand, he cupped her cheek and rubbed the soft skin with his thumb. He planted a kiss on her lips just as the door creaked open and Piney popped his head around the frame. The instant his eyes spotted Jules, he flung open the door and greeted her with a loud cheer; his rosy cheeks an obvious sign of his drunken merriment.

"Hey, trouble!"

Rushing to her, Piney knocked Jax out of the way and pulled the young woman into a bear hug and only released her when she began to gasp for air. Grateful for the expansion her lungs were now able to experience, Jules beamed at the old man and smoothed out her hair.

"Hey, Piney."

"Where have you been hiding, kid?"

"I've been around."

"Looks like Jax here has been hiding you away." Piney replied, eyeing the young man as he pulled on his t-shirt and laced up his shoes.

Jules saw how the old man's eyes scrutinised the room; the crumpled bed sheets, her torn black underwear discarded haphazardly on the ground, the shameful blush that flamed her face. The knot of guilt in her stomach began to twist bitterly and she felt the bile rise in her throat. Piney's silent disapproval was deafening but whilst she fought back the guilt-induced vomit, Jax stood defiantly.

"Just spending time with my girl, old man."

"She's not your girl, Jax."

"I need to go." Jules squeaked, avoiding her illicit lover's arm as he reached out to stop her.

She did not hear the remainder of the two men's conversation. It was now just occurring to her that the entire population of the Club House would have witnessed her sneaking off with Jax. Their history was infamous and it would not take a genius to figure out that they had slept together. Her wanton ways made her despise herself and as she surged through the wall of bodies – flipping off those who cursed her for shoving them without apology – her head spun and tears spilled down her cheeks.

Feet barely over the entrance, Jules heaved until her lungs burned and her throat turned dry; her stomach remained full and with it, the guilt continued to fester. Her veins pulsated with panic and she felt the urge to run and lock herself away in a darkened room. The faces of strangers surrounded her and side-eyed her with precarious glances. No-one asked after her well-being and she was grateful for it. When she was sure that she would not vomit, she rose to her full height and leaned against the brick wall. It was itchy and rough on her exposed skin and her hands were damp from wiping away the salty tears. Her breaths were laboured but after a few moments, she seemed calm and collected enough to make the walk of shame home to David.

"Be careful what you're doing, kid."

The gruff voice stirred her from her self-pity and righteous indignation. Lighting a cigarette, Piney took a place next to her and stared straight ahead; focusing on something insignificant in the distance that Jules seemed not to register. She eyed him suspiciously but came to the conclusion that he had no ulterior motive.

"What am I doing, Piney?"

"Fucking up."

"Excuse me?" She blurted out; shocked by the man's bluntness and judgemental attitude.

"You heard me. I love that boy but he's a damn mess. Until he grows his ass up he's never going to be the man you need him to be."

"I know."

"Do you?" he sighed, putting out his cigarette with the heel of his boot. "You're better than the rest of us. You deserve better than to whore yourself out like this."

"Piney…"

"Just listen to me. I love Jax like he's my own goddamn son and if Opie had done the things Jax has done to you, I would kick the shit out of him… but I've spent years watching you ruin yourself for him. For all of us. Be better than this."

Leaving her with his parting words, Piney walked slowly away. Jules did not stop him but she did shout after him; questioning his wisdom with her own poisoned thoughts.

"What if I'm not better? What if – what if, even with all the bad, I'm still meant to be with him?"

The old man paused. "I don't believe in fate."

 **review?**


	7. Chapter 7

**I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!**

"Do you ever think we should stop doing this?"

"Why would we stop?"

"Because this is wrong, Jax." Said Jules, her breath catching as Jax snuck his hand up her short, pink ruffled skirt and continued to kiss the sweet spot on her neck.

They were hidden away in the small office attached to the Teller-Morrow automotive garage. The blinds were shut, the door was locked and without the air-conditioning, the room was stuffy and droplets of sweat formed where their skin made contact. The last eighteen days had been a blur. Every forbidden interaction was burned into her mind; the secret meetings in the Club House, the stolen kisses in secluded alley ways, the night David had worked late again at the station and Jax had snuck in through the back door and they made love on her sofa, in her bed, and in the shower. Every memory was stuck to her like indelible ink and they branded her a scarlet woman. No matter how many times she said it was the last time, there was always another. Jax was always there to pull her back into his web.

"It's not wrong. Does this feel wrong to you?" He emphasised his point by crushing his thumb against her most sensitive spot and smirking at the reluctant moan he pulled from her lips.

"No but-"

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." Jax interrupted her.

It was difficult to think for Jules. The intensity of their physical connection constantly left her feeling blind-sided and never quite satisfied. She craved it like a dying man craved life and no lecture on morality and loyalty could make her do otherwise; even the empathy she felt for her oblivious fiancé wasn't strong enough to prevent her from falling for Jax's charm.

"You have all the power here, Jules. Just tell me to stop."

She let him assault her neck and lips with sultry kisses. Her fingers pulled on the roots of his blonde hair and the hiss that escaped him sent a surge of electricity straight between her thighs. She wanted him badly and she would be damned of the consequences.

"Do you want to stop?" Jax further probed.

"Not right now." She answered truthfully.

An impatient knock at the door put an abrupt end to their escapades and Jules pushed Jax off of her when he made no attempt to move. The look of hurt he threw her did not go unnoticed as she fixed her skirt and crinkled shirt.

"Don't look at me like that."

"They're not stupid. They know we're fucking. Maybe you shouldn't feel so ashamed of it… or is it me you're ashamed of?"

The rapping on the door grated on her already frayed nerves and when she did not

give him an answer immediately, Jules watched her lover hold his hands up in defeat and wrench open the door with a grimace on his beautiful face. The silhouette of her step-mother came into focus but she gave no attention to her as she called out.

"Jax!" she shouted, rushing after him in a hurry. "Jax!"

This time he stopped, now half way across the yard, and turned to stalk back towards where she was stood; with his mother hovering close by. He was angry and wounded. He felt cheap and used and his whole body burned with the need to be accepted by her.

"What?!"

"Jax…" Jules whispered, unable to speak any further as her eyes began to well with tears.

"Tell me what the hell you want from me!"

Her muteness aggravated him further and although he felt a pang of guilt for causing her distress, he was unable to stop himself as he spat out his pain.

"It's simple, Jules. You either want me or you want Hale. I'm sick of being your sloppy seconds. Except, you're not even fucking him, are you? I want more than for you to just open your legs for me every time we're alone! Decide what the hell it is you want. Until then, stay the fuck away from me."

"That's enough, Jackson." Gemma scolded her son.

"It's fine, Gemma." Jules insisted, wiping away the tears with the heel of her hand and coughing to clear the lump in her throat.

"He's not wrong, though. You can't have them both."

Jules kept her back to her step-mother. She silently acknowledged her opinion but ignored her as she pulled out her phone and sent a quick text. Without a goodbye, she left the garage and rushed home. She reached the house barely five minutes before David did and when he walked in, his body tense and voice lined with panic, she headed straight for him and cut him off with an urgent kiss.

"What's wrong? You said it was an emergency." David questioned; his hands and eyes frantically searching for any sign of injury or accident to his fiancé.

"It is an emergency." She breathed; already making quick work of disposing him of his brown tie and beginning to unbutton his shirt.

"What are you doing?"

"You."

With her mouth now back on his, David wanted nothing more than to give in to his sexual urges. He had dreamed of it for so long but the timing was all wrong. With great struggle, he pushed Jules away and held her at arm's length. His breathing was ragged and his head felt dizzy, and his cursed himself for stopping her even though he knew it was the right thing to do.

"Don't take this the wrong way…" he gulped; trying not to pay attention to his fiance's pert breasts or long legs revealed underneath her skirt. "I thought you wanted to wait."

"I changed my mind."

"I can see that. Listen, Jules, you can't call me off work for something like this. As much as I don't want to go back, I have to. This can wait until tonight… when we can do it properly."

Rejection seeping into her bones, she nodded her head in agreement and faked a smile when David kissed her cheek, told her he loved her, and fixed his uniform back to its former pristine condition. When the door shut and she was left alone, Jules stood for so long that her back began to ache and isolation set in. She had no-one, she realised, that she could turn to. David was at work and her entire life had been SAMCRO for so many years that every friend and relationship she had was tied to them.

She wanted someone to vent to. She wanted to hate herself a little less. She wanted Jax inside of her.

* * *

"You're paying a small price compared with what she's going through."

Jax was lying on a trolley, on the ground underneath a customer's car, when he heard Opie address him. Wrench in hand, he tightened a screw and failed miserably at drowning out the voice of his best-friend.

"It's the universe punishing you."

"Opie, what the fuck are you talking about?" Jax shouted from under the car.

He could see the scuffed, dirty boots his best-friend wore whenever he turned his head to the left, and he could hear the tinkering of tools as Opie worked to repair the engine; the sound dimming each time he spoke to Jax.

"You want her to choose you but she spent years wanting you to do the same thing while you screwed around with every girl who flashed you a smile. You can't expect her to come running back just because you say you're ready to commit to her."

"I don't expect her to do anything."

"Yes, you do. You always expected her to be there and stay by your side every single time you fucked up. You're asking her to give up any chance at a normal life and a marriage to someone who can her things you can't, and you can't even be assed to prove to her that you won't mess up again."

"I already told her I wouldn't cheat on her."

"Jax, you told her that for two years and you still kept screwing around."

"I mean it this time." He said with a grunt as he emerged from under the car and stood to his full height.

"Then you're going to have to find a way to prove it to her."

"How the hell do I do that?" Jax argued, cleaning dirt from the wrench and wiping down his greasy hands.

"I don't know…" Opie pondered, avoiding his friend's gaze as he talked into the engine. "But if you give her one more fake apology I will personally make sure you never even get the chance to follow through."

His mouth a tight line, Jax was stoic as Opie stood and met his eyes; the two friends glaring at one another.

"I care about what happens to her, Jax. If you want her, then fight for her. But if you're going to fuck things up again then just leave her alone."

Slamming the hood of the car down, the noise echoing off the walls, Opie wiped his own grime-covered hands and unzipped his coveralls. Jax followed suit and soon the two men were closing up the garage for the day; securing the padlock and heading straight for the attached Club House. They sat at the bar, taking beers at will, and chugging them down with wild abandon as they talked of women, guns, and their childhood adventures. A little while had passed when a crow-eater, one Jax vaguely remembered having bedded a few times before, sauntered up to him and stroked his cheek. Her flame-red hair matched the polish on her nails and the lipstick on her lips. She sat herself down on his thigh and beamed as she propositioned him with a good time.

Being drunk, he laughed and revelled in the attention despite having no intentions of taking it further. Being drunk, he did not notice Jules enter the room and clock him immediately. Nor did he notice how she walked straight passed him, her face crest-fallen when she witnessed the embrace he was in. Being drunk, he failed to see Opie rise and abandon his seat next to Jax to go in search of Jules.

"Did you come for the scenery or is there something I can help you with?" Opie quipped with a smile, when he found Jules hidden away in the room he permanently lived in since his divorce from Donna six months previously.

Looking up from the picture frame in her hand, Jules replaced it on the stand and then sat down on the edge of the bed. With a guilty smile, she shrugged her shoulders in apology.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't be in here."

"It's okay," he replied truthfully, still standing in the doorway.

"I just couldn't bear to go in Jax's room… not when she's here." Jules spat the last four words. "I doubt he evens remembers that she's the first woman he cheated on me with."

"She is?" Opie asked, shocked that he did not know it.

Jules nodded. "He fucked her after we'd had an argument. I can't even remember what it was about… but seeing her here…I thought she'd left months ago."

Edging over to her, his feet shuffling along the floor, Opie sat on the bed and felt it dip further down beneath his weight. His stature filled the room and made Jules feel somewhat calmer than she had before.

"I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be in here offloading all my crap onto you."

"I've had years of practice between you and Jax." He answered with a quiet chuckle. "And it's okay that you're in here. I don't mind."

"No. This is your space. I just can't deal knowing he's slept with her in the same bed. I thought I was getting over it but obviously not." She paused. "I'm sorry about you and Donna."

Opie glanced over all the picture frame on the bedside table; the smiling faces of his ex-wife and two children beaming back at him. Sadness hit him like a sledge hammer but he pursed his lips and shrugged.

"It's okay. Shit happens."

"Was it because of-"

"No." The bearded man replied, avoiding Jules' stare. "We tried to make it work when I got out of prison but she just couldn't handle the life. She's not like you. She's not made for this."

A snort escaped from her mouth and Jules laughed dryly. "You think so, huh?"

"I know so." Said Opie, taking Jules' hand in his and giving it a quick squeeze.

"He wants me to choose him. I want him so badly but I know that he'll let me down again. He always does, Ope. It's why I left in the first place."

"I can't tell you what to do. I can't even make my own marriage work."

"Am I an idiot for wanting to believe him? Your dad thinks I am."

Releasing her hand, Opie shifted his body so he was facing her better. He could hear footsteps approaching; heavy and thudding on the wooden floors as they got closer to the open door of his room.

"You're not an idiot. Just hopeful."

Jax's voice drifted down the hallway and Jules froze. The blood rushed around her body and her heart pounded viciously in her chest.

"Ope?"

"In here."

He came into sight almost immediately; cheek red from smiling and laughing too hard, and a large consumption of beer. He was alone, Jules saw straight away, and she breathed a sigh of relief she saw how Jax's smile vanished. The jealousy in his eyes was as clear as day and it confused both Opie and Jules immensely.

"So now you're in Opie's bed?"

"Oh grow up, Jax." She huffed, rolling her eyes.

"No, by all means, fuck my best-friend."

"Hey, man. Stop." Opie started, standing and holding his hands up defensively as he purposefully stood between the two volatile lovers.

"I am literally fully clothed! You can see that. Don't be such an ass."

The way his body swayed on the spot was further evidence of his intoxication. But the liquor only fuelled his delusions and anger; anger that came from a place of hurt and fear of rejection.

"Yet here you are. With Opie!"

"Talking about you!" Jules screamed back over Opie's shoulder. "You're the one who was flirting with that damn whore when I got here. You didn't even see me come in you were that focused on her!"

"The crow-eater? That bitch means nothing."

"How many times have I heard that, Jax?!"

"Not this again." He said with great exasperation.

Sensing that things were about to get much worse, Opie forcibly started pushing his best-friend from the room. He had seen one too many arguments between Jax and Jules even before they had ever been romantically involved, and they were explosive to a harmful degree. He was certain that they would hurt one another if he did not diffuse the situation.

"Jax, you need to leave. Go home. Sleep it off."

"Get off me, Opie."

"Seriously, Jax. Just stop. You're drunk. You know there's nothing going on between me and her. I have your back, okay? Just go home now."

In spite of his rage, Jax listened to his most trusted friend and left. He paid neither of them a goodbye and he turned his back on his lover after a long stare. Once they were alone, Jules let out a frustrated cry and was thankful when the door was closed to stop anyone from hearing it.

"You can stay here tonight."

"No. I have to go home to David." She answered, brushing hair from her face.

"Jules, you need to take some time and think about things on your own. Jax is right. You need to decide what you want whether it's Jax, Hale, or neither of them, but you can't do that if you're always running off to be with one of them."

"If I don't go home then he's going to get suspicious and how on earth do I tell him that I've been sleeping with Jax? No. I need to go home. I can think better away from here."

He made no attempt to stop her as she rushed past him. She smiled politely but did not stop for small talk when Chibs approached her as she walked across the court yard. It was almost seven in the evening and she knew that David would soon return from work.

When she eventually reached the house, she saw his squad car already parked outside. The light to dining room was on and a soft glow emanated through the almost completely shut curtains. Walking in, she heard music playing; quiet and mellow and she followed it to the kitchen where the man who was due to marry was stood over the stove cursing at the boiling pot of pasta as the water spit at him.

"Jules!" He exclaimed upon noticing her presence.

"I went for a walk." She explained, accepting his brief kiss. "You're back early."

"I wanted to surprise you. Make things perfect."

The sincerity in his voice moved her and Jules turned away so that he would not see how her eyes welled up with guilty tears. His love for her was blatant and her stomach twisted into knots as she remembered once more her inability to stay faithful to him. Was that how Jax felt, she wondered, every time he had cheated on her? An amalgamation of self-loathing, weakness, and love for the person they have wronged? Wiping away the moisture in her eyes, she turned back to David and shuffled in front of him; taking the fork from his hands and stirring the pasta.

"It's going to burn." She said, lifting it from the stove and turning off the heat.

Apologising, David did the same with the pan of creamy sauce and the two worked together in a comfortable silence as they drained and served the food. Jules allowed David to pour her a glass of chilled white wine and when they sat at the dining table, lighted candles between, Jules thanked him for the meal and slowly picked at her food. It smelled and looked delicious but her appetite had dwindled into nothing.

"Is everything okay?"

"Just the heat." She pushed her full plate away from her. "I really appreciate the effort though. Thank you."

Putting down his own fork, David wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin before collecting the dishes and leaving them on the kitchen counter-top. He returned with the half-empty bottle of wine and filled Jules' glass. He sipped at his own wine whilst the woman across from him drank her in just a few mouthful; a loud gulping sound accompanying each one.

"Thirsty?" David questioned, with a concerned raise of his eyebrows.

Jules simply nodded so he continued to speak.

"Are you sure that you're okay? The last three weeks… I've tried to give you space. Spend time with your family. Let you deal with all your unresolved feelings for SAMCRO. You just seem… I don't know… conflicted."

Jules thought for a moment; David's choice of words to describe her situation were perfect. The battle that raged on between her heart and mind was all-consuming and only now was she realising how obvious it was becoming to those around her.

"Guess I'm just still adjusting that's all." She swallowed the dregs of wine. "Let's go to bed."


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello my lovelies. Sorry for the wait. Work, studying, and a baby don't make for much time to write. I hope you all enjoy this. I'd love to know what you think.**

It was 2am when Jules woke. She did not sit bolt up or roll fitfully about in bed. She just awoke; eyes wide open and brain running on full power. She lay deathly still in the darkened room. The only sound she could hear was the gentle snoring of the man next to her. She turned her head and focused hard to make out his silhouette. Their night together had been enjoyable. Their foray into pre-marital sex had been more pleasurable than Jules had imagined; he was thoughtful and attentive and although she did not orgasm, she had still found it fun and could imagine that in time they would improve and be able to gain mutual satisfaction. She should be happy and sated, she knew, but her mind and body were restless and her brain bombarded her with thoughts of those she had left behind at the SAMCRO club house.

Poking David in the face, she watched him squirm and roll on to his side. His snoring continued and she knew for sure that he would sleep until his early morning alarm. Carefully, she snuck out of bed and creeped down the stairs. Not bothering to change out of her black cotton vest and bed shorts, she shoved her feet into a pair of pumps, grabbed her keys, and quietly locked the door behind her as she left. The streets were empty and the only light offered up was from the lamps that adorned the pavement edges. The air held a slight chill but Jules soon warmed up as she walked briskly in the direction of the Club House. She ignored the queasy sensation in her stomach and forged ahead, reaching her destination in less time than she had anticipated. Sweat had started to form on her skin and she felt dizzy and clammy as she walked through the entrance of the building; the door scraping against the wall and catching the attention of the few who were still awake at such an hour.

When Chibs saw her - hair clinging to her neck and shoulders, face flushed, and swaying on her feet – he immediately put down the glass of whiskey he had been sipping at. He had been deep in conversation with Clay when he had caught sight of her and he stood to his full height almost instantly when he noticed the ashen tone her face had begun to take on.

"Lass, what's wrong?"

Now realising that his daughter was in the main room of the Club House, Clay swivelled in his seat and grimaced at the sight of her; one hand clutching the archway's frame and whilst the other was lay over her chest as she struggled for breath.

"Jules, are you okay? What the hell are you doing here at this time?" Clay boomed.

Waving away the concerns of both men, Jules lay her head against the wood of the frame and took a breath to steady her racing heart; regretting the extra wine she had with dinner as a headache began to form and her stomach churned even more.

"Where's Jax?"

"He's at home. Drunk and half-dead to the world." Replied Clay.

Feeling frustrated, Jules huffed angrily. She stalled for a minute before storming to the bar and finishing Chibs' drink in one mouthful. Coughing at the burn in her throat, she flipped the two older men off when she heard them laughing at her.

"You've been gone too long, little girl." Chibs smirked.

"Time was my daughter could drink any man here under the table. Now look at her, coughing up a lung at a bit of whiskey."

"Give me time." Jules snapped, taking the bottle from the bar top and taking a long gulp even though it made her eyes sting and her insides heat up.

Walking away with the bottle, Jules slumped herself down into one of the chairs and crossed her legs as she hugged the bottle possessively. Her words came out as incoherent mumbles at first but as she took another mouthful of whiskey, her voice became louder and clearer and she vented her frustrations out loud.

"What is it with the men in this place? None of you are capable of just actually apologising for the shit that you do. It's always someone else's fault. There's always some reason to justify what you did and I'm goddamn sick of it!"

She spat her words out with an intense fury and washed them down with another long gulp of the amber-coloured liquid.

"I wish I could hurt him like he hurt me. I wish people would stop defending him."

Standing with a weary sigh, Clay marched over to his only daughter and snatched the bottle from her hands; rubbing his temples when she tried to take it back and shouting when she failed to do so.

"You're cut off."

"Screw you." Jules moped, flopping back in the chair. "This is all your fault anyway."

"What the hell did I do?"

"Everything! You brought me into this life! You made Jax think that it's okay to cheat on me. You always put the Club first! You never ever think about what all your shit has done to me! You never even called Jax out for breaking my heart and you're meant to be my dad!"

With great restraint, Clay walked away from his daughter; leaving her slumped and crying as Chibs stood by silently to one side. He placed the now almost empty bottle on the wooden counter of the bar and resisted the urge to point out Jules' own immoral and hurtful actions over the years. Finally turning back to face her, he saw her green eyes wide with petulance and a wildness that concerned him. He spoke softly but firmly and gave the young woman no opportunity to interrupt him.

"If you didn't want to be here then you wouldn't be here. Stop making this harder than it needs to be and stop hurting yourself. You already know what you want."

Kissing Jules on the cheek, he nodded at Chibs and instructed him to ensure she returned home safely. With Clay gone, Jules sat in a reluctant silence as she contemplated her father's advice. He had to be wrong, she thought to herself. She had not made a choice regarding where her future lay. How had she?

"Come on. I need to get you home."

"No." Jules said, shaking her head which only made the room spin even more.

"Clay will kill me if anything happens to you. You know that." Chibs urged further.

"I'm staying here." She slurred. "I'll sleep in Jax's room."

"What about Hale?" asked Chibs as he watched Jules rise to her feet and stumble forward; his wrinkles deepening when he frowned at her.

"That's a problem for the morning. Just go home, Chibs. I don't need a babysitter."

"Jules."

"Opie's still here, right? I'll be fine."

She waved him off as she turned her back to him; dismissing his arguments and shuffling loudly down the hallway as she searched in the dark for the room she knew would be vacant. When she reached the door she paused. Turning back, she walked the short distance to two rooms further up the other end of the hallway and tapped softly on the door before pushing it open. It creaked quietly and she expected to be greeted with darkness. Instead, a slow glow emanated from the bed-side lamp and she saw Opie lying sound asleep on top of crumpled bed-sheets; an open book strewn across his bare chest and his long hair sticking to his face in the humid temperature of the room. A pang vibrated through her chest as memories flooded her system and as she shut the door, she decided that her question could wait another day.

* * *

When Jax saw Jules asleep on the bed his heart leapt into his mouth. His head was pounding from the night before and when he saw her – her slender body tangled up in the sheets and her mouth half open as gentle snores escaped it – he yearned deeply to hold her and rectify the results of his drunken accusations. He wondered why she was there and not with her fiancé but rather than wake her and question it, he clicked the door shut and let her sleep.

"Did she really come to see me?" Jax quizzed Chibs as he returned to the bar room and sat on the stool next to him.

"That's what she said." Chibs replied, taking a mouthful of warm coffee. "Like I said, she was in a right state when she turned up here last night. I've never seen her that bad."

The two men were quiet for a minute or so when Jax finally cracked under the muted pressure of Chib's stare and unspoken curiosity.

"We had an argument."

"Don't you always? Just give her a break. She's hurting."

"So am I." Jax argued back.

"Do you want my advice, Jackie?" Chibs paused as he finished off his own cup of coffee. "The only way to fix this is to just be sorry. Lay all your shit out. She stuck with you through everything up until the moment you stopped being truly sorry for fucking up."

Jax was never given the opportunity to answer. Before he could, the door to the Club House opened with a loud screech and in walked David; dressed neatly in his deputy uniform and with a face like thunder as he shouted out Jax's name. He surged towards the blonde haired man as soon as he clocked him and on instinct, both Jax and Chibs rose. The older of the two wedged himself between them and he stared David directly in the eye.

"I don't think you want to start anything in here, Officer." Chibs spoke calmly yet with an air of no-nonsense about him.

"I just want to know where Jules is and I know he has something to do with it!"

"I have no idea where she is." Jax lied as he spoke over Chibs' shoulder.

"She wasn't there when I woke up and she isn't answering her phone. I know you know something."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. How is it my problem that you can't keep track of your own fiancé?"

Resisting the urge to punch Jax, David swallowed down his rage and squared his body to his full height. The worry in his voice was clear as he rubbed his tired face and reluctantly begged for help.

"I'm worried about her. She hasn't been herself lately. Just… let me know if she turns up."

Sitting back down, Jax leaned leisurely against the bar and although he knew had had great reason to feel smug, all he felt was empathy.

"From my experience, if Jules doesn't want to be found then you have no chance of finding her."

"I'm not you." David stated simply as he hoovered over the threshold. "I would never give her a reason to run away from me."

"No. You're not me." Jax muttered to himself as he watched his competition leave.

Sighing, Chibs flopped down on the stool next to Jax and rubbed at his temples as a headache began to form. To one side, movement caught his eye and he looked up to see Jules peeking around the edge of the archway that joined the hallway and main room. Her hair, though frizzy, was tucked behind her ears and half of her body was obscured from view by the black zip-up jacket she wore that he knew to be Jax's. Smiling, he silently urged Jules to join them and he purposefully cleared his throat to distract Jax from his private thoughts.

"What?" questioned Jax who turned to see Jules standing close to him when Chibs nodded in her direction.

"I came to see you last night."

"I know." He replied. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Since David arrived." She admitted, still keeping her distance.

"You're avoiding him."

It wasn't a question. It was a simple statement of fact. Jax knew the tell-tale signs because he had been on the receiving end of Jules' avoidance tactics more than once in his lifetime. For Jules, she pondered for a moment on how to reply to Jax's assumption. Stepping fully into the room, she walked up to him and stood defiantly close to him as she spoke with conviction. What she had to say, she knew would hurt the man before her, but she would say it anyway.

"I slept with him, Jax."

His mouth formed a line so tight that his lips almost disappeared completely, and he slammed his clenched up fist down hard on the wooden countertop of the bar. The wood vibrated with the force of his anger and the noise echoed as a loud boom off the walls, but Jules did not flinch or turn away. Still, even when she saw him slump forward and hunch his shoulders over in defeat, she knew that his control over his fury was fragile at best and so she spoke softly in an effort to calm him.

"I slept with the man I'm supposed to marry and yet I still came here to find you. I know what's good for me and you're not it. I love you, Jax. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I can trust you."

Rising, Jax grasped Jules' wrists in his hands and stared at her with desperation and need. "I learned from my mistakes. I won't ever hurt you like that again."

"I can't take that chance." She responded, pulling her hands free and turning her face away from him; her eyes flitting to the ground. "I'm not giving up on us being family but we can't be together. I'm sorry."

"So this is it? You're choosing Hale?! The very guy who's trying to bring us down!"

"I'm choosing what's best for me, Jax. I'm not abandoning the Club. I'm just not your 'old lady' anymore."

"I don't understand."

Feeling the heavy, constricting weight that had been with her since her return to Charming slowly dissipating with every word she said, Jules surged on and spoke with unwavering conviction.

"I realised that I keep coming back here not just for you, Jax, but because like you all said, you guys are my family. The Club is my home and I can't stand by and watch as people try to tear it all down. This happiest I've ever been was with SAMCRO but I'm not the same girl I was growing up here. You took pieces of me; pieces that I will never get back. You broke me and now it's up to me to find a way to fix it. Being with David isn't a part of you and neither is being with you."

For Jax, the pain in his chest was unbearable. His stomach dropped and he found it difficult to breath. Determined to remain a somewhat outward composure of calm, he nodded slowly and without speaking, before placing his back Jules, leaning over the counter and grabbing a half-full bottle of tequila. Standing fully, he raised the bottle in mock cheers.

"Fine." He said before twisting off the cap and swigging the liquor.

He backed out of sight even ignoring Chibs as the older man called after him. Jules did not hang her head but watched him like a hawk; a twinge of regret twisting in her stomach. Mentally stomping it down until it was flattened and abandoned, she met Chibs' gaze and frowned.

"He'll get over it."

"I don't think he will."

"It's for the best, Chibs."

"Is it?"

Glaring at him, Jules found herself standing taller than she had done in weeks. Her decision to repair what had been broken had renewed her; it had revitalised her energy and passion for her family. Self-preservation had kicked in and she was fixated on protecting herself.

"If Jax really wanted me then he never would have let me go in the first place. I thought you'd be happy. I'm back where I belong after all."

She left the room. Alone, she pushed her back against the wall of the hallway and let out a sob; her hand flying up and blocking out most of the sound as she was desperate not to be discovered. Even after all he had done to her, Jules still found herself grieving, once more, for the end of her relationship with Jax. Twice now she had walked away from him. It had taken all of her strength and it slowly dawned on her that this time there would be no escape from the fall out.

A rustle and a movement momentarily distracted her from her wallowing, and she quickly wiped at her reddening, wet eyes and cheeks only to see Opie staring back at her when she was done.

"What happened?" He asked, genuine concern written all over his face.

Her deep breathe, meant to relax her, came out shaky and she hated how her voice trembled. "I need your help."

 **Theories anyone? What do we think she might need help with? Why Opie? What do you think/want to happen next. Reviews are my muse :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello guys, Thanks so much for the reviews :) Not the longest chapter or most action packed but I wanted to get an update done and it's hard to find the time to write. Hope you all enjoy this.**

"Did you get it?" She asked; her voice a whisper even as it cracked on the last word.

"Are you sure about this?" Opie said quietly, handing the small, brown paper bag over to Jules.

Without looking at him, Jules nodded before clearing her throat and forcing herself to speak with confidence.

"Only one way to be sure."

It was still early enough in the day that Jules knew David wouldn't be home on his lunch break for a while yet. Still, she did not want to risk running into him before she had a chance to figure out what she was going to say to him. With her now new added complication, she feared it even more. So with crinkled bag in hand and a frown on her face, she paced feverishly with purpose towards Opie's room and closed the door behind her, forgetting to lock it in her haste.

Ten minutes later she emerged; her face red, her mouth in a tight line, and Gemma hot on her heels. She made a beeline straight for Opie in spite of him being in close conversation with Bobby, Chibs, and Tigs. Aware of Gemma's watchful eye, Jules tried her best to remain composed but still grabbed at her friend's arm and pulled him away urgently as she mumbled a quick apology to the group of older men.

"Sorry, guys, but I need him."

Dragging the taller man to one corner, she whispered as quietly as she could but forced herself to keep the panic from her voice as she knew that Gemma would not refrain from eavesdropping if she suspected that something was truly wrong. From the corner of her eye, she could see the silhouette of her step-mother gradually circumnavigating the differing members of SAMCRO and various crow-eaters and family members that had gathered together to mingle, and heading towards the empty space Jules and Opie were occupying.

"So?"

"We have a problem." she interrupted before he could add any more. "I dropped it."

"What do you mean you dropped it?"

"Gemma came into the bathroom and I dropped it."

"Where is it?" Opie asked, now staring at Gemma even as he spoke to Jules.

"I kicked it under the bathroom counter. I didn't know what else to do and now Gemma wants me to help out with the paperwork at the office." Jules began to ramble as she came undone. "I won't be able to go back and get it and I can't-"

Pulling the panicking woman into his arms, Opie hugged her tightly and shushed her. He had not broken eye contact with Gemma and he watched the Teller-Morrow clan matriarch stop and raise her eyebrows disapprovingly at him as she folded her arms and gave him a knowing look.

"Don't worry. I'll sort it. I promise."

"Opie."

"I've got this." Opie replied, kissing Jules' forehead tenderly and hugging her once more before leaving her in the corner and storming off across the room.

Jules looked on, biting at her nails despite knowing it would destroy her manicure, as Gemma started to follow him. Both, however, stopped when Opie heard Clay shout his name and beckon him. Standing rooted the spot, he turned to face his club president and enquired as to what he wanted.

"I need you to do a job for me."

"What job?"

"Go pay our favourite Police chief a visit and find out why he's avoiding us."

"Clay, wouldn't that be better coming from you?"

His voice firm and commanding, Clay replied. "Tigs, Bobby, and I are all going to see Alvarez about a shipment. Half-sack is manning the bar and Chibs is working in the garage. Juice isn't back from his mom's until tomorrow. Everybody is busy today so just do as I say, Ope. Oh, and take Jax with you. Where is he anyway?"

"Sulking." Gemma answered immediately; one hand now on her hip and the other rubbing at her temples as she felt a headache begin to form.

Instantly, Clay's eyes landed on his daughter and he watched with curiosity as Jules purposefully turned away from him and immediately volunteered to go collect the wayward man that was his step-son. As soon as he was convinced that Jules was out of earshot, he rounded on his wife.

"What am I missing?"

"Beats me."

"Woman, you know everything."

"Well I don't know this." Gemma spat, visibly annoyed.

Rolling his eyes, Opie spoke up just as Jax and Jules entered the room but with his back to them, he was unaware of their presence. "Jules called it quits with Jax, okay?"

"More like she chose Hale." Jax countered, separating himself from Jules almost immediately and walking away without looking at anyone in the room.

"I didn't choose him!" Jules shouted after him, already exhausted by the fallout. "I didn't." she reiterated when she noticed her father glaring at her.

"Are you still going to marry him?" he asked his daughter, his words coming out coated with anger and disbelief.

Without meaning to, Jules turned and shared a momentary look with Opie. Discussions had begun all around her and the buzz of noise that had erupted in the room was suddenly overwhelming. Questions were being shot at her and she struggled to clear her mind.

"I… don't know." She answered truthfully. "And before any of you start, none of you have any right to judge me for leaving Jax. So keep your noses out of my business."

"Your business is our business when you're marrying Hale." Clay argued with his daughter, advancing on her as some of the remaining members of the Club nodded their agreement whilst others stayed reluctantly silent; unwilling to take sides.

"Well here's a novel idea, Clay; try focusing more on your own life and less on mine!"

"Clay has a point." Tigs interjected. "He's hell bent on bringing us down and he wouldn't think twice on using you to screw us over."

The look Jules threw him made Tigs shut up immediately and he shrunk away from her as the venom from her eyes burned a hole in him and he made a conscious decision to hold his tongue. When she heard her father and step-mother begin to agree with him, she stopped them with a single shout and was so busy putting them to rights that she did not notice Opie leave her side.

"David would never do that and even if he did, I would like to think that you have enough confidence in me to know that I would never do anything to put you guys in danger. Me and Jax are done. Me and David... I don't know what we are but let me make this clear once and for all; the Club is my priority. Anyone tries to use me to hurt you and I will make them regret it. Now do me a favour and keep the hell out of my love life."

Begrudgingly, everyone agreed to Jules' simple request but even as she gained their statements of verification, it took just one look at each of their faces to know that they would all fail miserably at their promise. A hand on her lower back and she was pulled from her thoughts to see Opie stood next to her and gazing down into her eyes. He gave her a quick, subtle nod and she found herself unable to resist asking in spite of all those around her.

"Tell me." she whispered

"Not here." He mumbled into her ear as he kissed her goodbye on the cheek and walked away without another word.

The sharp ring of her phone pierced the room and she cancelled the call barely seconds later. She knew that David must have been going out of his mind with worry but she was unprepared for the conversation she knew she had to have with him. Too many times she had lied to him but now he deserved to know the truth about her infidelity. Still, she was not sure she had it in her to break another heart that day. Besides, she thought to herself as she ran after Opie, she had more pressing issues at that moment in time.

The sun hit her like a brick wall and blinded her so much that she was disorientated for too long. Kicking up a cloud of dust and gravel as the wheels of their motorcycles turned, she saw only the backs of the two most significant men in her life as they drove away. There she was abandoned; without answers and left to the clutches of Gemma.

* * *

Chaos was the only way to describe it. It seemed as if the population of the precinct had doubled in the space of day. All around them, unfamiliar faces, dressed in perfectly starched suits with badges that shined worn pridefully on their waists, rushed along shouting orders and replies at one another. The two men looked out of place with their own long, messy hair and SAMCRO leather Cuts but even in the presence of so many federal officers they did not panic or lose an ounce of confidence.

Sauntering over to Unser, having spotted the ageing man standing over the desk of one of his fellow officers and obviously deep in a worrying conversation judging by the stress lines that adorned his face and his hunched shoulders, Jax greeted him with a small smile and an inquisitive raise of his eyebrows.

Cutting his current conversation short, he ushered Opie and Jax into his office at the end of the hall and closed the blinds. He kept his voice low as the three of them each took a seat and his body sagged against the peeling leather of his chair.

"You guys can't be here."

"Clay's worried. You've been avoiding us. You're not telling us when raids are going down. We're barely making ends meet with all the running around we're doing just to make sure our stock isn't getting intersected by your guys."

"It's not my call, Jax. I've been trying to cover my ass for the last week! You have no idea of the shit-storm that's coming your way."

"Then tell us." Opie spoke up. "Who the hell are these guys?"

"FBI." sighed Unser, his head falling into his hands as he tried to rub away the tiredness from his eyes. "I turn a blind eye because overall, SAMCRO has been good for Charming but you guys have brought too much attention to yourselves over the last year. The warehouse blowing up last week was the last straw. I can't stop this, Jax."

"What the hell, Unser?" Jax yelled, rising to his feet and pacing anxiously. "A little head's up would have been nice."

"I couldn't tell you! I've barely had a moment to myself. They've been watching me like a hawk. I'm sorry but I can't protect the Club from this."

Standing too, Opie placed a hand on Jax's shoulder and told him to calm down. It had hardly passed early afternoon and already the day's events were enough to send them over the edge. For his best-friend and vice-president, Opie knew, it had been particularly tough and it showed in his strained jaw muscles and involuntary fisting of his hands.

"What are we meant to do?" Opie sensibly asked of Unser when Jax was silent.

"My advice? Lay low and keep your circle tight. The FBI are hellbent on taking SAMCRO down and they're going to do that any way they can. Make sure everyone is on the same page and keeps quiet."

"Easy. None of us are stupid enough to get caught out by a bunch of jumped up douche bags in bad suits." laughed Jax angrily.

"This is serious." hissed Unser. "They will go after any one even remotely associated with the Cub. No one is safe so you'd best be sure that you have no weak links or else we're all going down."

With grave faces, they left the Chief of Police to his own devices and ignored the stream of looks that were thrown their way as they journeyed through the precinct; ranging from curiosity to loathing.

"Clay's going to burst a blood vessel when he finds out about this." muttered Opie.

"Dude, relax. They have nothing on us. We're tight knit. We're good. Everything's going to be fine."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. You heard Unser. They could go after anyone. That includes our families, the crow eaters - anyone, Jax."

"Ope, there isn't a single soul that knows anything worth knowing about us that they could manipulate to turn us over. Stop worrying. Who could they possibly go after?"

Their answer came much sooner than either of them could have imagined when a tall, slender, blonde-haired woman crossed their path and cut them up. She eyed them with smug caution before turning left and heading into an open room. Before the door closed, they glimpsed the insides; a tiny room dotted with a couple of desks, a few chair and a wall covered in photos. Beneath the mug shots of both himself and Clay, Jax spotted a face that made his blood run cold with fear.

"Jules."

 **Review? Not sure where I'm going to go next with this but I always enjoy hearing your thoughts and predictions. What do we think is going on with Jules and Opie? What might Gemma be thinking? There have been a few things in the last few chapters that are little easter-eggs that are setting things up for way in the future too**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys. I hope you enjoy the new chapter and be sure to let me know what you think :)**

Jax heaved open the door of the Club house and rushed in. His feet bounced off the floor as he sought of Jules with desperate intent and when he eventually found her, sat hunched over the desk in the small office that was attached to the side of the Club house, he breathed a sigh of relief before his chest tightened involuntarily when he remembered that she no longer wanted him. Putting aside his own personal troubles, Jax closed the office door behind him and locked it; the sound of the lock clicking catching Jules' attention. As she looked up, he saw how, just for a moment, her face softened with affection before it was replaced with a mask of indifference and she went back to focusing on the pile of paperwork in front of her.

"What do you want, Jax?"

"I need to talk to you."

"I'm really busy." She said, gesturing to the papers in her hand before throwing them down on the desk when Jax made no attempt to leave.

"The Club is in trouble."

"The Club's always in trouble." Jules dismissed. "Listen, Jax, I really am busy and I don't have time to deal with this today. Whatever it is, you guys will sort it. You always do."

Advancing upon her, Jax placed both hands on the desk and leaned forward; frustrated at how the woman he loved seemed not to care or take him seriously.

"Not this time." He paused, his mind wandering to Opie and the mission he was on, before shaking away his stray thoughts. "Jules, you're in trouble."

"Me? What the hell do you mean?"

His explanation was brief but concise. He watched as Jules' face displayed a rollercoaster of emotions until finally settling on scepticism. The world outside the office seemed to be operating as normal but Jules found it hard to function. A sea of stress overwhelmed her and she slumped back in the leather chair. Her stomach churned and growled and she felt the bile rise up her throat.

"David would have told me." Was all that she could say.

"Really? That's your response?" snapped Jax, stung by the mention of the deputy chief's name.

"You don't understand. If what you're saying is true-"

"It is."

"-Then he lied to me. He hid this from me! He's letting them use me!"

The fury she felt was indescribable. She would have expected such betrayal and manipulation from any of SAMCRO, but never, not even in her wildest dreams, did she ever imagine that the man she was due to marry would be capable of such duplicity. It did not matter to her in that moment that she had been unfaithful to David. As bad as her treachery was, she was one hundred percent certain that his was worse.

"I told you he wasn't right for you." Jax replied, feeling somewhat vindicated in spite of how raw the wounds in his heart still felt.

"Oh piss off, Jax." Jules muttered, her chair screeching along the floor as she stood and headed towards the locked door. "I will not be a pawn. I'm fed up of people thinking they can just use me!"

Once unlocked, she yanked open the door and practically ran from the office. The sun was instantly hot on her skin and the warm air made it hard for her to breathe; her breath already ragged from anger. Jax trailed along after her and clasped her arm with his hand as he pulled her back and forced her to face him.

"Stop!"

"What the hell? Let go of me!"

"Jules, just listen to me and stop!" he pleaded with her. "No-one is going to use you. I'll make sure of it… but you need to be careful. If they think you're a way in to finding out how to bring us down, they're going to come down hard on you. They're going to do whatever it takes to get you to rat."

"I've never turned heel on the Club. I would never do anything to hurt you guys."

"I know that."

"Why would they even be interested in me? I'm nobody."

"Are you kidding me?" Jax yelled as an engine of an approaching car almost drowned him out. "You're not a 'nobody'. You're Clay's kid. You're my – You know all our secrets. You could single-handedly ruin us."

"They don't know that."

"Probably not. But they probably think you're a pushover and can use you to get to Clay. All I'm saying is to be careful. Don't speak to any of them."

"I'm not an idiot."

Spying Opie, Clay, and Bobby walking towards them, Jules pulled her arm from the grip of her former lover and tucked her hair behind her ears. Putting some distance between herself and Jax, she folded her arms and swallowed down the nerves that threatened to escape her mouth in the form of vomit. She barely registered the words that left the mouth of her father. When she assumed they had finished speaking, she tapped Opie on the arm and whispered quietly to him.

"Opie."

"Not now."

"Opie, please."

He shook his head in defiance and tried to block out Jules' begging and concentrate on the conversation that was taking place between the other members of SAMCRO that surrounded him. When he felt her tug on the arm of his shirt, he gave a defeated sigh and rubbed his temples.

"You don't need me to tell you what you already know."

It took longer than he thought but when he witnessed the realization dawn on her face, he knew that she had understood his cryptic reply. The colour drained from her face and she walked away from him without a single word. He considered going after her but thought better of it. He knew that, even being her friend, it was not his place to counsel her right now. His loyalty, Opie knew, lay with Jax at that moment and Jules would not appreciate the only piece of advice he would be willing to give her.

"What's wrong with her?" Clay asked Opie with a raise of his eyebrows as he finally noticed his daughter storming off.

"No idea."

Turning his attention back to his only child, Clay looked on as the young woman answered her phone only to immediately hang up and shove it back in her pocket. He could not see her face now but the expression she had worn after just a short conversation with Opie was already beginning to haunt him, but there were more pressing matters so he chose to leave her be for now.

"Something fishy is going on between you and her and I will find out what it is." Clay threatened, pointing his finger before cracking a tight smile and patting Opie on the shoulder. "Relax, Ope. If you truly have no idea then you have nothing to worry about."

* * *

"I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her."

She heard him as soon as she opened the door. The irritation in his voice carried through the rooms and she closed the door as quietly as possible; not wanting to alert him or his guest to her presence. Creeping up the stairs, she was careful to avoid the creaky third step and she slipped into the bedroom with ease. Vigilant, she snuck around gathering her most essential belongings and throwing them into a duffel bag. When she done, she stared sorrowfully at the room and mourned the life she could have had, had she been strong enough to sever her ties with the past. Picking up the bag, she acknowledged to herself just how little physical possessions she truly had of her own and headed towards the staircase.

"Fine then. Go ahead and marry her. See if I care!"

Stopping short, Jules held her breath and pushed herself flush against the corner wall that ended where the stairs began. From where she stood, she knew that David would be unable to see her but she had a somewhat unobstructed view of the hallway if she leaned forward just a few inches. Spotting a pin stripe suit and a mop of greying hair, Jules instantly recognised her fiancé's brother. David was rubbing temples as his brother's face flared red and his voice boomed so loudly it made Jules' ears ache.

"I will! She's not who you think she is. She's a good person!"

"She's trash! Complete and utter trash. She's Teller's whore!"

The silence that followed was deadly and she observed with great eagerness as David gripped the door handle so tightly that his whole body became stiff and his hand turned white. She could see the tick in his jaw as he struggled to contain himself and his speech came out controlled.

"You're my brother so I'm going to give you one chance to apologise for what you've just said. You have no idea what she's been through with SAMCRO. She's a good person and I love her."

Jules leaned back and stared at the striped cream and brown wallpaper that faced her. Guilt choked her up as she felt the sincerity of her fiancé's conviction. So wrapped up in her own guilt, she failed to hear the response of their guest but she focused back in just enough to hear David's final parting words to his older brother.

"For the record, she isn't fucking Jax Teller. They're not involved like that anymore."

A laugh escaped the older of the two men; derisive and eerie it made Jules' spine tingle with fear.

"You're a bigger fool than I thought. SAMCRO will be brought down and if you're girlfriend gets in the way, she'll be going down with them too. Just a friendly warning, little brother."

The door slammed shut with such force that it shook the window panes on the landing where Jules was hidden. She waited as the seconds ticked by and when she was absolutely certain that she was alone, she let out a loud sigh and crumpled to the floor. The fire that had burned bright inside of her was now a damp, smouldering, mess. Her emotions see-sawed so violently that she considered it emotional whiplash. The anger was still there but now she began to doubt whether David truly had betrayed her. Surely, she argued, he would not go to the trouble of defending her honour against his own brother if he truly planned to offer her up as pawn for the FBI.

A shrill ring split the silent air and screamed down the house. Seeing the name on the caller ID she accepted the call and tried to keep her voice level.

"Hey, where are you?" He was worried, she could tell.

"I'm at home." The words seemed wrong. "What's up?"

"You just ran off. You can't do that, Jules. Not with everything going on. Gemma is going out of her mind."

"Sorry. I just…" she trailed off, not knowing what to say next.

There was nothing but a hush between them. Their breathing was the only sound they made and after what seemed like minutes but in reality was only seconds, Jules spoke and rushed her request.

"Can you come pick me up?"

"Sure." He replied, unspoken questions lining his simple answer.

"Bring the truck, yeah?"

"No problem."

Quiet once more.

"Jax…"

She wanted to say the three words that still lived on the tip of her tongue; the one little phrase that had the power to hurt them both and hurl them back into a whirlwind of passion and toxic love. The primal need to express it was overwhelming but clamping her hand over her mouth, she forced herself to stop and locked the words in cage surrounding her heart that was made up of self-preservation.

"Thank you." She ultimately said.

Jax arrived quicker than she thought he would. She sat on the porch step, basking in the afternoon sun and spying on the loving couples sat playing with their smiling, hyperactive children that lived in the houses opposite. Next to her, her bag of belongings sat dumped on the ground and she did not move even when Jax exited the truck and walked over to her. She saw him glance suspiciously at the bag before offering her a hand and helping her to her feet. They walked to the truck without saying anything. It was only when Jax had started the truck and was travelling down the street that he plucked up the courage to ask her about the bag that she was lying on her lap.

"Does he know you're leaving him?"

"No." Jules answered back, avoiding Jax's gaze by focusing on the view outside the passenger window.

"Big day for you, isn't it? First me, then David."

"Please don't, Jax."

"I thought you were staying with him." His voice came out a mixture of confusion and hope.

"Yeah, well, things change."

Turning a corner, Jax parked the truck and cut the power. When he saw Jules' head whip around and glare at him, he turned slightly in his seat and faced her. He was still hurt. The day had been one blow after another for him but as he saw her next to him, looking exactly like the lost little girl who had entered his life ten years previously and completely thrown it off its axis, he couldn't stop himself from foolishly hoping that they might have a future together one day.

"You need to tell me what's going on with you."

"I don't get what you mean."

"Cut the bull shit, Jules. I'm not Clay. I know when you're hiding something."

"If this is about David, you have no reason to be jealous."

Slamming his hand down on the steering wheel, Jax then ran his fingers through his hair and composed himself.

"This isn't about him. Yesterday, you couldn't keep your hands off me and this morning you throw away everything we have. You're sneaking around having secret conversations with Opie and now you're leaving Hale. Just tell me what the hell is going on so I can fix it."

"I did just find out he's helping the FBI bring down my family. I do think that warrants leaving him, don't you think?"

"C'mon darling, just let me help." Jax begged, cupping Jules' cheek in the palm of his hand.

Removing his hand from her face, Jules shifted her gaze from him and stared down at the floor of the truck. It was covered in bits of dust, dirt, and crumbs from various meals.

"You can't fix this, Jax."

"I can try."

"Just take me back to the Club house."

Frustrated at her refusal to confide in him, Jax reluctantly turned back around and restarted the engine. Sitting in silence for the remainder of the short journey, Jax focused solely on his thoughts and promised himself that he would discover Jules' secret. Whatever it was she was clearly so affected by, he decided, would now become his problem; something they would face together whether she wanted to or not.

* * *

"Where is she?" Clay demanded as soon as he stepped through the door of his home and entered straight into the open-planned kitchen that was the heart of the house he shared with Gemma.

"She's in bed. Asleep." Gemma replied, leaning against the sink counter top with folded arms.

At the table sat Jax; his elbows dug into the wood as he chewed on the thumb nail of his clasped together hands. His eyes showed signs of exhaustion and he struggled to sit up straight. The events of the day whirled furiously like a tornado inside his head and he wanted desperately to sleep and hoped that the following day would be more peaceful.

"Somebody needs to tell me what the hell is going on because I'm fed up with people keeping secrets from me!"

"Clay, just calm down." Gemma grimaced, concerned that his booming voice would stir Jules from her much needed rest. "Jules is going to stay with us. She's back home where she belongs. Just be happy."

Ignoring the plea of his wife, Clay rounded on Jax. "Spill."

"Hey, I don't know what to tell you, man. She asked me to come pick her up from Hale's. Her bags were packed and she won't tell what's wrong."

"Then you need to try harder and find out." Clay insisted.

"She doesn't want me." Jax hissed, falling back against his chair.

"Of course she does." Scoffed Gemma. "She's just trying to prove something to herself. She'll come to her senses soon. Just give her time."

Jax sighed heavily. The weight of the world was crushing him and he felt defeated in that moment.

"I'm not so sure, Mom. She's never kept things from me until now. Whatever it is, she won't tell me."

"Ask Opie then." His mother cried, throwing her hands up before lighting up a cigarette. "Those two have been sneaking around all day. Mark my words, Opie knows what's going on."

Giving some thought to his mother's claim, Jax thought back to the previous night. Though his memory was somewhat hazy due to a drunken fog surrounding the events, he remembered enough to suspect that Gemma may be correct. His chair screeching against the tiles on the kitchen floor, Jax squeezed past his step-father and shut the door quietly; careful not to wake Jules.

Inside the house, Jules lay in her childhood bedroom. Every single thing, from the thick, black satin curtains, to the plum and cream coloured walls, to the silver bed-spread and black fluffy rug, was exactly the same as when she had left nine months ago. It was both un-nerving and comforting and as she lay there, she stayed perfectly still and listened to the mumbled conversation that travelled up through the vents.

It was only when she heard the mention of Opie's name that she sat bolt up in bed. Terror gripped her as she further listened to the whisperings and when she heard the door shut, she jumped from the bed and stumbled out of the room. Jules raced down the stairs caring little to the obvious noise she was making or to the looks of dismay Gemma and Clay gave her when they caught her running out of the door. She yelled for Jax so loudly that the neighbours shushed her from the door step; earning them a telling off from Gemma when the older woman wandered out onto the end of the pathway and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. It was futile though. Jax did not hear her over the deafening squeal of his motorcycle's tires.


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for the wait! I had writers block. Hope you enjoy and let me know what you think, liked/hated/want to happen next etc.**

"Ope!" Jax yelled across the yard, pulling off his helmet and shaking out his sweaty hair as he applied the brake and dismounted his motorcycle.

He did not speak again until he reached his best-friend. Stood sharing a cold beer with Chibs and Bobby, Opie turned at his name being called out and frowned when he saw Jax surging purposefully towards him with a look of determination. Everything about his stance told Opie that his fellow club member was looking for a fight and he worried about what had happened to cause such conflict between them.

"Jax?"

"What the fuck is going on with Jules?"

"What are you talking about? I thought she went to stay with you and Gemma?" Chibs interrupted.

"She has. But she's keeping secrets and I know that Opie knows something."

Sensing a battle, Bobby manoeuvred himself between the two younger members and tried in vain to diffuse the situation. The last thing SAMCRO needed was conflict within its ranks but Bobby knew just how volatile Jax could be when it came to Jules. Evening had settled across the town of Charming and with it, the men left behind in the Club house had engaged in enough recreational drinking that Bobby knew it would not take much to spark the powder keg that would ignite a fight.

"Lad, whatever is going on you need to calm down and think things through before you start accusing people."

"I am calm." Jax addressed Bobby. "I just want to know what Opie knows."

Putting his beer down on the wooden picnic table to his right, Opie grabbed Jax's arm and shoved him inside the Club House. Ordering him to keep walking, the two men ignored all who attempted to engage them until they reached Opie's quarters and shut out the world outside. Spinning around so that he was face to face with his childhood friend, Jax rounded on the man and ordered him to tell the truth.

"Keep your damn voice down, Jax." Opie hissed, now leaning with his back against the door to prevent any unwanted visitors.

"Just tell me, Ope. I need to know. I'm going out of my mind here."

"You need to talk to Jules."

"Don't you think I tried that? Jesus, I know we're over but I never thought she would shut me out like this."

The despair was so evident that seeing the emotional turmoil that Jax was trapped in made Opie grimace. He wanted so dearly to end his misery but his own attachment to Jules made him hesitate. Once the secret was out there would be no way to put it back like the proverbial genie in the bottle. The chips would land and the consequences would be permanent and felt by everyone.

"I'm dying here. I know I fucked up and I don't deserve her. I'm not even saying I deserve another chance but I can't lose her. I'll do whatever it takes but I can't fix this shit if I don't know what's going on."

Opening the door to his room, Opie poked his head out and double checked that there was no-one around to overhear him before shutting the door once more and turning back to his oldest friend with a hefty and burdensome sigh.

"Jax... Jules is pregnant."

In shock, Jax stood frozen to the spot. His mind whirled with so many questions and thoughts that he was sure it would explode. Yet, only one question left his lips as the feeling of betrayal settled into his gut.

"How long have you known."

"Only since this morning, I swear. I found out just before we left to see Unser."

"You should have told me!" shouted Jax, punching the wooden boards of the wall with the side of his fist. "She should have told me!"

"Jax, she didn't even know until this afternoon."

"What the fuck are you talking about? You're not making any sense."

Rubbing his temples, Opie reminded Jax to keep his voice down and quietly began to explain the odd situation he had found himself in that morning. When he was done, he was glad to see that his friend had calmed down a degree but the anger had now been replaced with fear. Collapsing on the edge of the bed, Jax sat for stability and covered his face with hands. He was not yet thirty but suddenly he felt much older. Despite being Vice President of SAMCRO for years and enduring all the responsibilities it had included, he now felt as if he was responsible for the whole world. His own life had always meant very little to him but now he understood the need for him to survive no matter what.

Jumping up and startling Opie with his unexpected movement, Jax pushed past him and glared at him when the taller of the two men caught him by the arm and stopped him in his tracks.

"What are you doing, Jax?"

"I need to talk to Jules."

"You can't." Opie argued, moving himself so that he was once again blocking the path to the door.

"Why the fuck not? She's having my kid!"

"Are you sure?" questioned Opie, lowering his voice to a whisper. "She has a fiance. She's not a nun, Jax."

"Trust me, man. It's my kid."

"Even if it is, what do you think is going to happen? That you're going to shack up and play happy families?"

A pained laugh escaped Jax. Throwing his hands up in defeat, the young man rubbed at the stubble growing on his face and cocked his head to one side. His voice was clear but low and he did not stutter as he spoke with quiet intensity.

"Why the hell not. Hale isn't an obstacle anymore and Jules is safest here with me. I can take care of her. I can take care of our kid."

"And if we end up doing time? What if this shit with the FBI goes south? Have you even thought about it? About what it'll do to Jules if she has to raise this baby without you?"

"Donna managed it."

Opie rolled his eyes and winced at the name of his deceased wife. He wanted only for his best friend to see sense. The bigger picture was looming and completely unobtainable to Jax. Memories of his time in prison still plagued Opie and he still clearly remembered the pain his family had suffered - were still suffering - as a result of it.

"Donna didn't have a choice but Jules does. The girl has only just found out she's pregnant. Give her a damn minute to figure out what she wants to do before you go barging in and filling her head with promises you cant keep."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ope. You're a great friend."

"I'm just trying to be realistic here." he argued back.

"Well stop."

"Jax..."

With clenched fists Jax addressed his best friend. "Seriously, Ope, stop talking before I punch you."

Admitting defeat, Opie kept his mouth shut and made no move to stop his friend from leaving. The door slammed shut before Jax and he scowled the whole way through the Club until he reached the courtyard and was met with the worried glances of his older club members.

"Everything okay, Jax?" Bobby pried.

Not caring for any small talk, Jax did not bother to reply. He mounted his bike and within no time at all, he was racing down the empty streets of Charming. The ride home felt like an eternity and he breathed a sigh of relief - a breath he wasn't aware until that moment that he had been withholding, when he spotted his childhood home. Cutting the engine, he climbed the porch steps two at a time and heard his mother call out for him when he closed the front door behind him. Placing his helmet down on the couch to his right, Jax shrugged out of his Club issued leather Cutt and stole himself a moment to prepare. Walking into the kitchen he noted the cigarette in Gemma's right hand whilst her left was clasped over Jules' own joined hands.

"Mom, I need to talk to her alone."

With a pout and a frown, Gemma stubbed out the cigarette in the ash tray and stood. "Don't mind me, I'm only your mother."

"Mom." Jax sighed with exasperation. "This doesn't concern you."

"You and her are my babies. Everything you do concerns me." She said gentle authority before squeezing Jules' hand and kissing the young woman on top of her head.

Facing her son, Gemma's eyebrows furrowed when she saw the turmoil that was written all his handsome face. With a stroke of his cheek, she left her son with only a parting order for her husband to follow her. Reluctantly, Clay followed his wife and so Jules and Jax were left alone and together. When he heard his mother and step-father enter their bedroom and he was confident that they would not be eavesdropping, Jax sat in the seat previously occupied by the Teller matriarch and leaned back as he silently surveyed Jules. Her face gave nothing away but the kitchen was filled with the sound of her thumb chipping away at her nails, and her rapid breathing, as she avoided his gaze. The silence between them stretched out until Jules left her seat to fill the kettle and place it on the stove. Following suit, Jax caught her by the arm before she had chance to light the burner.

"You have no idea how fucked up this day has been." He stated as Jules kept her back to him.

The buzzing of a phone cut through the air as it vibrated furiously on the counter top. When her fiance's name appeared, Jules stiffened and she stared at it cautiously as if it were bomb. It was the moment she had been dreading and it had coincided with a moment she had not expected to be in so soon.

"Don't answer it." She heard Jax beg of her.

With great tenderness, Jax turned Jules so that they were face to face and he rested his forehead against hers. She did not move but his joy was tentative. Behind them, the phone continued to vibrate with only a few seconds of peace in between each call. Jax knew he had to confront the woman in his arms.

"I really should answer it."

"Don't."

"I have to. He deserves an explanation."

"Opie told me." Blurted out Jax.

"I know."

Lifting his face, Jax stared at his former lover with furrowed eyebrows.

"He texted me when you left." She stopped to shut off her phone, finally annoyed by the incessant vibrating.

"You should have told me. I had a right to know."

"I know, okay? I'm sorry!" Jules hissed. "Give me a break. I only found out today. I think I deserved some time to figure out my options before bringing you into this!"

"What the hell does that mean 'figure out your options'? I had to find out my from best-friend that the girl I love is carrying my goddamn baby!"

"Will you keep your voice down! I don't want Gemma or Clay knowing." She paused as she put space between herself and Jax. "Fuck, I screwed up, Jax. My period is over a week late. I kept burying my head in the sand hoping I was wrong. I turned to Opie because I thought he would keep his mouth shut. Clearly, I was wrong."

"Is this why you left Hale? You don't want him knowing you had an affair? Jesus, Jules. It's not like he's going to notice your baby bump in a few months time and not put two and two together... Or were you going to try and pass off our baby as his?!"

"What? No! David is a good man and deserves better than me."

"Oh yeah? And what about the FBI?" Jax countered, his anger growing.

"I was wrong about that. I don't need to justify my actions to you, Jax. I'm not going back to him because he doesn't deserve to get hurt by me."

"And I do?"

"Yes!" Jules shouted, rounding on the man in front of her; spittle leaving her mouth as she spat out her feelings. "I left you because I wanted to hurt you. I want you to suffer for everything you ever did to me."

Kicking the chair closest to him, Jax bit down on his knuckles and tried, but failed, to remain composed.

"I already did suffer! For eight months. You took off and I lost my damn mind. I had no idea if you were truly alive. I've spent the last few weeks trying like hell to show you that I'm serious about us but you keep pulling away. How can you expect me to change when you're still pulling the same shit?"

Taken aback, Jules scoffed before realising that Jax was deadly serious and as she slowly unfolded her arms, she shook her head in disbelief.

"Excuse me?"

"This is textbook you. Any time things get hard or too much you pull away. You make decisions for us on your own terms with no consideration to me."

"Bullshit."

"I waited months for you to be ready to be with me properly. You left Charming without giving me a chance to try and fix us. You even decided that I was just a dirty little fuck whenever you got bored of your life with Hale. Now this, with the baby. Using it to punish me. Textbook!"

"Shut up!" Jules demanded as she completely turned away from him and made to leave.

"No. You know what I think? I think you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

Ignoring her mutterings, Jax carried on as he let out months of pent up pain.

"You're scared to admit that this might actually be the life you want - the one you should be in- because of some crazy idea that your mom put in your head as a kid. You fit in here. You're one of us and that terrifies you."

"I'm not listening to this." She moved once again to try and leave but was blocked by Jax's full height.

"Because you know I'm right. The things you've done for the Club... for us, for me... You've lied to the police. I've seen you stitch us up, move dead bodies. Christ, I've even seen you kill somebody. You're scared of the dark parts inside of you but those are the parts I love. The girl you used to be - the one I know is still in there under all that superficial bullshit and fairy tale fantasies - is the one I want to be with. She's not afraid of anyone and will do anything for those she loves. That girl is the mother of my child. So stop pretending to be something you're not."

"You're pregnant?" Both Jax and Jules heard Clay ask.

The two groaned in unison as they saw Clay and Gemma, who was stood with her arms crossed and her mouth in a tight line, standing in the archway dressed in their nightwear.

"I can't deal with this right now." said Jules; overwhelmed by all she had gone through in one day.

Sprinting through the kitchen and out of the back door, she ran through the dew-covered grass and out the garden gate until she came to the front of the house. There, exiting his police cruiser and looking forlorn, was David. Suddenly, something inside of Jules broke and she surrendered to the day; to the universe and it's plan. The hits just kept on coming and she stood frozen to the spot as her fiance approached her enthusiastically.

"I've been going mad with worry! You cant even answer your damn phone? What the hell are you doing here?"

Behind her she heard a door click open and she risked a look. At the door stood her family and she hated how smug her step-mother looked when she clocked David's presence. Paying little attention to his future in-laws, the deputy stared at Jules and held out his hand to her.

"Come home. We can talk there."

"No." Jules finally found her voice. "I know about the FBI and the investigation into the Club."

Grimacing, David let his hand fall. "Not here, Jules. I'll explain everything when we get home. I promise."

"I am home, David."

"No. Our home is waiting for us."

Shaking her head and shushing Jax when she heard him tell David to leave, she took a deep breath and spoke quickly.

"I'm not going back with you and there won't be a wedding."

"What are you talking about?" David asked, his face twisted with heartbreak.

"I've been sleeping with Jax since we came back to Charming. You're brother was right. I'm trouble. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I fight it, I keep going back to him. I will always keep going back to him. So you need to leave because you don't belong here."

Later that night, Jules would barely remember the events that followed. All she would be able to recall when she looked back on it was the expression of pure disappointment and betrayal plastered all over the face of man who's only crime had been to fall in love with her.


	12. Chapter 12

**New chapter guys. Thanks so much for the kind reviews. I'm glad you guys are enjoying it. Not sure how I feel about this chapter to be honest and I'm losing a bit of inspiration for this story but I shall persevere**

 _Shaking with uncontrollable violence, Jules stared at the blood that covered her hands and stood muted to the spot. Too traumatised to scream, she remained unnaturally silent and only looked up from her crimson hands when she heard Jax shout at her. It was as if she was looking at a movie; the body that lay on the floor with blood leaking from his chest and the silhouette of her boyfriend crouched over him seemed unreal to her. She watched him slowly get to his feet and approach her with caution. She felt him take her face in his own bloody hands and smear her cheeks by accident._

 _"Hey, look at me. Jules." Jax reiterated. "Are you okay?"_

 _She felt her eyes flit briefly to the blood on hands once more before nodding._

 _Checking over her, Jax grimaced as he came upon various injuries: a busted lip, a hand-shaped bruise forming on her upper right arm, a cut above her left eyebrow where blood was already turning brown and beginning to clot. The anger that swelled up inside of him threatened to consume his soul and he certain that if it were not for the fact that his enemy was already dead, then he would be guilty of another murder._

 _"Jax." Jules whispered, her voice beginning to turn hysterical. "What did I do? I didn't mean to- I just wanted him to stop - I can't go to jail. What do we do?"_

 _Swallowing down a mouthful of bitter, iron tasting blood, Jax ignored the splitting headache inside his skull and concentrated on calming his girlfriend; hating how he had placed her in such a position that she would forever be stained by the act she had committed to save his life._

 _"Listen to me. You are not going to go down for this. I won't let that happen, you hear me?" He demanded an answer and was pleased when Jules squeaked out a 'yes'. "i need you to get a hold of as many of the Club as you can and tell them to get down here/ Then, you're going to go home, take a shower, and forget about all of this. You understand? This never happened."_

 _"What are you going to do with him?"_

 _"It doesn't matter. Just trust me, darling. Go home and tomorrow this will nothing more than a bad dream."_

"I've made you an appointment with the doctor." Gemma directed towards her step-daughter as she placed a plate of buttered toast and crispy bacon in front of the young woman.

"It's too early for that, Gemma."

"Nonsense, baby. We've got to make sure you and my grand-baby are okay."

The sound of shuffling feet caught Jules' attention and turning her head, she saw Jax enter the kitchen and make a beeline straight for her. Swallowing the bacon she had was chewing on, she stiffened - unsure of what his reaction to her would be that morning - before instantly relaxing when she felt his hand grab her hip and his lips graze her cheek as he kissed her tenderly.

"The appointment's tomorrow at eleven." Gemma continued with a triumphant smile on her face.

"What appointment?"

"Your mom has made an appointment with the doctor." Jules stated with a roll of her green eyes.

"Mom, we can do that stuff."

Sipping on her coffee, Gemma showed mock remorse as she shrugged her shoulders at her son and smiled playfully. "So sue me. I just wanted to help. I'm excited about my grandson."

Neither Jax nor Jules missed the gender insinuation Gemma pressed upon them. The former laughed at his mother, still grateful for her excitement and thoughtfulness, whilst the latter wiped toast crumbs and bacon grease from her hands and excused herself without another word. With a frown, Jax let her go. Finishing off the bacon on Jules' abandoned breakfast plate, he kissed his mother on her cheek and said his goodbyes. Sun glared down on him as he rode the short distance to the Teller Morrow garage and when he arrived, he was grateful to find that his day would be filled with honest, mechanical work; welcome of the distraction it would bring to him.

The day went by in a flash of sweat, cars, and minimal interruptions. By consensus, the Club had agreed to lay low and off the criminal radar in wake of the FBI investigation. As a result, Jax found himself surrounded by bored Club members as they floated in and out of the Club house and garage. Crawling out from under the third car he had fixed that day so far, Jax came face to face with Piney and thanked the older man when he helped him to his feet.

"I hear a congratulations are in order."

With a wary smile, Jax nodded. " Good news travels fast."

"Clay's shouting it from the rooftops."

"You should see Gemma."

Taking a swig of water from the bottle that was sat atop the roof of the car, Jax waited for Piney to respond. He watched the old man open and shut his mouth twice before gently patting the hood of the vehicle and nodding to himself.

"Do right by her. She's been through enough."

"She's all I want, Piney."

"Make sure it stays that way."

Despite feeling irked at the reminder of his past indiscretions and mistakes, Jax replied with a single nod of his head and turned back to the car in front of him; lifting the hood and setting to work on checking the oil and water levels before signing off its paperwork and receipt. The shrill ringing of his cellphone interrupted him and picking it up without looking at the caller ID, Jax hollered a cheerful hello.

"Jax, get your ass home now."

"Mom?" Jax said, instantly alert.

"The FBI have taken Jules to the station."

"What the fuck?" Jax cursed down the phone, already pulling off his dirty overalls and running towards his motorcycle. "What the hell happened?"

"They just showed up at the house a few minutes ago. They wouldn't let me go with her. Some bullshit about just wanting to question her."

Waving away the concerns of Opie and Tigs as he passed them, Jax pulled on his helmet and mounted his bike as he continued to speak to his mother.

"I'll sort it. I'm on my way to get her now."

"Be careful, baby. Don't give them an excuse to take you in."

"I got this, Mom."

Hanging up, Jax put the beast of a vehicle into ignition and rode out of the Lot, narrowly avoiding running over Half-sack and Chibs on his way out, and rushed to the police station. He was breathless and sweating when he arrived and finally tracked down Unser; who was sat at his desk filling in paper work.

"Get Jules out of there, Unser." Jax hissed as he slammed the office door behind him.

Dismissing his fellow officers on the opposite side of the window with a shake of his head, Unser put down his pen and leaned back in his leather chair.

"By all means, Jax, come in. Take a seat." The chief of police paused as he assessed the furiously worried man pacing his small office. "I had nothing to do with this, I swear... but the FBI can question anyone they want."

"Come off it, Unser. You and I both know that they're trying to use her to get to us."

"If you can trust her then you having nothing to worry about."

"Of course I can trust her! But the FBI are ruthless. They will break her down just for fun and I won't let her go down for shit that wasn't her fault."

"What are you talking about?" Unser asked, his interest piqued."

"Nothing." Jax answered, remembering that there were some things the chief of police was not privy to. "Just get her out. She doesn't need this stress. She's pregnant."

Silence hung in the air.

"I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that, given the way you're reacting, the baby isn't Hale's?"

Slumping into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk to Unser, Jax swiped his hair away from his face and grunted as he recalled the dramatic events of the day before.

"No it isn't."

"For god's sake, Jax" Unser huffed, grimacing in anger and annoyance at the young man. "David is a good guy. You might not like him but he doesn't deserve this."

"We didn't plan it, Unser."

"Does he know?"

"No. Not that. It's complicated but Jules left him. She told him about us last night."

"Jesus Christ. This is the last thing we need right now. You need to leave before Hale sees you and I'm forced to arrest one of my best cops for punching you in the face for stealing his fiance."

His brows knitting together, Jax took another breath and corrected his ally.

"Me and Jules aren't together. She left us both."

A dark chuckle left the mouth of the older man and it caused the younger of the two raise an eyebrow at him.

"This is more fucked up than even I could have imagined. Listen, Jax, you want to stay then on your head be it but I have no authority over the FBI. Jules is on her own."

Almost an hour passed before Jax was reunited with Jules. Guided down a corridor by Unser, Jax surged towards his former lover as soon as he set eyes on her and embraced her tightly. She hugged him back and buried her face in his chest for a moment before breaking Jax's hold on her as she remembered her surroundings. Behind her, a tall, slender woman with dark blonde hair and cold eyes stepped out of the room and eyed Jax and Jules with gleeful menace as she gave them a smile.

"Well this is cosy... I'll be in touch, Miss Miller."

With a scowl and suspicion running through his veins, Jax watched the unnamed FBI agent walk away then turned his attention to the woman he had came in search of and once again, pulled her into a hug.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. She just kept asking questions about my mom and about Clay... but Jax, she's dangerous."

"Not here." Jax cut her off, grabbing her hand and pulling her in the direction of the exit as he gave no further thought to Unser.

The two raced down the hallways until they reached the double glass doors of the exit and mounted Jax's motorcycle. It wasn;t until they were on the road and journeying back to the SAMCRO Club house that Jules finally breathed a sigh of relief. She had been so tightly wound, convinced that she would have to face Hale and stressed by the FBI relentless probing questions, that only now did she feel safe and secure. Her arms were locked around Jax's waist and she let herself be grateful for his presence in her life at that very moment.

When they arrived at the Club house, Jules noted how the Teller- Morrow garage had been locked up for the day but the Lot was packed with the various motorcycles of the Club's members and some that clearly did not, as well as a number of cars. Navigating their way through the parked vehicles, Jax kept a tight grip on Jules' hand and opened the door to allow her to enter first. Noise hit them like a blast of gale force wind.

"Shit. I forgot about the party for Juice's return." Jax mumbled before shaking his head when he realised that Jules had not heard him.

A pair of hands grabbed at Jules' waist and she turned to be caught in a hug by none other than the missing SAMCRO member himself. Beaming at him, she returned his hug and squealed in delight at his homecoming. He looked just as she remembered; his tribal head tattoos displayed proudly and a cheeky grin on his tanned face.

"It's about time you got back!"

"I could say the same to you. I can't believe I wasn't here."

"You didn't miss much." Jules laughed, genuine happiness seeping through her bones for the first time in days.

"That's not what I heard." Juice answered back with a smirk.

"Why does that not surprise me? Everyone here is a massive gossip."

"If it helps, I think you'll be a great mom."

Before Jules could thank him for his faith in her, Juice was pulled away by a blonde haired crow-eater, and her 'thank you' was left unsaid on her lips as her mind turned to the child growing inside of her and how the life he or she might have was being threatened by those who wanted to bring down SAMCRO.

"C'mon." Jules heard Jax say as he pulled her further into the party and through the throngs of people until they reached the hallway that led to the dorm rooms. "Tell me everything."

"The agent who interviewed me, Stahl I think it was, she's dangerous, Jax. She knows so much already. She knew all about my mom and my childhood."

"Most of that stuff you can find out through public records. She's just trying to look more clever than she is."

"I don't think that's it. She kept asking me questions about when we dated and why I left. I kept telling her that I knew nothing; that the Club is just a motorcycle gang but she doesn't believe me. I can tell. The way she looked at me, Jax... she's not going to stop until she gets what she wants."

Taking Jules in his arms, Jax stroked the side of her face and tried his best to reassure her. Even in spite of the unsettled feeling in his gut, he chose to focus solely on Jules' well being and he followed his instincts and pressed a gentle kiss to her pink, plump lips.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

"It's not me I'm worried about. I can't lose my family. I can't lose you. If you go away-"

"That's not going to happen. I'm not going anywhere, darlin'."

"I mean it, Jax. I know what I said yesterday but that was before... well... everything. I don't want to raise this baby without you. I don't want to live a life without you in it."

"Listen to me." Jax started, forcing Jules to look him in the eyes. "The FBI can come for us all they want but nothing could make me leave you. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

A squeal of laughter broke through the barrier of the door and pulled the two complicated lovers from their secret conversation. Separating from Jax, Jules fixed her wind swept hair and forced herself to smile.

"We'd best join the party before Juice thinks we've abandoned him."

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room, one knee shaking uncontrollably whilst she picked at her polish free nails and stared at a laminated sign that hung on the pale blue wall in front of her that explained the benefits of flu shots, Jules tried her hardest to remain calm and not to let unnecessary worry eat at her. On her left Gemma sat, arms folded and annoyance plastered on her face, whilst Jax sat to her right and attempted to placate his mother with answers he did not have.

"I just don't understand why she had to have her blood taken. It's stupid they made her take another test in the first place and now we're stuck in this dump waiting for these incompetent assholes to do their job."

"Mom, I've already told you. This is probably just procedure. Stop getting your panties in a twist."

"Yeah well, it wasn't procedure in my day." Gemma replied, huffing when another young woman was called in whilst they were made to continue waiting.

"That was decades ago. Things have really moved on since the stone age." joked Jax.

"Watch it. You're not too old to have your ass whooped."

"Jules?"

The sudden appearance of a male doctor shook Jules from her isolation and she stood silently and followed him back to his office. She heard Jax command his mother to remain in the waiting room and as they both sat in the doctor's office, faced with a gentleman only a decade or so older than Jax, Jules instantly felt her stomach drop; frowns were never a sign of good news.

"We got your test results back and it appears that you're not actually pregnant. You never were. It's rare but sometimes test can give a false positive. It happens for a number of reasons..."

Fog descended. Jules did not register another word the doctor spoke and every action she took, from shaking his hand and walking from the room, to climbing silently into Gemma's car as her step-mother bombarded her questions, she did so as if running on auto-pilot. She was aware of everything taking place but she felt disconnected. The sense of separation lasted until they reached the family home. Filling a glass with water straight from the kitchen taps, Jules sipped at the liquid slowly.

"Give me a minute with her." Jax requested, not taking his eyes off the woman he loved.

"I'm so sorry, baby." Gemma said, her voice full of genuine disappointment and grief as she squeezed his arm in support before giving him the privacy he desired.

"Talk to me."

His plea was simple but contained unimaginable yearning and a need to be let in. He had spent too much time on the outside of Jules' life and her soul and now was not the time to lock him out further. His own sadness was unspeakable and he feared that without the possibility of a baby that the woman he longed to be with would leave him; see him for the intrinsic mess he truly was.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Jules..." he stepped towards her.

"Look, I thought I was pregnant and I was wrong. So you can go back to screwing random girls because you're not stuck with me anymore. You have no obligation to be with me."

Swallowing down his anger and choosing to remain composed in spite of how offended he felt, Jax spoke calmly and clearly.

"Have you not been paying attention the last couple of days? Have you even listened to a damn word I've said?"

"You and I both know that you were only sticking around because we thought I was pregnant."

"That's utter crap! I've told you time and time again that you're all want. I said I wasn't going anywhere and I mean it. Does it suck that you're not having my baby, of course it does. But we have plenty of time to do that stuff. I just want us to be together like we used to be."

Leaning against the counter, Jules contemplated Jax's words and tried to make sense of her own feelings. There was grief - mourning for the potential life she could have had - but there was relief too. Life was now marginally simpler without the added complication of an unexpected and adulterous pregnancy.

She took a deep breath. "The things I said about us being bad for one another they were true. You know that. " she reiterated when she saw him begin to argue back. "I left you because I wanted to hurt you and I did hurt you. More than once. But there are things bigger than us - things that can tear us apart if we let them - and I don't want that."

"What are you saying?" Jax asked, puzzled and needing affirmation.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore and I don't want to hurt anymore. Being without you, it hurts, Jax. I don't care what other people think. I don't care about all the shit we've done to each other. I care about here and now and I want my own whole to be with you. No matter what comes our way - the FBI, prison, whatever - I just don't want to be apart from you. I tried and I just cant do it."

Happiness burst through his veins but Jax was cautious. The last week, he knew, had proven how volatile and extreme their relationship could be; how they were capable of inflicting pain upon one another without a second thought all because of their twisted sense of pride. Rubbing at the scruff on his jaw, he pursed his lips together and tentatively placed a hand on Jules' hip.

"You need to be sure. I need you to be sure about this Jules because I can't go through all of this again. Are you sure that you could be happy here with me? With the Club and everything that comes with it?"

Making an executive decision not to answer, Jules closed the small gap between them and pressed her mouth against Jax's; revelling in the sensation of his lips on hers and the touch of his hands as he tangled them in her hair. She let her own hands cling to him and as she stood there, encased in Jax's scent and embrace, she welcomed the wave of memories good and bad and surrendered to her fate.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for all the reviews and follows. Means a lot! Sorry if there are any mistakes and thanks for being patient :)**

Laying in the arms of her lover, Jules turned so she could see him clearly and let out a contented sigh. Outside, the sun was beginning to rise and it cast a warm glow on Jax's sleeping face. It was of no surpise to Jules just how comfortable she felt being fully immersed in her whole but what did surprise her, however, was the normality of it all; it was as if her eight months away from Charming had never happened. But what couldn't be erased, even in her bubble of love and happiness, was the guilt she felt at destroying the trust and life of her former fiance.

"Stop it."

Jax's voice invaded her thoughts and she saw him staring at her with sleepy eyes. He was glorious as pink and orange daylight bathed his handsome face and bare chest. Avoiding his gaze, Jules shifted onto her side and traced the tattoo that adorned his lower inner left arm; a rose with thorns twisted around its stem and identical to the one she had displayed on her right shoulder blade.

"Go back to sleep." she mumbled.

"Stop worrying about whatever shit is going on in your head. Life is good." Jax said, pulling Jules closer into him and kissing her forehead.

Taking his sound advice, she nodded silently and welcomed his embrace. When they both awoke, it was several hours later and the room was bright and stuffy. Untangling herself from Jax's sweaty body, Jules pulled on her robe and padded down the hall to the bathroom. Setting the water to a lukewarm temperature, the young woman stripped naked and revelled in the cooling stream of water as it fell on her and washed away the dirt and grime on her skin. Some minutes later, as she rinsed the last of the shampoo from her hair, she felt a pair of hands cup her waist and Jax's strong, toned body flush against her back and bottom. His lips trailed along her neck and she moaned gently in appreciation.

"Hey." she heard him mutter into her ear as he nipped it with his teeth.

"Hey yourself."

"Come back to bed." He urged whilst squeezing Jules' breasts.

As tempted as she was, Jules bit her lip and stayed strong. "I can't. I have things to do today and I thought the Club was meeting with contractors today for the new warehouse?"

""Whatever you need to do can wait and so can the Club."

Cutting off any answer Jules was about to give him, the door to the bathroon swung open and in walked Gemma, towel in hand and mouth gaping open when she finally realised what scene lay before her.

"What the - Get a damn room!" yelled the Teller-Morrow matriarch.

"Jesus, Mom!" Jax shouted back, laughing yet grateful that the most his mother would have seen was his bare backside.

"Hurry up. I want a shower and if you use up all the hot water I'll smack you." his mother replied as she backed out of the room with a grumble and shut the door.

Burying his face into the nape of Jules' neck, Jax shook his head in disbelief but continued to laugh. It was far from the first time his mother had walked in on him in a compromising position but he was now certain that it would be the last.

"Well that's one way to start the day."

Dismissing her boyfriend with a tut, Jules shut off the water and grabbed a towel of the hanging rail and wrapped it firmly around her body. She grinned at Jax as she wiggled her bottom and heard him follow her back down the hallway. She fended off his advances once more and tried to blow dry her hair quickly to avoid the excess heat. Once dressed in a blue, cotton sun-dress, she sauntered down the stairs and greeted her father before pouring herself a glass of juice.

"I thought you'd be at the club house by now?"

"We're meeting at the site." Clay responded, wiping coffee from his mustache and filling his mouth with bacon.

"Isn't this risky? The FBI-"

"Supply and demand, baby. We need to get back into business. Don't worry, we got it all under control. The FBI won't find a damn thing."

Brows furrowed, Jules hummed non-commitaly and watched her father finish his bacon in just a few bites. They had spoken little in the past week and she suspected part of it was due to his disappointment at no longer having a grandchild to look forward to. The conversation on the matter had been brief but she had heard her father and step-mother speaking late at night a number of times and him lamenting at how the universe seemed to be giving him one blow after another. So, as she looked on as Clay placed his plate in the dishwasher, Jules vowed to keep her worries to herself and be positive for her father's sake.

"I know." She forced a smile.

"So what are your plans today?" Clay asked, genuinely interested in his daughter's life.

Jules finished her remaining juice and sighed with refreshed contentment. She shrugged her shoulders non-commitally and pondered on her upcoming activities for the day.

"Just a bunch of stuff. I need to stop by the station to see Hale and then I'm meeting Luann at Cara Cara. She said there's a job for me if I want it."

Clay's eyebrows rose and he threw his daughter a disapproving look to which she glared back at him for. She was in no mood for his judgement. Her energy was focused on preparing for the mentally draining task of seeing her heartbroken, former fiance and so she had no room within her for placating her father.

"Don't look at me like that."

"I don't know which is the worse idea out of either them but I do know that you've clearly lost your damn mind." Clay answered back, rising from his chair with calloused hands spread on the table as he reprimanded Jules.

"Please don't start, okay? I have to at least give David his ring back and I need a job. Luann knows me."

"You have a job!"

Jules scoffed and threw her arms up in the air. "Filing paper work at the garage is barely a job and I need money. I don't want to rely on you and Gemma."

"Then get a different job. There's plenty of jobs in this town and you're smarter than that place. I don't want you going near Cara Cara."

Clay's tone made it clear that there would be no further discussion on the matter but his daughter was not one to back down. Just like her father, she was stubborn and prideful. The thought of anyone attempting to control her life sent her sense of injustice into overdrive. So, with memories of her childhood flashing before her eyes, of times both her mother and father prevented her from pursuing whatever it was she wanted more than air at the time, she exploded at Clay.

"You think I want to waste a college degree working in Cara Cara? It's the best option. It's linked to the Club, I know who I'll be dealing with, and there won't be anyone there who'll look down on me. There won't be anyone side-eyeing me or judging me based on the Club."

"I said no. End of."

"I'm not a child, Clay." Jules stated, lips pouted and arms folded. "You can't tell me what to do."

"I'm your damn father. I can do whatever I want." He argued back, pointing one finger at the young woman and slamming his fist on the table so hard that it vibrated.

Sauntering into the kitchen, Jax's easy going smile faded when he clapped on the scene before him; father and daughter standing off against one another and both red-faced with indignant anger. Stopping short, he looked from his step-father to his girlfriend and back again.

"Did you know about this?" Clay shouted at Jax accusingly.

"Know about what?

"Jules is going to work at Cara Cara."

Just as her father did before him, Jules watched Jax's eyes widen with shock and his jaw clench. He ran his fingers through his dirty blonde hair then shook his head. A strained laugh left his mouth and Jules could tell that he was not pleased by the news.

"This is the important thing you need to do today?"

"It's not what you think." She sighed, exasperated, already feeling a headache beginning to form behind her eyes.

"You're not working there. No-one is touching you. I'll shoot anyone who evens tries."

"Jesus, Jax, cool it with this cave man shit. I'm not going to be fucking anyone, okay?"

"Damn right, you won't."

Jules was cut off when both Jax and Clay's cell phones started ringing loudly. Both men dismissed her as they answered. They're conversations were brief and similar and she could hear the stress in their voices. She knew better than to ask; doubting she would even be given an honest answer where Club business was concerned. Taking advantage of the distraction, Jules grabbed her handbag from the back of the kitchen chair where she had left it the night before and slung it over her shoulder. She grabbed her sandals from by the back door and shoved them on whilst flinging open the door and making her escape through the paved section of the garden and out down the drive way. Hearing Jax following her, she ignored his yelling and let her anger push her forward.

"Jules! We're not finished!"

She flipped him off without missing a step. A minute later, she heard the rumble of engines and saw, from the corner of her eye, her boyfriend and father zoom passed her on their way to deal with whatever new problem had arisen. Eventually, her annoyance disappated and half an hour later she was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the reception of Charming P.D's station, anxiously fiddling with the necklace that hung low into her clevage.

David spotted her before she saw him. His step faltered when he set eyes on her and when she lifted her head and finally noticed his presence, she avoided meeting his gaze. Jules rose to her feet and a weak smile played on her lips. She knew it would be hard to face David for the first time since breaking off their engagement, but the remorse was almost too much for her to bear. So much so, that her voice came out small as she greeted him.

"Hi." squeaked Jules.

Time ticked by agonizingly slow until the heartbroken man took pity and replied. "Follow me."

His request surprised Jules but she did as he asked and dutifully followed him down the winding corridors until they reached Unser's empty office. Opening the door, David held it and ushered her inside before closing the blinds to afford them some privacy. He turned to find Jules with her hand held out to him; his engagement ring lying flat in her palm.

He shook his head. "That belongs to you."

"It wouldn't be right for me to keep it."

"That wasn't what I meant."

The sigh that followed made him reach out instinctively to comfort his former fiance. She softly tapped his hand away from her cheek and rubbed at her temples. Her headache was getting worse.

"David..."

"A month ago I thought I had everything figured out. I was going to marry the woman I love, start a family, become chief in a few months. I had everything I could want."

"Please, just take the ring." Jules begged.

"I never imagined I would fall in love with someone like you but I did. I took you in in spite of your past. You promised me you were done with that life... done with Jax."

"That wasn't a promise I was ever capable of keeping." She answered honestly, knowing that even in their worst times, she never was and never would be capable of giving up Jackson Teller.

Stomping towards her, David grabbed Jules by her upper arms and gripped her tightly; towering over her as he spoke passionately.

"He's a criminal and he's going to prison, Jules. The whole lot of them! I don't want to see you go down with them. You don't deserve to have your whole life destroyed because of SAMCRO. Just come home and we can get passed this."

Get passed this? You're talking about my family, David!" She hissed, putting distance between the two of them. "You expect me to just stand there and let you work with the FBI to send them all to prison!"

"They deserve to be there! They're criminals!"

"You know nothing about them or the people who depend on them. It isn't just the Club you're fucking with. They have families!"

"And they'd be better off without them!"

It was instinct. She raised her hand and felt her flesh connect with the side of his face before she had even acknowledged what she was about to do. The fury bubbled deep inside her and she ached to do more than just slap him. It was wrong, she knew that. To strike an officer of the law was a punishable offence but she did not care one iota. Jules flung the diamond ring and saw it bounce of his chest and fall to the floor. The door was wrenched open and she was running down the corridors with no regards to the people she crashed into or their grumbles of disapproval. In fact, she did not stop running until she more than five minutes away and sure that David was not coming after her. She slowed to a halt and clasped her chest as her lungs burned with the effort of breathing. People eyed her but overall left her alone as she caught her breath. Taking out her cell phone, she checked the time and groaned at the three missed calls from Gemma and two from Jax. Her phone flashed informing her of an unread voicemail and she pressed to listen to it, just as she spotted Juice coming from the barber shop across the road.

"Jules..." A long pause. She crossed the road and carried on listening and waiting for the rustling to end. "Don't go to see Luann. We have to go out on a run and I won't be back til late but I have a surprise for you." More silence. "I love you."

The promise of a surprise was intriguing. Still, with her anger at all the significant men in her life at the moment still coursing through her veins, Jules put it to the back of her mind and yelled out for Juice to stop before he drove away.

"Juice! Wait!"

"Hey, pretty girl." He beamed at her. "What are you doing in this part of town?"

"Just running errands. You get a haircut?"

"Just a trim." He smiled bashfully, running his hands over the mohawk that exposed the tattoos on either side of his scalp.

In spite of his tough exterior, he had such a baby face that most of the Club and those closest to them struggled to take him seriously at times. He was lovable and kind and Jules often wondered how he had found himself involved in such a violent lifestyle.

"You couldn't do me a favour could you?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Could you give me a lift to Cara Cara?"

She saw the doubt and question flicker across his eyes for a moment. "You heading to see Luann?"

"Yeah. Haven't really had a chance to catch up since being back. You know how it is." said Jules, hoping that her smile would be enough to put him at ease.

"Erm... I'm kinda running late. We're meant to be leaving for a run and I should have been there five minutes ago."

"Please, Juice." Jules begged. "You'd be saving my life."

Giving in and eager to please, Juice nodded and handed Jules the spare helmet from under his seat. Clipping it on, she mounted the bike and grinned when she realised it was the first time she had ridden a motorcycle in nine months.

* * *

"Stop moping, baby. What did you expect would happen." Gemma asked rhetorically, her head bent with a cigarette in one hand as she poured over various coloured papers comparing one against the other.

Jules sat, moping. Her arms were folded and she was slouched at the dining table picking at salad on her plate. Her afternoon had proven to be a dud when it quickly came to her attention that Clay and Jax had interfered and gotten to Luann before she had. As a result, Luann, despite being the old lady of one of the Club's original and incarcerated members, Otto, was too afraid to give her any kind of job. She had been put in her place and the message was clear: Jax Teller's old lady was off limits.

"It wasn't even porn. Not really." Jules said for the fourth time that hour.

Stubbing out her cigarette, Gemma whipped off her glasses and stared at her step-daughter.

"Jax is the vice-president of the Club and you're his old lady. Jax Teller's old lady does not degrade herself by taking off her clothes for money. You're not a whore so don't act like one."

"I don't want to be relying on the Club my whole life, Gemma."

"Jax just wants to take care of you. There ain't anything wrong with that." She countered, nibbling on the corner of her glasses' frames.

"I want some sort of life outside of SAMCRO. Something to do when they're gone. Something that's just mine." Jules argued back, knowing how lonely life could be when Jax was away and how isolated from the community you could become when wrapped up with the Club.

"You want something to do then help me pick a colour for the flyers for the annual picnic." Gemma replied, shoving papers Jules' way who huffed but went along with the request as she knew how much her step-mother's activities in Charming meant to her.

It was after eleven at night when Jax finally rolled into her bed. Jules had heard his clothes fall to the floor with a thud and the bed dipped with his weight as he scooted up close to Jules and his hands sought out her thighs. His fingers grazed them at a leisurely pace and he planted a series of small, gentle kisses on the nape of her neck and down across her bare shoulder.

"Don't be mad at me."

Jules stayed silent, not ready to forgive her boyfriend for his interference.

"C'mon..." Jax persisted, his hands travelling up her stomach and stopping just short of the underside of her breasts. "It would drive me crazy if you worked at Cara Cara. I can't stand the thought of anyone else touching what's mine."

At this, Jules turned her head and could just make out Jax's features in the dark. "I'm not a possession, Jax."

"You're my old lady." He clarified with undeniable authority. As if what he said was the most obvious and indisputable fact in the universe.

"You don't get to decide what I can and can't do."

"I can do everything in my power to make sure no-one even gets close enough to touch you. If that means you don't get to work where you want then so be it."

Lifting herself onto her elbow, Jules tried hard to keep her voice low so as not to disturb the other occupants of the house but her irritation at Jax was difficult to contain.

"Listen to me clearly, Jackson. I will not be sidelined. I will not have you, or anyone else for that matter, controlling my life. I'm not a possession or an 'old lady'. I'm a goddamn human being. I have the right to make any choice I want and you can just deal with it."

"Darlin', you can do whatever you want but so can I. Whether you like it or not, you are my old lady and that comes with certain things you're going to have to learn to live with. You know this." Jax said gently, remembering how Jules had never embraced the role of 'old lady' the first time they had been together.

Flopping back down on the bed, Jules huffed in resignation. She was too tired to argue. The day had drained all the fight from her.

"What's the surprise?"

Jax smiled and kissed Jules' shoulder. He had been waiting for the right moment to bring it up but she had seemed so insistent on arguing that it had almost slipped his mind entirely.

"Get dressed. We're going for a drive."

Fifteen minutes later they were standing in a small entryway that opened up into a open plan living room. To her right, Jules could see a hallway that led to what she assumed were bedrooms and a bathroom as to her left, she could see an open door that gave her a glimpse of a large kitchen complete with a small wooden dining table. The living room was bare but clean; the walls a bright sky blue and pine wooden flooring beneath her feet. Behind her, Jax stood with his arms wrapped tightly around her waist and his chin resting on her shoulder. She could feel his smile against her cheek.

"What do you think?"

"Jax, what is this?" Jules asked, genuinely confused at where she found herself.

"Our new home."

"What... Is this yours?"

"Bought and paid for. Got a good deal from the old couple who lived here. They wanted a quick sale and I had savings."

Still taking it in, Jules pressed her hand to her mouth in shock. They had only been together a week. How had Jax managed to buy and decorate a house without her knowing?

"When did you do this?"

"Bought it about a month after you left. Thought it might give you a reason to take me back. Show you I was serious about changing." Jax shrugged nonchalantly, glossing over the slight tremble of hurt in his voice that Jules frowned at. "The guys helped decorate it this week."

She felt the emptiness when he let go of her. It was short lived though when he took her hand in his and pulled her down the hallway to the right and opened the middle door.

"I have something to show you."

When she stepped into the room, she did not notice the colour of the walls or the plush carpet. She saw only the wooden crib that stood against the far wall under the latticed window.

"Jax..." Jules mumbled unsure of what to say.

She turned back to face him and saw him standing there, looking out of place with his long hair, scruffy beard, and leather Cut, holding a small, gold ring in between his fingers. He advanced on her and pulled her in to him; one arm hooked around her waist.

"One more surprise..." he hinted at the ring. "Gemma gave me this the day we got back from the doctors appointment. You are my old lady, Jules, but I want you to marry me. I want you to wear my crow and have my kid. I can't promise an easy life but I can promise that you are the only woman I want by my side through whatever shit comes my way."

Jax leaned down and stroked her face with such tenderness that it almost broke her.

"Say you'll marry me."

 **So let me know what you think! I have lots of stuff planned for this and it's not going to be an easy ride haha**


	14. Chapter 14

**Back again guys! I really hope you enjoy the chapter and please let me know what you think :)**

"Jax, this is crazy." Jules stammered, stuttering over her own words.

She wormed her way gingerly out of his grasp and really focused on the truth in front of her. His eyes were hopeful but she did not return his positivity. The sight of the crib had sent her into a panic and the proposal had served to plunge her head first into a tail spin. One hand on her hip and the other running through her damp hair, Jules stepped back from Jax and shook her head.

"Babe, c'mon. Just think about it. How great it would be to live here, get married, raise a couple of rugrats."

Jax closed the miniscule distance between the two of them and gently forced the young woman to drop her hands so he could take them in his own. He could see the storm inside her eyes. She was conflicted and the inner turmoil she was so violently displaying, as her body shook, made Jax want to cradle her.

"I've only been back three weeks, Jax. A week ago I was engaged to Hale. It's too soon." She argued logically.

"I've known you since you were fourteen. I've loved you for years. Like hell is it too soon."

"It's one thing being your old lady, Jax, but quite another being your wife. This place is like a cess pit of gossips. People -"

Cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand, Jax sighed with exhaustion. "Screw what people think. The only people who matter to us would be happy for us."

"And the FBI?" Jules countered, removing his hand from her face and folding her arms over her chest. "I'd be an even bigger target. No-one with half a brain cell is going to believe that I don't know shit about the Club. No-one's that stupid."

"Darlin', the FBI don't have a damn thing on us. If they did, we'd be in prison by now. You said you wanted to be with me no matter what; that you loved me…"

"I do love you but marriage-"

"Give me one good reason why we shouldn't do this."

It was clear now that Jax's excitement and happiness has completely ebbed away into the darkness of the night, and as she continued to voice her objections, Jules struggled to reconcile her reasons with her own thinking. She stood in the room she knew, deep within her gut, would one day belong to her son as she provided the prince of SAMCRO with an heir, and tried desperately not to be swallowed whole by her own insecurities.

Her first instinct was to point out his copious infidelities but she had made a promise to move past it. To keep rehashing old arguments and obsess over things that could not be changed was borderline masochistic. Thus far, Jax had shown his willingness to work to gain her complete trust and remain faithful. So pushing down the retort, she said her only remaining argument.

"If you wanted to marry me, Jax, then you would have proposed a year ago."

"You weren't ready and neither was I." Jax answered truthfully, rubbing at the scruff on his chin. "But it took losing you for me to realise what I want in life and it's you. You're my family, darlin', and I when I thought I was going to lose you to Hale, I damn near killed him. I wanted to kill him."

Every solitary bone inside her body was telling Jules to relent. There, on a silver platter, the man she loved so destructively was offering her all she could truly want.

"I will never fuck up like I did last time. I kpromise."

He had done it again. Bared so deep into her soul that he had uncovered her fears with minimal effort. They were so intrinsically connected that she didn't even have to voice her truth for Jax to know it. His kiss that followed, as he pressed his forehead to hers and twisted his fingers into her hair, cemented his promise and broke down her walls.

Yet… she still could not say yes.

"Just… give me some time to think, yeah? I'm not saying 'no'..."

Disappointment marred Jax's handsome features and his eyes showed his dejection as he frowned but nodded reluctantly. He made no move to break the contact he had with the woman in his arms, but avoided her insightful gaze.

"The house… thank you." whispered Jules as she pressed her lips to his and gave him a loving kiss. "It's perfect."

This made Jax look up and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You still want to live here?"

"You bought me a house, Jax. How can I say no to that?" She replied, wrapping her arms around his neck and pecking him on the lips. "And I can't take another day of Gemma walking in on us."

The laugh that leapt from Jax was loud and untamed. Hugging Jules tightly, he spun her around and sighed happily into her brunette locks. It felt like a dream far too good to be true. They were one step closer to their happily ever after and perfection was within his grasp.

"Thank god." He muttered into her hair. "I don't think I could have handled another rejection."

Leaning her head against his broad chest, Jules splayed her hands against his back and clung to him. "We're going to be really happy here."

She meant every word. But fate was a fickle thing and both would learn that happiness was fleeting.

* * *

"The sofa might look better against the other wall." Jules muttered indecisively out loud.

Tigs and Juice stood, both on opposite ends of the brown leather sofa, sweat trickling down their faces. The room house was buzzing with noise as almost every member of SAMCRO zig zagged in and out of rooms, carrying various pieces of furniture and boxes. They had patiently followed Jules' every instruction; happy to lend a hand on the day Jax and Jules were moving into their new home together. Now though, as Tigs and Juice were faced with the possibility of moving the sofa for a third time, the older of the two men snapped and huffed like a dramatic teenage girl.

"Woman, if you think I'm moving this damn sofa again then you've lost your mind. I'm sweating more than a virgin in a brothel." Tigs pouted.

As if from nowhere, Jax appeared next to Jules and cracked a smile at his exhausted looking brothers. He cared very little for how furniture was arranged but he knew it mattered to his girlfriend and so, pulling rank, he nodded to gain their attention.

"Yo, what the lady wants, the lady gets."

"No, Tigs is right. It really doesn't matter where it goes." Jules admitted, unsure of why she was fixating so badly on such a trivial aspect of her new home.

"If it matters to you, then it matters to me."

"Really, Jax, it doesn't matter." Jules looked up into his deep set, blue eyes and smiled briefly before turning back to her two helpers. "Thank you for moving it. I think Gemma has filled the refrigerator with some beer. Go grab one. You earned it."

With grateful thanks, Tigs and Juice headed for the kitchen as Jules reaches for a box on the coffee table that had been placed in front of the sofa and started sorting through the miscellaneous items. A hand rubbed at the bottom of her back and she let out a soft moan in appreciation. They had been unpacking for hours and in the heat, her body had taken a battering.

"You should take a break."

"I'm fine, Jax." She replied, even as her body groaned in protest when she flung two thick, emerald green cushions on to the sofa.

Mouth already open to argue back, Jax was interrupted by the appearance of Chibs and Gemma as they walked down the short hallway and into the open plan living room.

"That's one fancy crib you've got in there, Jackie boy. Anything we should know?" Teased Chibs with a smirk and raised eyebrows.

Jules rolled her eyes and went back to busying herself with unpacking; placing an unnecessary amount of focus on arranging a vase, candles, and a set of tiled coasters. All where gifts from different members not the Club and Jules was one hundred perfect certain that Gemma had instructed them on what to purchase. Between herself and Jax, their worldy possessions were meager.

"That crib is for my grandbaby." Gemma stated matter of factly, not bothering to hide to hope or desperation in her voice.

"When there's a baby to tell you about, we'll let you know." Jax laughed but it was somewhat strained.

In the four days since she had turned down his proposal, Jax had felt Jules pulling away from him. Whether it was his own insecurity or actual truth, he was not sure. Still, his intuition told him that something was eating away at his girl and afraid to rock the boat and push her further away, he had kept silent on any aspects of their future beyond moving in together.

"She'll be pregnant before the summer is over." The Teller matriarch said confidently.

"Mom." Warned Jax, who was grateful when his mother held up one hand, gestured zipping her mouth shut with the other, and promptly stopped speaking.

Noticing the shift in atmosphere, Chibs shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other. Bending around Jax, the older, Scottish man called out to Jules when he noticed how quiet she had been throughout the short conversation and eyes her with care.

"Hey, Lass. Looks like you need some flowers for that case. What d'you say we go pick some up?"

Turning at her name, Jules felt her whole body relax and she gave Chibs a grateful smile and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yes, please." She surged forward, letting him put an arm around her shoulders and kiss her forehead.

"I can take you." Offered Jax, wrinkles forming on his forehead.

"Me and Chibs can handle it. You and the guys can finish unpacking. Gemma is better at this stuff than I am anyway." She kept her voice light and breezy. "We'll bring back more beer. We won't be long."

She left him with a kiss and obediantly followed Chibs out of the house. She mounted the back of his motorcycle, a beast of a machine in its own right, and immersed herself in the simple enjoyment of the summer breeze as they rode the streets at a leisurely speed.

When they arrived at the florist, she headed straight for the roses and fingered their soft, velvet petals and inhaled their sweet scent. They had always been a favourite of hers. They were the first ever flowers she had received. Incidentally, they had been a gift on her seventeenth birthday from a then twenty-two year old Jax. They were the bloodiest red she had ever seen and when she questioned the strange gift, as Jax had never bothered to buy her a gift on any other of her birthdays in the few years she had been part of his family, he had told her with a smirk that they reminded him of her; beautiful but with a thorny exterior that would sting anyone who wasn't careful with her. An involuntary smile played whimsically on her lips and picking up a large bunch of the darkest red roses she could find in the store, she took them to the counter and searched her purse for money to pay.

"I'm paying." Chibs stated, planting a bunch of money on the counter and bidding a cheery goodbye to the cashier; a pretty blonde haired woman only a couple of years older than Jules, who batted her eyelashes at the older man and had returned his goodbye with her own sickly sweet one.

Sniffing the flowers and crinkling the cellophane as she did so, Jules chuckled to herself but it was caught by Chibs who gave her a look that set her off laughing even more.

"What?"

"That girl is young enough to be your daughter and she looked about ready to mount you and ride you into oblivion."

"You've been hanging around Tigs too much, girly. That mind of yours is becoming more corrupted by the day.

"It's not my fault she wants you to be her sugar daddy."

"Girly, you are not too old for me to take you over my knee." Chibs poles playfully, rolling his eyes even as he blushed ever so slightly at Jules' insinuation.

"You should ask the cashier. I bet she'd be a willing participant."

They had reached the parking space a short way down the street where Chibs had parked. To her surprise, they walked past the motorcycle and further down the street until they reached the town's most popular ice cream parlour. Holding the door open for her liike a true gentleman, Jules was ushered in by her companion. The bell above the door rang out as the door shut behind them and she shuffled along after Chibs who headed straight for the counter. In the bright, clean space filled with balloons and pictures of rainbows and ice cream on the walls, he looked out of place and the image gave Jules yet another reason to grin.

"You're too skinny." Chibs eventually said when he returned for the counter a few minutes later holding two chocolate milkshakes, both with whipped cream and a cherry on top, in his hands.

The two friends sat at an empty table near the window and Jules thanked him for the unexpected beverage. She took a long sip through the straw and felt like a child all over again.

"Jax will be wondering where we are."

"Why did you say no when Jax asked you to marry him?"

He knew he was being blunt when he asked it but Chibs had learned long ago that Jules, who had more of her father in her than she would like to admit and way more of Gemma in her than should be possible, would only respond candidly to bold displays. She was skilled at hiding the truth but it always came to light when she was backed into a corner.

"I didn't know anyone knew about that." She said, folding her arms defensively.

"We all know. Jax was excited to ask you. He'd been planning on it since you came. Said he was just waiting for you to be ready first."

"Jesus Christ! Why can't anything in this damn family be private?!" Jules half-yelled.

"Hey, you can't blame the lad for wanting to marry you."

"He shouldn't want to marry me. I'm no good for him."

Reaching across the table, Chibs pried one of Jules' hands free and covered it with his own. He stared at her with fatherly love and spoke low but clearly.

"Why would you say that? You're one of us. You're his old lady and he would die for you."

"I'm a liability, Chibs. Anyone who wants to see the Club burn - who wants to hurt Jax - knows that I'm his weak spot."

"Jax would kill anyone who even tried."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is?" He urged.

"What if I'm just not cut out for this?" She hugged when she caught Chibs grimacing. "And don't give me that look! I'm serious! I couldn't handle being his old lady last time. I'm trying my best, but being his wife means there's no 'out'. There's no escape point for when things go bad-"

"Lass, if you keep thinking like that then there's no chance for you and Jax. You two keep coming back to one another for a reason. You can't go into this looking for a way out."

"I'm scared, Chibs." Jules finally admitted, her voice small.

"Of what?" He prodded, patting the young woman's hand sympathetically.

"The end."

"There isn't going to be one. Now stop being scared and start being the Old Lady I know you are. You could give Gemma a run for her money." Added Chibs as an afterthought that earned him a stark laugh from Jules.

"Gemma is a queen."

"You're royalty too. Remember that."

The next morning arrived with unwelcome news. Jax lay in bed, curled up tightly against his girlfriend and admiring her as she snoozed. He had woken just a few minutes before and had taken the opportunity to lay in peace and be thankful for the second chance they had been given to build a life together. He knew he had a tendency to destroy the things he lives but he swore that this time would be different. Never again would he give Jules a reason to be disappointed in him.

When his cellphone had started vibrating violently on the bedside table, he cursed it silently and quickly answered before it could wake Jules. He snapped at the caller and sat bolt up in the bed when Bobby's voice informed him of the unexpected turn of events. He cut the call after assuring his fellow SAMCRO brother that he would be at The Clubhouse shortly, and dressed quickly in faded jeans, a fitted grey t-shirt, and his Cut. Dread was already coursing through his veins surged on by an unhinged need to protect the woman sleeping in his bed.

Jax left Jules to sleep. He left no note. He made it to the Club House just in time to attend Church, the ironically named gatherings they held periodically to discuss club business, and he took his place next to Clay. His left leg shook against his will and nervous energy came off him in spades. The mood was sombre and no-one cracked a smile.

"The cops have already been called." Clay began, rubbing at his tired eyes. "Unser can't do jack to help. The construction crew found the body first thing this money when they broke ground on the extension for the warehouse."

"The FBI are going to be all over this." Opie added, voicing what was weighing on all their minds.

"Who is this guy?" Juice questioned. "I know we've done a lot of shady shit but I don't remember burying a body near the warehouse."

"Exactly." Clay boomed, sitting forward to lean on his elbows. "Either we're being set up or someone is hiding something. Either way, the FBI are going to be on us like flies on shit."

Meeting the eyes of his best friend, Jax took a deep breath. His voice was rough and laced with tiredness and apprehension.

"I know who it is."

The room fell deathly silent before it exploded with noise. Questions flew through the air and accusations landed at his feet. With each passing second as he tried to explain away his actions and as Opie came to his defense, Jax became more agitated. His fist came crashing down onto the table and the impact stung his hand.

"You guys really want to know the truth? You think you can handle it then fine!"

And so he began, as his brothers listened with bated breath.

"The body… it's Richie."

Clay pondered for a long moment as the name tumbled in the air. It's familiarity tugged at the cortex in his brain that processed memory and taking an educated guess, he asked for clarification.

"Richie? Richie… that boxer douche Jules used to date?"

"Yeah." Jax groaned and continued. "It was a couple of months after me and Jules got together. He was harassing her, following her. I warned him off...thought he got the message until one night he cornered her in Lumpy's gym. He tried it on, roughed her up pretty good."

Interrupting his step-son, Clay half rose from his seat. His face was an unflattering shade of crimson and veins were popping out on his neck.

"So that night we had to take her to the emergency room and you were nowhere to be seen? You told me that you were taking a ride… that she'd been mugged! You lied to me!"

"Just let me finish, Clay!" Yelled Jax, his hands balling into fists. "She wasn't even meant to be there. She offered to drop Lumpy's money off but forgot it. I got there just as he was about to…"

Silence had befallen the room. No-one knew what to say as they listened in horror at what had befallen the princess of SAMCRO.

Forcing himself to finish, Jax pressed his fists to his forehead and stared at the scyth carved into the table. "I beat the shit out of him but he wouldn't go down easy. He would have killed me if Jules hadn't have hit him with the dumbell. She saved my life, Clay, but I couldn't let her go down for it. I wasn't going to let that happen. I told her to get you guys but she was in too much shock. Unser helped me move the body and I buried him on my own. I never told you guys because Jules asked me not to. She wanted to forget it and that's what we did."

"That wasn't your decision to make!" Spat Clay as anger consumed him.

"She's my girlfriend!"

"And she's my daughter! I should have been the first person you told. Now, because of your stupid decisions we're all in the shit. This is going to fall back on all of us!"

"Clay's right." Bobby added, a hefty sigh making his shoulders slump. "We can't keep secrets."

"I have put this Club before her time and time again. That was the only time I ever put her first and you want to reprimand me for it?" Scoffed Jax.

"Hey, man…" Tigs interjected, hands held up in surrender. "We get it. We all want to protect the ones we love but we could go down for this. A little heads up would have been nice."

"Well I didn't think the bloody warehouse was going to blow up!" Jax shouted, rising to his full height and knocking his chair down to the fall with a clattering bang.

The brothes argued amongst themselves. Voicing loudly their limited options and fears for the future. It went without saying that Jules would be protected by SAMCRO, but it still did little to quell their anxiety. The sound of a gavel hitting the table cracked through the air and immediately everyone ceased speaking.

"Shut up!" Screamed Clay, his chest heaving. "Jax should have told us but we can't change that now. We have to keep tight and hope that the cops don't find anything else. Everyone keeps their mouth shut and we wait for this to blow over."

Muttering their agreements, the group disbanded and went their separate ways. With construction on the warehouse postponed, Clay ordered Tigs and Opie to work in the garage, whilst he sent Bobby, Chibs, and Juice, along with Half-sack, to meet with their arms supplier. Cornering Jax, Clay shut the door as soon as the others left and rounded on his step-son.

"The next time you want to keep a secret about my daughter from me, you'd better think twice."

Glaring at the older man, Jax felt his body clench with adrenaline. "I'm going to do whatever I need to, to protect her, Clay. If that means pissing you off, then deal with it."

"Don't test me, Jax."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Clay." Jax said through gritted teeth before turning his back on his president and step-father.

"Where are you going?"

"Home, to Jules. She needs to hear this from me."

"You can't tell her. She doesn't need this." Clay stated simply, not caring at all about lying to his own flesh and blood.

"I'm not going to lie to her, Clay. I'm trying like hell to fix us and I promised her I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. This is my mess."

"It's club business. Old ladies don't get involved in club business."

A scoff escaped him before he had even fully digested his disgust and with a slam of the door, Jax walked away from Clay. He ignored the shouts from his best friend and sped out of the Lot so quickly that he almost ran over Tigs who was coming out of the office with paperwork in his hand. When he walked through the door to his new home he heard Jules pottering about in the kitchen. Heading to her, he leaned against the door frame and watched her with a smile as she poured milk into her steaming mug and covered her yawn with the back of her hand. She turned and let out a startled yelp when she spotted him.

"Jesus, Jax." She held her hand over her hammering heart. "You been out for a ride?" She questioned when noticing his wind-swept hair.

"Been to church."

"Ah… everything okay?" Jules fished for answers whilst sipping tentatively on the hot coffee.

Hiding his frown, Jax sauntered into the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's slender waist. His blue eyes bore deep into her green ones and he kissed her lips with quiet tenderness. She seemed at peace and he did not want ruin it.

"I was thinking we should take a trip. Get out of charming for a couple of days."

She eyed him suspiciously but struggled to keep the glee from her voice. "Are you sure? What about the Club?"

Jax shrugged and grinned. "They can survive without me for a couple of days. You need this. We need this. Go pack a bag."

He watched her skip off with a mega watt smile on her face and his heart almost burst with happiness. The trip would give them chance to truly reconnect and Jax hoped he fears of her pulling away from him would be put to rest. They had been through so much in the short time since their reunion and the future appeared to be relentless in its testing of their relationship.

An hour later and they were barrelling down the highway; the morning sun beating down on them and scenery changing quicker than they could blink. With the rumble of Jax's motorcycle between her legs and her fingers digging into his waist, Jules felt her hair whip her cheeks and the further away from Charming they got, the lighter she became. Her worries, her insecurities, her doubts… they were floating away with every mile and she immersed herself in the hundreds of memories she had of riding on the back of Jax's motorcycle, both before and during being his old lady.

When they eventually reached the end of their journey - parking outside a quaint, bed and breakfast covered in ivy with sunflowers growing under the windows - Jules dismounted the machine and swayed momentarily before regaining her balance. She handed her helmet to Jax as he took of his own and shook out his long, dirty blonde hair. He took her hand in his and led her up the path with both their overnight bags slung over his shoulder. He had left his SAMCRO Cut at home; wanting to leave behind his life and responsibilities for just a short while and pretend to be normal.

"How did you find this place?" Jules asked in awe.

"Opie came here with Donna on their third anniversary. You deserve something special."

"Jax, you bought me a house."

"I did that because I fucked up. I did this because I love you."

Offering him her mouth, she returned his deep kiss and grazed his cheek with her hand.

"You're just full of surprises aren't you, Jackson Teller?"

"Darlin'... You have no idea."


	15. Chapter 15

**Apologies for the wait! I'm not too sure when there will be another update with Christmas coming up but I will try my best. Thanks for the reviews, follows etc :)**

 **Away - Chapter 15**

His hands were everywhere. They sought out more and more of the woman beneath him. Even when he found one supple, tantalising piece of flesh, he quickly moved on to another. The need to touch her, to consume and ravage her, was driving him insane. No matter how many times he had found himself inside of her during the last two days, it had done nothing to sate his appetite; the urge would always return and like a slave trying to please its master, Jax complied with his desires and buried himself so deeply into the woman he loved that he felt that there would never be an end to it.

The two lovers had spent their romantic getaway in an almost constant state of undress and through all of the glorious, orgasmic delight, Jules had been suppressing a nagging doubt. It was too easy. All of it. Jax's love was too easy. Leaving Charming, even if it were for just a short time, was too easy. Escaping the reach of SAMCRO was too easy. She was waiting for the penny to drop whilst simultaneously wishing that it never would.

"Jax…" Jules breathed, her voice catching in a whimper as a delicious soreness began to set in.

He kept her pinned to the bed with the weight of his body. His hips set an unrelenting pace that exhausted the pair of them, but still he continued to thrust into her. Their mutual pleasure was his only goal and so he ignored the breathless words of his lover; diving into the crook of Jules' neck and nibbling softly at the skin he found there.

"Jax… stop." Whispered Jules, not entirely sure whether she truly wanted him to or not, as her hands splayed across the bottom of his back and her nails dug deep into the skin.

A hiss left Jax's mouth at the sudden sting of nails biting into his sensitive flesh and it spurred him on. The heavy moans of the woman on he back, the tingle of excitement that tickled every nerve ending in his body, everything he felt as he plunged further into Jules proved to be too much and with one final push and the sound of his name being groaned sinfully into his ear, Jax emptied himself into his girlfriend. His body convulsed and when he eventually stilled, he pulled carefully out of her and lay his head on her chest. One hand wiping the sweat off her face and the other playing with Jax's tangled mess of dirty blonde hair, Jules focused on catching her breath and when she could finally speak again, it was a chuckle that came out.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking about Gemma."

Jax propped himself up on one elbow and frowned at Jules. "We just made love and you're thinking about my mom?"

"No." She stammered. "I just meant that if you carry on screwing me like that then I really will end up knocked up by the end of the summer."

Relieved, Jax rolled his eyes and grinned. "That's the plan, darlin'. I want you pregnant and barefoot."

Smacking him playfully, Jules shook her head in disbelief before pushing the man off her; not an easy feat considering his height and defined muscles. She headed for the shower before he could stop her. An hour later, with her damp hair hanging down her back in a loose braid, Jules was sat on the back of Jax's motorcycle barrelling down the highway as they made their return journey back to Charming. They came to a stop just on the outskirts of the town, some time later, and Jules took off her helmet when she felt Jax cut the engine. They were surrounded by open fields, the grass yellowing from the constant summer heat, and the young woman took the opportunity to drink the water from her bag and quench her unrelenting thirst. She was returning the now empty bottle to her bag when she spotted Jax coming back from the spot a few feet down the road, where he had headed to silently a couple of minutes before with his phone in hand.

Instantly, a sickening feeling washed over her when she saw the concern on her boyfriend's face. His shoulders were tense and his eyes were brewing like a storm.

"Have you checked your messages?"

"No." She started, rummaging in her bag for her phone. "I switched it off -"

"There's something you need to know." Jax admitted, rubbing his chin and avoiding her gaze.

"What's going on, Jax?"

"I should have told you when it happened - I meant to tell you. I just wanted us to have something good before more shit came our way."

Fingers grasping at the familiar shape of metal and plastic, Jules pulled out her phone but was stopped from checking it when Jax placed his hand over hers and looked gravely at her.

"You're scaring me." Jules mumbled, her face paling.

"You should hear this from me. Not Clay."

Waiting impatiently, she reluctantly put the phone back and dismounted the motorcycle.

"The crew working on the warehouse… they found Richie's body."

He saw the transformation instantly. Her golden skin lost its colour. Her green eyes were devoid off their carefree sparkle and her slender frame became stiff like a statue. Jax had expected her to react hysterically. To shout or cry or even blame him for not disposing of the body more permanently. To his surprise, Jules stared straight into his eyes and exhaled deeply.

"What does this mean?' she said through gritted teeth, fighting to remain composed.

"It means we keep our heads down and our mouths shut. The Club will deal with this."

"This isn't Club business, Jax! I'm the one who killed him!"

"Hey!" Yelled Jax, taking Jules' face in his hands before lowering his voice and pressing his forehead to hers. "Listen to me, this is Club business now. We'll take care of it. Nothing is going to happen to you. So just do what we tell you and I promise that everything will be fine."

"And if one of you goes down for his murder? What if you go to prison? I can't live with that, Jax."

"Everything will be fine. You'll be safe!."

"You don't know that!"

By now, the anxious young woman was pacing back and forth, wearing a tread into the tarmac. Her hands pulled at the roots of her hair and the pain allowed her to centre herself and focus. The time she had spent with Richie had been one of turmoil and drama. He had been overbearing and paranoid; taking any and every opportunity to degrade her and accuse her of being intimate with various members of SAMCRO. Ending their relationship had been the single best choice she had ever made and killing him to save Jax, even though it meant taking a human life, was something she had never regretted. Once the initial shock had worn off and she had come to terms with the horror she had committed, she found that she held no remorse or sadness over it. She had barely given a thought to it in so long that she had almost forgotten that it had happened. Until now. The ghosts of her past had been resurrected and they could possibly turn her life to ashes.

"You gotta trust me, darlin' or we're not going to get through this. Just let me handle it."

Jax pressed his mouth hard against Jules' and hugged her tightly. Her body was no longer relaxed and he could sense the happiness disappearing from her.

"How long have you known?" Jules asked, eerily calm.

He gulped before replying. "I found out the morning we left for our trip."

All Jules could do was laugh. It wasn't genuine, though. More like a forced bark of disappointment.

"So is this what the whole trip was about? What were you trying to do, Jax? Screw me into submission?"

She pushed him away as her anger got the better of her. Lies were bad but keeping secrets was worse and it had always been the downfall of their love.

"No!" Jax said, attempting to defend himself but making no move to get closer to an agitated and furious Jules.

"You had no right to keep this from me!"

"I didn't want to worry you! You've been through enough since coming back to Charming."

"That wasn't your decision to make, Jackson! You want us to get married and you can't even be honest with me!"

Having finally had enough of her tantrum, Jax surged forward and close the gap between them. He grabbed her arm by the elbow and kept his grip even when she tried to bat him away. Her eyes were blazing and the man knew that her anger at him was justified. Yet, that did not mean he would let her continue screaming at him.

"Clay didn't even want to tell you!" He spat, hating the betrayal he saw flash across Jules' face. "It was my call to tell you and I wanted to do it my way!"

"What the hell did you think was going to happen when we got home? People talk!"

"I was trying to figure out how to tell you. I screwed up, okay?!"

Shoving against her boyfriend with every ounce of strength in her body, she breathed with relief when she was free of his touch.

"And you thought this was the best way to tell me?!"

"No. I-" Jax started before being cut off.

"You should have told me so I could figure out a way to avoid going to prison!"

"You're not going to take the fall for this!"

"Yes I am!" She screamed back at him.

"No. You're not! Because I am!" Jax argued, his shoulders slumping in defeat and his face falling.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Leaning against the seat of his motorcycle, Jax exhaled and scratched his growing stubble. He stared down at the ground until Jules once again spoke his name and called his attention to her. Her hand was now placed gently on his bicep and she was standing between his legs.

"The FBI have been looking for me all morning. Gemma's been playing dumb but as soon as we got back to the Club house they're going to be on me."

"Jax, no…" Jules shook her head in denial.

"Listen to me. I'm going to sort this but if I do go down for this… don't wait for me. You got that? I don't want you wasting your life."

The slap was so unexpected that Jax stumbled when Jules' palm made painful contact with his cheek. He stood to his height and breathed through his nose as he grimaced through the pain. In front of him, his lover was glaring at him. She wore an expression of contempt and when she spoke, her voice came out strained and deathly quiet.

"If you ever say that to me again, Jackson Teller, I will kill you. Either we go down together or not at all. You got that?"

She was serious. Faced with the very real possibility that there could actually be an end for her and Jax, Jules was no longer concerned with whether or not she was 'Old Lady' material - whether or not Jax would keep his promise to remain faithful - but with ensuring that they would have a future in which to find joy and make mistakes.

Smirking, Jax nodded. "Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

Knocking back her third shot of tequila and motioning to the bartender to bring her another, Jules buried her head in her hands and rubbed her red, stinging eyes. She was sure she looked a state. When they had reached the Club House, the rest of the Club and Gemma were waiting for them. In attendance, too, were Unser and Hale along with a couple of FBI agents that Jules recognised as those who had interviewed her a couple of weeks previously. She had almost jumped off the back of the motorcycle and lunged at the female agent who was eyeing Jax like he was her prey and grinning smugly as she placed his wrists in handcuffs. If not for Chibs stopping her, she was sure she would be spending a night in the town's jail cell for assault.

The sound of glass connecting with wood make Jules look up and she thanked the bartender, ordered another drink whilst ignoring his judgemental glance, and drank the burning liquid in one gulp. Her chest ached. This, she knew, was not from the alcohol but from the forced separation she was enduring from the man she had loved for two years. She had managed to escape Chibs' clutches and had clung to Jax for as long as she could before he was pulled away and bundled into the back of the police car. Unser's pity had further broken her and she had refused to make any kind of contact with her former fiance when he tried to speak with her. Jax's last words to her were still ringing in her ears and she hoped they were true.

 _"Be back soon, darlin'"_

Fingering the new shot of tequila that had appeared on the bar, the distraught woman slammed her phone down when she heard it vibrate next to the glass and saw that Gemma was calling her yet again. She had missed calls from everyone who was close to her in Charming and she had rejected each and every one. Swallowing the tequila, she did not bother to order another and struggled to her feet, swaying dangerously as the alcohol began to hit her. She declined the offer of the bartender to call her a cab and wobbled unsteadily towards the bathroom that she knew was off to the right and down the hall. Pushing through a small group of people who tutted her, she flipped them off and as a result, did not see who she had crashed into until it was too late.

The smile. That smug, triumphant smile. It was like a beacon calling to the long buried fighter in her. But she was not alone. Next to her, David Hale stood. He was gazing at Jules with sympathy but she noted, at least, that he had the decency not to look pleased with himself for arresting Jax.

"Miss Miller."

"Agent Stahl." Jules slurred.

"How much have you had to drink, Jules?" David asked, reaching out to touch her but withdrawing his hand when he was met with venom and resistance.

"Touch me and it will be the last thing you do."

"Threatening an officer is a serious offence. You don't want to end up like your… step-brother… do you?"

The tone of her voice was grating on Jules. She was only a few inches taller than her. Dressed smart. Pristine, honey blonde hair. An air of snobbery surrounding her. Even with the woman's gun and FBI training, Jules was sure she could take the arrogant woman in a fight; an option that was becoming more desirable as the seconds ticked by.

"Boyfriend. Actually. But I think you knew that."

"I thought you were engaged to Deputy Hale, here?" Agent Stahl said, grinning like a Cheshire cat as she revelled in the destruction she was causing.

Rising above as an image of Jax's face filled her head, Jules let out a steady breath and silently counted to ten.

"It's been a pleasure, Agent Stahl… and I'd love to stay and chat but you're a total bitch."

The way the other woman's face fell was immensely satisfying to Jules and she turned on her heel and walked away, but not before hearing Agent Stahl loudly addressing David.

"You had a lucky escape. She's poison and she comes from trash. Her jailbird boyfriend is finished and that father of hers is next."

Seeing red, Jules lunged for Agent Stahl and caught her off guard, sending the older of the two women flying and landing with a hard thwack against the wall. She was on her quicker than the strike of lightning and had one hand wrapped around the federal agent's slender neck; making her gasp for air as her face slowly reddened.

"You're not the first person to come for SAMCRO…"

"Jesus Christ, Jules! Get off her!" David yelled, trying and failing to pull her off as an audience began to gather.

"My family always survives. Me and Jax will always survive…" she punctuated her point by pressing harder on her victim's windpipe and smirking when the woman spluttered. "And some jumped up piece of shit with a hard on for the Club isn't going to change that."

"Jules!" She heard David shouting again, pulling at her waist now.

"My mom may have been just a crow eater but I'm Jax Teller's old lady. There's a damn good reason for that, so don't fuck with me."

"That's enough!"

David yanked with brute force and pulled Jules free from his fellow law officer. Even as Agent Stahl was coughing and wheezing as she sucked in precious oxygen, Jules refused to give up and carried on kicking out and reaching for the woman she seemed responsible for her separation from Jax. Her hair was wild and her eyes were gleaming with fury. Spittle escaped her mouth as she shrieked at David to let her go; hell bent on destroying Agent Stahl.

"You need to arrest her, Hale." Agent Stahl demanded, now standing fully and ushering onlookers away as she subtly massaged her burning throat and chest.

"She just needs to calm down. She'll be fine." He replied, finding it difficult to keep Jules restrained.

"She just attacked a federal agent… with witnesses!" She hissed. "Either you arrest her or I will."

His eyebrows furrowing, the deputy sighed and gave one curt nod before Agent Stahl smirked at the angry woman in his arms and walked away. As soon as she had disappeared, he was glad when he felt Jules relax somewhat so he tentatively loosened his grip and spun her around to face him.

"You know I have to arrest you, right?" He said, hating the idea immensely.

Jules scoffed, rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest. "I don't care. Do whatever you want, David."

"Is this really how you want to live your life? Getting into fights in bars and getting drunk? Is being with Jax really worth it?"

Intentionally dismissing his questions, Jules held out her wrists for him to handcuff and was surprised when he shook his head and refused to do so. Instead, he took her gently by the elbow, eyes filled with sadness and silent in his disappointment, and led her out of the bar and into the back of his patrol car. When they reached the station, Jules was quiet as David scribbled briefly on a set of papers and made forced small talk with the on duty officer. She was led into a jail cell and when the door slammed shut, she kept her back to her former fiance.

"If anyone asks, I arrested you for drunk and disorderly."

The drunk woman stiffened when she heard him and realised that he was covering for her. There was a stilted tenderness to his voice and she could hear how weary and tired he was. Feeling sorry for him, she half turned and looked at him. She did not smile. There was no reason to.

"Thank you." She mumbled, not at all okay with knowing that she would owe him for this in the future.

"Jules…" His voice cracked. "When you're ready to come home, I'll be waiting for you.

It was a long, uncomfortable night of tossing and turning on a cold, metal bed with blankets that scratched her skin and offered no warmth. The jail cell had been cold in spite of the summer heat and when she woke, Jules' body ached from being scrunched up all night.

"Miller. Time to go." A portly officer with a scraggly beard and a red face was standing and holding the cell door open for her.

She was dragging her feet down the hall, head banging, eyes stinging, and her tongue covered in a disgusting layer of gunk from too much alcohol and a lack of available oral hygiene. She could feel the eyes of judgemental officers on her as she passed them so she sighed with relief when she spotted Unser at the end of the hall. The old man gave her a caring, sympathetic smile and greeted her with a hug.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey, Unser."

"Seems you got yourself into a right mess last night." He said with a smirk.

"The bitch deserved it."

"I don't doubt it." He whispered. "But if you want my advice, stay away from her. Jax needs you fighting his corner and you can't do that from a cell."

His gentle chastising getting through to her, Jules nodded and agreed with him, promising to try her best to stay out of any trouble that may come her way.

"How's Jax?"

The way Unser's forehead furrowed and his mouth tightened confirmed Jules' suspicions.

"You didn't hear this from me… they found blood on Richie's shirt. They're waiting for DNA but even with a rush job, it's still going to be a week or two before they know for sure who it belongs to."

"Then why have they arrested Jax?"

"They found a SAMCRO ring. You and Jax being together back then… Richie being your ex… they figure they have a motive." Unser paused as one of his fellow officers passed them in the hall. "They're going with the theory that Jax killed him over jealousy."

"That's ridiculous! Me and Richie weren't even together by then!"

"Calm down." He replied, holding onto Jules by her shoulders. "They can't hold him much longer and they don't have enough evidence to charge him."

Biting at her fingernails, Jules tried hard not to vomit as nerves consumed her. Every atom in her body was screaming in fear, and she was sure her feet were going to buckle from beneath her when a familiar voice called out to her and she lit up with vibrant relief.

"Jax!" She shouted, running to him as she saw him leave an interrogation room.

They embraced so strongly that it was difficult to identify where one ended and the other began. He smelled of sweat and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot from being awake all night. But his smile was infectious and even Unser found himself smiling at the two reunited lovers.

"Hey, darlin'. You okay?"

Kissing him in response, Jules clung to him like a dying man would to the last embers of life. Tears sprung in her green eyes and she purposefully steadied her breathing so that her voice would not break and betray her.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." Jax pledged, prying her off him and holding her face in his hands.

"Jax… do you still have that ring?"

 **review? I am also considering writing a story where Jax's brother is alive and a possible triangle with an OC. Let me know what you think :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hello my lovely readers. First of all, thank you to everyone who's reading, following, and reviewing. I'm glad you're finding the story enjoyable. I love hearing what you think so please don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts on events, characters etc. Sorry for the wait. I started a new job after Christmas so I hope this long chapter helps to make up for it.**

 **Away chapter 16**

"Do you want to go to the Club House?" Jules asked as she and Jax stood outside the police station, basking in the summer heat and bright sun.

"Honestly, I just want to go to bed." Jax replied, exhaustion wearing him down.

He was grateful when Jules agreed and he took her hands in his; a grin spreading across his face at the sight of the slim, gold ring on the fourth finger of her left hand. It was not how he would have imagined becoming engaged but the circumstances did not matter. Only the ending.

Spying the smile on the face of the man she loved, she gave him one in return and linked her fingers with his and started the walk home. They slept most of the day away and when they eventually awoke, clinging to each other in spite of the temperature, they revelled in the private moment. For Jules, where there had been anxiety, doubt, and restlessness since her return, there was now only a steadfast resolution to protect Jax and herself.

"What are you thinking about?"

The woman sighed and turned onto her back, staring at the ceiling. " We could run away."

Jax pulled her back to him and forced her to meet his gaze. A gentle shake of his head was his first response.

"No running. That's not the life I want for us."

"Jax, they're never going to stop. Stahl won't let them. I don't want to spend my life watching you rot in prison."

He wanted to tell her that wouldn't happen; that they would get to live out their lives in wedded bliss. He wanted to reassure her and absolve her of all her worries… but he couldn't. Life with SAMCRO had always come with risks. Love had always come with risks. For Jax, he was willing to pay any price for love.

"That ain't happening, darlin'." Jax punctuated his point with a conversation stopping kiss.

An incessant banging at the front door put a stop to any potential love-making and with a frustrated grunt, Jax pulled himself from the comfort of his bed and yanked open the door. Gemma ripped off her sunglasses and barged past her son.

"You finally get out of that damn place and you don't even think to call your mother?" She said with a raised voice, slamming her handbag down on the coffee table.

"Mom…" Jax started, shrugging his shoulders and trying to placate her with a smile.

"And where the hell is that damn daughter of mine too?" The older of the two demanded, referring to her step-daughter. "I've been going out of my mind and neither of you thought to tell me you were okay? I had to hear it from Unser-"

"Mom!" Jax shouted, stopping Gemma mid rant.

"What?" The older woman snapped; one eyebrow raised and her foot tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Me and Jules are getting married."

Gemma paused. "You're shitting me."

"God's honest truth, Mom. Ask her yourself." He answered as Jules appeared standing in the doorway at the end of the hall.

The young woman held up her left hand to show her step-mother the ring.

"Well then, this calls for a party."

* * *

The cheers of 'congratulations' had been almost deafening. The Club House was heaving and the impromptu, last minute engagement party was quickly turning into a wild den of drinking, dancing, and lust. So many people had hugged her that Jules felt dizzy from all the contact. Some people she knew. Some she didn't. Chibs had ruffled her hair, earning him a grunt of annoyance, and laughed out his genuine approval of the engagement. Tigs had made a crude joke about sex to Jax that made Jules' eyes rolls, and she had received a crushing bear hug from Opie along with the advice not to self-sabotage this time.

Those were all she remembered before the stream of tequila shots she had been consuming in the last hour completely clouded her mind. From across the room she could see her father tucked away in a corner with Jax. The tension between them was palpable and she stumbled over to them; intent on reprimanding Clay for his actions regarding his dealings of Richie's dead body. Yet, she never made it. A pair of strong, broad hands clutched at her arm and spun her round. The grinning face of Bobby finally came into focus when the room stopped spinning. His cheeks were pink with merriment and his breath smelled of beer and whiskey. His eyes were wide and his voice boomed.

"Excuse me, Mrs Teller. But you know the rules. You drink until you can't stand."

Jules laughed and shook her hair from her eyes. "I'm not Mrs Teller yet, Bobby."

She let him maneuver her over to the bar. "As good as. I always said no girl had any chance of locking him down except you. Not even Tara." He shouted over the music as he ordered a round of tequila shots and more beer.

Downing the shot in one gulp, she coughed before taking a swig of the beer. "Tara was before my time." She hummed, vaguely remembering how she had joined the Teller-Morrow family a good few months after Tara had departed Charming, leaving Jax completely heartbroken.

"That girl had nothing on you."

"I'll take your word for it."

"You should." Bobby fell quiet, his face displaying a whirling mind full of thoughts before it became blank and he raised his beer bottle and toasted to her. "To the future Mrs Teller. Long may she reign."

With her own smile, Jules clinked bottles with the curly haired man and silently drank half of her beer. A hand fell onto her waist and the scent of Jax's aftershave overwhelmed her as she felt him plant a kiss on her cheek and pull her tight against him. She turned to face him and cradled his bearded cheek in her hand. His eyes seemed troubled and she frowned.

"What's wrong?"

Completely ignoring her, Jax ordered his own beer and drank it in just two mouthfuls; thankful for the return of his lost buzz as the cold liquid made its way through his body.

"Mind if I steal the little woman away, Bobby?"

"Just bring her back soon. I'm in the mood for a duet." Bobby replied jovially as he scuffled away, shouting for Tigs and Juice to join him.

Still avoiding Jules' gaze, Jax stole the beer bottle from her hand, placed it on the bar, and grabbed her hand. He pushed through the jam packed bar room, shaking his head when Opie tried to stop and speak to him, and pounded the corridors until he reached the dorm rooms. Pushing open the door to his former abode, he yanked Jules inside and locked the door behind them.

"Jax…"

He attacked her lips with untamed savagery; his fingers twisting into her loose curls and his free hand splayed across the bottom of her back. He pulled her so close to him that he could feel her chest struggling to expand with the effort of breathing but he cared very little. His one purpose - his one carnal intent - was to be inside of her as quickly as possible and to own her completely. He wanted his scent all over her. He wanted to mark her. He wanted, just as she had accused the previous day, to screw her into submission. Only then would the anxiety in his stomach be able to subside.

"Shut up. I need to fuck you."

"Tell me what's wrong."

Again he ignored her question. "Take off your dress." He ordered.

Jules tried to pull away but the sensation of Jax's lips on her neck was too much; all pleasure senses heightened by the deadly mix of tequila and beer. Her feeble attempts to escape were half-hearted and she was no match for his strength anyway.

"Jackson." She badgered him again, unable to shake the feeling that his rigid body was caused by more than just the need to fornicate.

"Just take off the fucking dress, Jules." Jax snapped, snaking his hand up her short black, spaghetti strapped dress and being genuinely surprised when he discovered she was not wearing underwear.

"What's gotten into you? Is this to do with Clay?"

"You're not wearing any underwear… do you have any idea how fucking hot that is?"

He spoke over her, removing his hand from up her dress and shrugging off his Club Kutte, before ripping open his jeans and lifting his t-shirt over his head. He was bare-chested, a range of SAMCRO related tattoos scattered across his left pectoral and upper arm. Thin, white lines marred the skin on both arms and Jules was reminded once again of just how dangerous life with the Club would be. Jax wore the physical scars. She bore the mental scars.

"Please don't ignore me, Jax."

Doing the opposite of what she pleaded from him, Jax pushed her backwards onto the bed and climbed over her. He pushed his jeans down just far enough to free his hardened length and knocked the young woman's legs open with his knee. He tugged impatiently at the offending garment she still wore and settled for scrunching it up past her breasts so that she was helpless and bare before him. Diving in, he filled her with every inch of him and pinned her with his weight. Her breathless gasps sent shocks of electricity running down his veins and they spurred him on as he set a furious pace. He was sure he had heard Jules hiss his name when he had pulled the roots of her hair and bit down on her nipple. His mouth never stayed in one place too long. Whilst Jules was busy alternating between moaning his name and begging him to answer her questions, he was fully caught up in suckling on the tender, white skin of her neck, collar bone, and breasts until they were scattered with small, angry red marks that would take days to disappear. Satisfied with his work, he worked his way up to her ears and nibbled on her earlobe as he curled his fingers even tighter around her thick strands of hair and continued to pound forcefully into her tender body. When he felt her nails dig into the top of his backside, he grabbed her wrists and held them with one hand above her head. Now she truly was at his mercy.

"If I fuck up, please don't run."

"What? I don't-" Jules groaned wantonly as Jax hit a spot deep inside her that almost sent her over the edge.

He was so desperate now. So close to his own orgasm and crazy in his need to make Jules understand him. His words came tumbling out and left his fiance confused.

"I'm going to fuck up. I won't mean to…" he let out his own groan of pleasure. " But I will. I know what I'm like. If I do something stupid…"

"You're not making any sense." Jules managed to say in between taking deep breaths to slow her on coming orgasm.

"It isn't your fault. Just remember that."

Neither said another word as Jax reached his orgasm first; pushing himself impossibly deeper into his fiance as he spilled his seed and triggering her orgasm along with it. Eventually, when he had begun to soften, he pulled himself out of her reluctantly and hitched his jeans up. He paid no attention to Jules calling for him as he cleaned himself and redressed in the bathroom. He stepped back into the room to see Jules, her dress now back in place, standing and looking completely furious with him. Her arms were folded and she moved away when he tried to approach her.

"I'm sorry." Jax preemptively striked.

"You want to tell me what the hell that was about?"

"I told you. I'm going to mess up and when I do-"

"I'm not talking about your cryptic messages!" She shouted. "I'm talking about you screwing me like a whore."

"Darlin'..." Started Jax, stepping forward with a sigh.

"No! You screwed me like I was nothing more than a crow eater."

"You don't understand-"

"No, you don't understand. I don't know what is going on with you tonight but you ever do that to me again and it will be the last time you touch me, Jax."

Standing defiantly, Jax held his head high and nodded once. Then he defended himself.

"I'm leaving tomorrow morning. Clay is sending a group of us to Chicago. I never meant to treat you like a whore. You're not a whore. I was trying to make myself feel better and I used you to do it."

Rage flowing, Jules threw her hands up in the air and ranted on. "Exactly my point! Why do all the men in my life think they can use me? Wait - you're going to Chicago? Why?"

It had finally registered in her hazy, angry, drunk brain that Jax was leaving and it stopped her dead in her tracks. Panic began to bubble away in her stomach and her face fell as she processed what he was saying.

"It's just a few of us. We'll be back before you know it."

"How long?" She managed to get out, knowing that every minute he would be away on a run she would be sick with worry.

"Three, four days. Tops."

He had now closed the distance between them and was rubbing her shoulders and arms in a bid to pacify her.

"Why?"

Jax gulped. Jules would not like the answer. "I can't tell you. It's Club business."

"Bull shit, Jax. We're engaged!"

"Believe me, it's for the best." He said, truthfully, knowing that if she knew what they planned to do then she would be in even more danger with the FBI.

Jules remained rooted to the spot and stayed quiet; waiting hopelessly for Jax to tell her the truth. The sense of déjà vu was grating on her and it was almost as if the last nine months had taught her lover absolutely nothing. When he still was not forthcoming with any answers, she left him alone in the room. She heard him sigh behind her as she stalked down the corridor and back into the party, so she knew that he had chosen to follow her despite not approaching her. Leaning over the wooden countertop of the bar, she grabbed at the first bottle of hard liquor she could find and flung it back in her mouth. She gagged when the taste hit her tongue. She had never liked rum but it would have to do. Jules was pissed as hell and wanted to drink away her feelings.

"Baby, maybe you should stop drinking." Jules heard Gemma address her.

Opening her eyes and coming to an abrupt stop, the intoxicated woman pouted. How much time had passed whilst she had lost herself dancing was undetermined. The rhythm of the music had brought her body to life and she had closed her eyes, welcomed the darkness, and let the beat wash over her in the crowded, sweaty room. To now be forced to stop and face reality was unsettling. Rolling her eyes at her step-mother, Jules drank the last dregs of the bottle in silent defiance before turning on her heel and diving further into the crowd. Worried for the well being of her future daughter in law, Gemma marched over to the bar.

"None of you are to serve my step-daughter for the rest of the night. You hear me?" Barked Gemma as she glared menacingly at the crow-eaters that had been left to man the bar.

"Mom, lay off." Sighed Jax, sipping slowly on his beer as he and Opie sat next to one another on stools. "Just let her blow off some steam."

"She's making a fool of herself."

Across the room, Jules spied her family talking amongst themselves. She cared very little about the subject of their conversation until she saw Gemma glance her way and shake her head disapprovingly. With hard liquor firing up her senses and lowering her inhibitions, the intoxicated woman surged through the throng of high, drunk, half-naked bodies and stopped just short of the bar, a mere few feet from where Jax and Opie were sat.

"Give me a vodka cranberry. Lots of ice."

The woman in front of her hesitated. An annoying 'um' sound left her lips and her eyes darted straight to Gemma who was leaning with one hand on the bar and the other on her hip. Snapping her fingers in front of the crow eater's face, Jules shouted over the music.

"Hey! Did I stutter?"

"No. I um…"

"You what? Speak up sweetie. You girls never seem to have a problem using your mouths."

"I'm sorry. I- Gemma said not to serve you…" The woman replied, chewing on her candy pink nails and trying hard not to look Jules in the eyes.

"Look at me. I assume that somewhere under that fake blonde hair of yours there is a brain. So use it and tell me how you think this is going to go for you if you don't get me my drink?"

By now, Jules was vibrating with anger. It wasn't the woman's fault, she knew. The scared female in front of her was young - younger even than her- and new. Her childlike face wasn't one she recognised from before her hiatus from Charming.

"I have to do what Gemma said…" the blonde crow-eater stammered.

Jules let out a dry laugh. "Are you actually shitting me? Do you have any idea who I am?"

"I got this."

Jules heard Jax's voice down her ear as he appeared at her side and flashed the star-struck crow eater a megawatt smile. His hand fell to the bottom of her back and his breath tickled her cheek when he turned his full attention to her.

"Go away, Jax."

"Party's over, baby. We're going home."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm having fun." She argued, facing away from him.

He gripped her by the elbow and whispered darkly down her ear; causing Jules to shiver involuntarily. "We're going home. You want to do this the hard way then we can. I can throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of here kicking and screaming, or we can leave quietly and I won't be forced to put you over my knee once we're alone. Your call, Jules."

There was a smirk playing on his lips but steel in his eyes. The sensible thing would be not to provoke him or call his bluff. But Jules had never been one to back down easily, and she was quickly discovering just how easy it was to slip back into old patterns of behaviour.

"Screw you, Teller."

Jax planted a soft kiss on his fiance's lips. "Hard way it is then."

Making it look effortless, Jax swooped Jules up and dumped her over his shoulders. Her fists pummelled his back and she shrieked at him; throwing daggers at everyone as they stared at them and made space for Jax to pass. His broad hand came down hard on her ass and she heard him laugh.

"You're going to pay for that, Jax!"

"Looking forward to it, darlin'."

* * *

 _Be back soon, darlin'_

The note had been scrawled on a yellow post it note and stuck to her forehead. She had felt it crinkle and dig into the bridge of her nose when she had awoken; rolling over to bury her face deep into the pillows and block out the sunlight streaming through the crack in the curtains. Jules had ripped it from her head and frowned when she realised that Jax had already left. Snippets of the night before flashed before her eyes like a bad movie and she groaned in embarrassment. Her eye caught the time on the alarm clock. It was already early afternoon but she had nowhere to be. Without Jax to occupy her time, she realised that she had very little to focus on. The house felt too empty and too lonely without him.

Eventually working up enough energy to drag herself from the bed, she learned she was still dressed in her party clothes and the smell of alcohol and smoke made her gag. She changed into one of Jax's SAMCRO t-shirts and ran her fingers through her tangled hair until it was smooth enough to hang up in a ponytail. Her first port of call was to caffeinate herself and a half hour later she was sat cross legged on the living room rummaging through boxes they had yet to unpack.

Time flew by faster than Jules anticipated and two hours later, ankle deep in photo albums, trinkets, and other memorabilia of her past, she heard a knock at the door. Gently lifting herself to her feet, she grumbled at the ache in her back and heard her joints crack in objection at the sudden movements. She shuffled over to the doorway and yanked it open; greeted by Chibs with a fatherly hug. Stifling a yawn, she invited him in and padded down the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Do you want a drink, Chibs?" She shouted.

"No, Lass. Just came to see how you are." He replied, kneeling down to look at the scattered photos and picking one up that caught his eye.

Returning with a half full glass of orange juice, Jules took a sip and put it down to rest on the coffee table. Chibs tilted the photograph and allowed her to look at it.

"Taking a stroll down memory lane?"

"Something like that." She muttered, taking the photograph from him.

It was a polaroid of her and Jax taken on her sixteenth birthday. She wore a goofy grin and a silver party hat and Jax's arm was flung around her shoulder; looking every inch the doting big brother he had been back then. His hand held a beer bottle in it and she could still remember how he had let sneak her first taste of beer that day.

"I haven't seen this in years. It was the first time I let Clay and Gemma celebrate my birthday."

"That was some party." Chibs mused, a smile on his lips.

"I thought Gemma was going to kill that poor guy who delivered the cake late." She laughed before letting the picture fall back to the ground.

"Can't say I would have blamed her. That party was her whole life that spring. She wanted to spoil you. Clay too."

"I don't think either of them counted on Donna going into labour though."

"Ah yes. That was a surprise."

"Surprise? I thought Opie was going to cry and Jax looked about ready to faint." Sniggered Jules as the chaotic memory replayed.

"Opie never did learn to wrap it before he tapped it. Jesus, I think he and Donna would have ended up with a bunch more babies if he hadn't done time."

Now holding a photograph of her, Donna, Opie, and Jax - her and Donna in the arms of their respective lovers - Jules sighed sadly. It was taken about a month before she had left Charming and she remembered how the smiles they all wore had been hiding the pain of their deteriorating relationships. Suddenly, she realised that, in spite of so much having happened in her life since her return, she hadn't been home for even the whole summer and there were still things she did not know about the people she called family.

"I heard Opie and Donna divorced whilst I was away."

"Yeah. Ope was pretty torn up about it but Donna wanted out. Don't know too much about it to be honest. Everything changed when you left."

A stab of guilt and Jules gulped. "How did she die? I would have asked Opie but he didn't even tell me she had died. Piney let it slip."

"Drunk driver."

"And the kids?"

"Living with Donna's mom." The crinkle on his forehead fell away and was replaced with a forced smile. "Anyway, no point dwelling on the past. We have lots to be thankful for. You're finally going to be a Teller."

Rolling her eyes at Chibs' massive grin, Jules bent down and started gathering all the photographs together and throwing them back in the box.

"It's just a name, Chibs."

"It's a name that means something around here. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't part of our lives. You might be Clay's kid but you're a Teller. You have been since the day Jax set eyes on you."

"Ew. Jax was nineteen when I met him."

"Lass, the moment you became his family Jax made it all about protecting you. It was only a matter of time before you became his Old Lady."

"Oh yes. It was meant to be." Jules mocked with a smirk and another roll of her eyes.

"Woman, this Club doesn't have a lot to be happy about on most days. Let us have this one, yeah?"

Sighing, Jules nodded and bumped the Scottish man's shoulder with her own. She offered him dinner but he refused; mentioning briefly a date he had for later that evening. He was over the threshold and had already placed a chaste kiss on Jules' cheek when he chose to give the young woman one last piece of advice.

"Give Jax a break, yeah? Everything he's done since you came back has been for you. You think he's keeping secrets but he's just trying to do right by you. Trust him."


	17. Chapter 17

**Apologies this took so long and is shorter than usual. I lost interest and inspiration if I'm honest so feedback is much appreciated. Enjoy! :)**

 **Away chapter 17**

Rolling up to the hospital gates, Jax, Tigs, and Opie slowed their motorcycles to a crawling pace. They navigated the parking lot until they found a space big enough to park together in a far out corner that would attract little attention. They had chosen to forego their Club Kuttes so as to go unnoticed in their quest, and the scorching summer sun beat down on them unforgivingly. The heat served to make Jax even more irritable and he snapped when he heard Tigs question him.

"You okay with this?" His deep voice portrayed genuine concern.

"I'll be fine. Let's just get this done so I can get home to Jules." Jax answered back, tucking his helmet into the hidden compartment beneath his seat and pocketing the keys.

"It might not be that simple, Jax." Opie started, one hand on his best-friend's shoulder as he looked up at the impressive grey and white building. "It's been a long time. You might be wrong about this."

"She's here. Trust me."

"And if she doesn't want to help?"

Jax clenched his fists and tried to ignore the ball of emotion deep in his gut that made him feel like he was betraying the woman he would soon call his wife. His chest also beat quickly and he had goosebumps despite the heat. His palms were sweaty from nerves and he cleared his throat forcefully to stop it drying up completely.

"She owes me."

"She probably doesn't see it that way." Mumbled Opie.

"I don't give a shit what she thinks. I won't let Jules go down for this and I can't do time. She'll help because she won't have a choice."

Entering through the automatic doors, the three men kept their voices low and went in search of the main reception. They found it manned by a young, blonde woman in floral scrubs with her hair in a high ponytail that highlighted her youthful complexion. Her eyes met Jax's and instantly her smile became wider. He noticed how she leaned closer to him and saw the blush that crept into her cheeks. He sighed inwardly. To most women he was just a pretty face; something that he immorally used to his advantage whenever it suited him.

"Well, hello there, sweetheart. I'm trying to track down someone and you look like you could help me."

"Oh um… what's the patient's name?"

Jax shook his head and leaned so close over the counter that he could smell the eager woman's citrus perfume. "She's not a patient. She's a doctor."

"I'm really sorry. I can't give out staff information. It's hospital policy."

"Of course, darlin'. I wouldn't dream of getting a pretty girl like you into trouble…" he whispered, flashing her a wicked smile. "But she's actually my sister. I'm only in town for a couple of days and I want to surprise her. We haven't seen each other in a long time. Just trying to be a good brother."

"Oh my god. That's so sweet!"

Jax nodded in fake agreement before trailing the tips of his fingers over those of the young woman. "I just need you to page her. That's all. No rule breaking required."

For a few seconds the blonde woman gazed longingly at Jax as she seemed to contemplate her options, but with one wink and a graze of his hand down her face her resolve caved.

"No problem. What's your sister's name?"

"Knowles. Tara Knowles."

* * *

Careful not to make a sound, Jules tiptoed through the common room and down the corridor; grabbing a half empty whiskey bottle on her journey that had been left abandoned on the bar. It was the middle of the night and the last thing she wanted to do was alert anyone to her presence. Her own bed was too daunting. The eternal silence and loneliness had pressed on her until she felt boxed in and had to escape. Still, though, she needed to be close to Jax and this was the best she could do.

She had tried calling him but they always seemed to miss each other. She had already faced two days without him and her body was wound up and tense every minute of the day. She was like a junkie and the withdrawal symptoms from Jax were unwelcome yet familiar. Jules had thought he would have at least left her a voicemail or sent a text. Anything just to let her know he was safe. All she had had was radio silence.

So she found herself, at 4:03am, lying on crumpled sheets in the room Jax used to occupy, sipping lazily on whiskey and staring at the screen of her phone; her face glowing under the artificial light.

 _When are you coming home?_

 _I miss you._

 _Whatever you're doing please be safe._

 _Jax?_

 _Gemma is driving me insane with this community picnic stuff._

 _Answer your damn phone, you jackass!_

She hadn't meant to lose her temper with him but she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. It was eating away at her; gnawing on her insecurities like a parasite. It left her constantly exhausted and she had started to question her own sanity at allowing herself to be pulled back into this life.

She woke, groggy and disoriented, to the sound of glass shattering and indecipherable yelling. Without a second thought, she flung back the bedsheets and stumbled down the hallway to the common room. There had been enough fights, raids, parties, orgies, and arguments within the grounds of the SAMCRO Clubhouse that the noises did not worry her; she was fuming that her turbulent sleep had been interrupted.

Shards of glass littered the floor and the morning sun made them glitter; an odd sight in the usually drab room. Rubbing at the sleep in her eyes, Jules adjusted to the bomb site before her and was only minimally surprised to find her father and step-mother at the epicenter of it.

"I can't believe you would be so stupid!" Gemma seethed, her face glowing red as she held another glass in her hand; poised and ready to throw.

Across the room, Clay kept his distance. "It isn't any of your business."

"He's my son! His whole life is my bloody business! You sent him to that…that…woman! You know what she did to him!"

"Jax will get the job done because he has to. You're blowing this way out of proportion!"

"I swear to God, Clay, if anything screws up this wedding I will-"

"You'll what, woman?" Scoffed the man, rolling his eyes and grinning at his wife's threats. "Seems to me that you don't trust your own son."

"I trust him." She argued, folding her arms and scowling at him. "It's that damn whore I don't trust."

Emerging from the doorway, Jules shouted to gain their attention and eyed them carefully. They both shifted and avoided her gaze; looking as if they had both been caught red handed by a disappointed parent.

"One of you had better tell me where the hell Jax is."

"Jules, this doesn't concern you."

"The hell it doesn't, Clay! Don't treat me like a child. Jax isn't answering any of my messages. Even Opie won't answer his phone."

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Gemma. Club business has nothing to do with you. You're an Old Lady so learn your place and stay there."

With his parting words, Clay stormed out of the room. Stung, Jules remained on the spot until the sound of Gemma calling to her finally broke through the haze.

"Come with me, baby. Someone else can deal with this mess."

Crest-fallen and desperate for answers, the young woman lifted her heavy eyes and frowned when her voice came out a whisper. There was weakness in her and she wanted to tear it from her bones and set it alight until it turned to ash.

"Gemma, have you heard from him?"

Her silence was all the acknowledgement Jules needed and she felt herself begin to crumble.

"Come with me."

"Where are we going?" Muttered the younger of the women.

"We have a wedding to plan."

* * *

 _Answer your damn phone, you jackass!_

Jax's thumb hovered over the digital keypad of his phone as he typed and retyped his response. He lay alone in a cheap motel bed, sheets scratching at his skin, with Tigs snoring away in the bed situated a few feet away from him and Opie on the couch; one leg dangling off the edge and the other touching the floor as the furniture struggled to accommodate his height. Sunlight was creeping through the crack in the curtains and it lit up the dust in the air. Soon they would be leaving. Their return to Charming was upon them. The unbridled joy Jax knew he would feel once Jules was back in his arms was all that was keeping him from going insane. He was itching to leave. To put Chicago and Tara as far behind him as possible.

They were safe. That was all that mattered… at least that what he kept telling himself; kept reminding himself every time he looked in the mirror or someone mentioned his fiance's name. What was done was done. There would be no changing it. It had to be done. By any means necessary, Clay had told him. Jax had known just what his step-father had meant. Maybe one day, the blonde-haired man thought, he would be able to forgive himself.


End file.
